Mattyai16

Sorry to post this from the beginning again, but again some small things have beenaltered. Olny a few words in the first scene, but the fraction of the second scene i previously posted has evolved quite a lot in language terms. What do you think of the end to the scene? Do you think I should continue and finish it properly with the love scene? Or leave it as an imagination task for the reader? Criticism, comments and suggestions are, as always, extremely welcome (and much wanted). 

The end is first, then the beginning of them. Very rough in places but i had to write it down while i had some inspiration (3AM this morning). Im entirely unconvinced by the second scene, as i feel it drifts off towards the end, but comments, criticism and advice is very very welcome! 

The start of a novel, but end of a story. Very early, pretty jagged around the edges.. but i like it for some strange reason. I feel it has emotion, and depth which really isn't there... I also have an idea for a story behind it.. I might have found my story, and perhaps my style. Perhaps indeed.