Doyaldinho

The 2nd draft of my short story. Hopefully the lumps have been ironed out of the prose. I would like your opinions on the piece as a whole; do you think it is "good" enough? I've had a hard time getting believable reviews from people I know with most of my stuff!!! 

A short story set in the fantasy world I have created for my WIP novel. I decided to write this based on the past of one of its characters. Cora's past is only implicitly mentioned but I felt it interesting enough to be told here. This is also the first time that I have written anything in the 1st person, never mind attempting to write from a woman's perspective! 

The first half of my fourth chapter. Nit pick away!