ChrisCharlton

This is the beginning of a new story I'm working on - I'd be interested in any feedback - especially, does it seem to be an interesting idea? Not to 'deep' (Krall is not actually terribly happy to be brought back, and see's much wrong with our world - I am intending it as a lightweight critique of social/ecological/family/prejedice issues, as seen from an outsider)? Also - what would be an appropriate age range... that has me flumoxed at present. 

This is a rehash of the first version. It is very definatly meant to be a story (rather than piece of education - though if someone leans from it, fine), and it is told from the point of view of an angry young man. Most particularly, I am interested in comments on style, readability and interest, but all observations gratefully accepted. Oh - and while there might be humerous bits, it's NOT meant to be funny! 

Tightened, refined, polished - probably to death 

Chapter 2, the updated short version - thanks to Terry especially for his feedback.