writersblock

This is a short story with a supernatural theme which will eventually have 5 or 6 chapters. Most of the story is centred around the flying action during WW2. These two chapters are a first draft and will, of course, require some editing and re-writing. I have posted them here because I would love some feedback and constructive criticism before I proceed further. Thanks for reading.  

This story, as some of you know, was originally over 5000 words! Thanks to your good advice I've hacked it down to less than 4000. It's not perfect but much, much better for the surgery...