mafunyane

Jo is on her own in the bush waiting for Kenny. Some of this may be familiar as it has been rehashed from an earlier chapter. All comments appreciated. Particularly wonder if too many different things are going on in this one chapter. 

13 year old Jo Baker has joined her film-making aunt and uncle for the summer: in Kruger National Park, filming elephants. Chapter 1 covers her travel to the camp where she is staying. Chapter 2 picks up on the same day. NB This is a rehashed version of previous chapters 1, 2 and 3 - trying to get some of the action into the book earlier. So it may be familiar to some of you. But is it better? 

This is a bridging chapter - between the end of day 2 in Camp (where Jo visits the Elephant Hall) and the next week. I want to get to a stage where Jo is a bit more settled in the bush. But this does mean quite a lot of TELL not SHOW at the start. Does it work? 

I think I know what the reaction to this chapter is going to be. The question for those who've read this and the previous chapter is really whether I should get rid of them (as non-essential to the plot) or is there (as I hope!) merit to the incidents themselves. (I also like this chapter because it shows both Kenny and Jo being strong and working together - which becomes important later. But maye I don't need all that...). All views appreciated! 

Slightly revised for the third time(!), this is the synopsis for Average Jo and the Magnificent Seven, a kids adventure novel for 8-12s.