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Partition 1

by peterxbrown 

Posted: 04 November 2003
Word Count: 154
Summary: For my friend Fearless...........a beginning

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Great blasphemy of blasphemy
When Gabriel spoke in a dream to me
He came with the sword of the one true God
and was lit by a crescent moon.

And he danced with the gods who were one true God
and each was a face of a dazzling stone
a gem God cut to appear to man
As a host while he reigned alone,

Then the angel showed me a broken land
Where the sons of God ripped his world apart
Where his flesh was torn and his blood burst free
and escaped from the ruptured heart.

Ten thousand columns moved as one
With a new born's map they divided man
uprooted homes and dispersed all hope
With the trek and the caravan.

And I heard the screams from the blood soaked train
And watched the child in the cleansing fire
And I tasted smoke from the acrid flames
of a nation's funeral pyre.

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Comments by other Members

Fearless at 10:19 on 05 November 2003  Report this post
Dearest Peter

This is brilliant; it conveys the tragedy, agony and pain of the journey undertaken by the millions of people who were once one family, one land.

The spirituality of your lyric will appeal to those who survived the journey and still wonder 'why?' Spiritual folk understand fate and destiny all too well, but like anyone else, wonder why the price must be so high.

It reminds me of the tragic, profound prose of Sadat Hasan Manto, engraved on the heart of each and every survivor of that journey through hell.

Write on.

Deepest love and respect, Fearless


A bittersweet blues on a harmonium from Manto's partition stories:

'Now that you too have abandoned me by living in a land far removed; whom can I call my own, O beloved'

Account Closed at 22:16 on 05 November 2003  Report this post
I found this very moving (if you'll forgive the pun) and it reminded me of the strange spirituality of Blake. It lingers in the mind well after the final word is read. The only thing I'd query is I might have preferred lines 2 & 4 in Verse 1 to rhyme too, as the others do. Could you say "When Gabriel spoke in a dream too soon" - would that work??

Anne B

peterxbrown at 23:57 on 05 November 2003  Report this post
Thank you Fearless. I want to write more about the Partition and the theme of exodus. I have a lot to learn! (I will be adding Manto to my list!)
Holly, thank you so much. I rhymed the first two lines as an experiment to separate the intro from the rest, as if the vision was almost a different poem. I take your point though and may well change it!
love peterb XX

Fearless at 07:42 on 06 November 2003  Report this post

His translated works are available as 'Mottled Dawn'. I think it's out of print, but you can probably locate a copy through Exedra Book Search


roovacrag at 14:00 on 11 November 2003  Report this post
Powerful. Hope there is a part 2. xx Al

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