Zoe Williams Interview

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DOODLER FOR HIRE by Panther

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WriteWords talks to Zoe Williams, columnist and feature writer for the Guardian

Tell us all about your writing background- what you’ve written, what you’re currently writing

This morning, I wrote something about David Beckham. I covered 1500 words on the first time I read that his left foot defied the laws of physics, and then a sub-editor got back to me and said, apparently, it was his right foot. I was all for just doing a find’n’replace from left to right, but that seemed too cheeky, so I had to sit on it for four hours to pretend I was thinking, and then do a find’n’replace.
In a minute, I’m gonna start a column on the pro-choice meeting that’s happening in the House of Lords in a couple of days’ time. To be honest, I don’t think the right to abortion is under any threat in this country, but I do think there are some nasty minded trends occurring in popular culture (mealy-mouthed inferences that it’s immoral), and I’m keen to defend the pro-choice position, even if it does make me sound incredibly dated and Eighties.

Other work besides writing; ie. Editing, dramaturgy, tutoring etc

None. I would like to write a novel, but I can’t be arsed. I have embarked before on trying to turn a recipe book into a film, but that was just really hard. I realise that these ideas are, still, writing. So I refer back to my original answer, none.

How did you start writing?

People always write, don’t they? Everyone grows up writing, writers are just the people who don’t stop. I’ll tell you what, as well – everywhere you ever go to interview someone, whether it’s in a Miss World contest or… I don’t know, insert something intellectual here… if you spend enough time with people, they’ll say “I wanted to/ am intending to/ probably might think about &c &c doing some writing.” Everybody knows they can do it; I think a gross proportion of them are right, I’m only glad that they’ll never get round to it. It’s not like long-jump, where only a very few people can do it, and the best are obviously the best. Everybody can write, and everybody’s writing is somebody else’s cup of tea. I can only make a living out of it because other people lack the application. Or the ego. Or they are too busy.

Who are your favourite writers and why?

Who are your favourite writers/influences and why?
On this particular day, I have fallen in love with the work of Chris Bachelder, who’s this American guy writing new wave socialist comic fiction. Har Har! That’ll put you off him. I intend to keep him entirely to myself.

How did you get your first agent/ commission/publication?

I think I was working as a secretary/ assistant at the Evening Standard, and they let me interview the actor James Frayn who, frankly, fed me a load of blarney (“You either grow into your dream or you grow out of them” “Work like you’re not getting paid, love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like there’s no-one watching”) and made it impossible for me to write a halfway decent piece; it was purely because I only had 300 words to fill that they ran it at all. If I’d never got another piece, I would have blamed that entirely on him. I would have had to grow out of my dreams, and it would have been all his fault.

What's the worst thing about writing?

Oh, you know, sometimes everything that comes out of your head is just horrible, but you’re in a rush and you’re not a perfectionist at the best of times, so you just send it in, and they come back to you 17 times with changes because they know it’s shit but they can’t put their finger on why, and 17 times later, it’s just as bad as it was in the first place, but it’s taken 17 times as long.

And the best?

This sounds awful, but I make myself laugh out loud. When I still worked in an office, the guy sitting next to me said the last person he’d worked with who’d done that had had a nervous breakdown.

A longer version of this interview is available to WriteWords Full and Community Members.
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Comments by other Members

Myrtle at 17:06 on 17 July 2006 Report this post

I also make myself laugh out loud, and am not half as funny. Enjoyed this interview, thanks.

Myrtle