Partition 1
Posted: 04 November 2003 Word Count: 154 Summary: For my friend Fearless...........a beginning
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Great blasphemy of blasphemy When Gabriel spoke in a dream to me He came with the sword of the one true God and was lit by a crescent moon.
And he danced with the gods who were one true God and each was a face of a dazzling stone a gem God cut to appear to man As a host while he reigned alone,
Then the angel showed me a broken land Where the sons of God ripped his world apart Where his flesh was torn and his blood burst free and escaped from the ruptured heart.
Ten thousand columns moved as one With a new born's map they divided man uprooted homes and dispersed all hope With the trek and the caravan.
And I heard the screams from the blood soaked train And watched the child in the cleansing fire And I tasted smoke from the acrid flames of a nation's funeral pyre.
Comments by other Members
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Fearless at 10:19 on 05 November 2003
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Dearest Peter
This is brilliant; it conveys the tragedy, agony and pain of the journey undertaken by the millions of people who were once one family, one land.
The spirituality of your lyric will appeal to those who survived the journey and still wonder 'why?' Spiritual folk understand fate and destiny all too well, but like anyone else, wonder why the price must be so high.
It reminds me of the tragic, profound prose of Sadat Hasan Manto, engraved on the heart of each and every survivor of that journey through hell.
Write on.
Deepest love and respect, Fearless
<Added>
A bittersweet blues on a harmonium from Manto's partition stories:
'Now that you too have abandoned me by living in a land far removed; whom can I call my own, O beloved'
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Account Closed at 22:16 on 05 November 2003
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I found this very moving (if you'll forgive the pun) and it reminded me of the strange spirituality of Blake. It lingers in the mind well after the final word is read. The only thing I'd query is I might have preferred lines 2 & 4 in Verse 1 to rhyme too, as the others do. Could you say "When Gabriel spoke in a dream too soon" - would that work??
Anne B
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peterxbrown at 23:57 on 05 November 2003
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Thank you Fearless. I want to write more about the Partition and the theme of exodus. I have a lot to learn! (I will be adding Manto to my list!)
Holly, thank you so much. I rhymed the first two lines as an experiment to separate the intro from the rest, as if the vision was almost a different poem. I take your point though and may well change it!
love peterb XX
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Fearless at 07:42 on 06 November 2003
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Peter
His translated works are available as 'Mottled Dawn'. I think it's out of print, but you can probably locate a copy through Exedra Book Search
Fearless
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