First Ark to Alpha Centauri 2 – The True Price of Immortality by A Ahad

This sequel to First Ark to Alpha Centauri deals with the continuing voyage of an interstellar 'ark' ship journeying between the Earth and our nearest star, Alpha Centauri. The Centauri Princess is a huge vessel some twelve miles long containing a miniature 'world' of forests, rivers, towns and roads and is expected to be on her voyage for 50,000 years. In this story, the Princess is found to be running low on fuel and a mining expedition to a nearby planetoid discovers evidence of previous inhabitants, not all of whom have left.

The concept of an 'ark ship' is well established in the science fiction genre and in attempting to describe such a vessel Ahad is taking on some fierce competition. The 'Culture' novels of Iain Banks include the phenomenal 'GSVs' (General Service Vehicles) and Peter Hamilton describes vast self-aware communities in his Night's Dawn Trilogy and related works. So, it is not a task to be taken on lightly and the engineering, physiological and psychological issues are monumental. You might be reassured then, to discover that the author is apparently an experienced scientist who defined the eponymous 'Ahad radius' of the Sun, the distance from our star at which its light is no brighter than any other star in the sky.

It is with some regret then that I must say I was terribly disappointed with this novel.

There is a pervading naivety to the entire work. The written English itself is that of an inexperienced author but, since English is almost certainly Ahad's second language, it's a little churlish to criticise this aspect. Less excusable is the poor characterisation, the weak plot line and the at times laughable dialogue. Science fiction isn't known for being strong in these areas but these failings are usually balanced by technical details and when dealing with this particular subject there is plenty of science to consider. Again, Ahad fails to deliver; for the most part the technical elements of the ship and its operation are broad generalisations while at other times the narrative lurches off into detailed examination of the most unimportant elements. An entire page is devoted to describing an air vent, including precise dimensions, while vital concepts such as power generation are relegated to vague references to nuclear fission.

Even disregarding these literary issues the Centauri Princess does not hang together as a realistic vessel. Ahad describes Utopia, the 'residential metropolis' of the Princess as being 4 miles wide yet later reveals the entire population of the vessel to be merely 3000 persons, half of whom are children (Oxford, UK, is roughly 4 miles in diameter, much of which is open space, and has a population of 150,000). Characters drive cars similar to those found on the roads of today (albeit electric) and housing is as complex and diverse as found in the UK. Conversely, other more obvious elements seem entirely missing. There does not appear to be any form of law enforcement, the political structure is less complex than that of my local primary school and it seems that there are merely two or three engineers capable of running the ships systems, one of whom has to be reminded by his wife to check the nuclear fuel.

The naivety of the narrative extends also to human interactions. Ahad describes how one Chinese engineer is 'mocked' for his 'grammatical mistakes. Something I might expect in a school playground, not on the ruling council of a starship 2000 years from now. Later, the commander of the mining vessel is amused when he hears the word 'queen' as 'queer'. These are not humourous events but presented as realistic behaviours, expectable and normal.

The plot is, perhaps predictably, equally shallow but would be acceptable in another author who is able to provide realistic situations, characters and dialogue. I’ll just say that the bad guys are found in 'coffin-shaped' containers in the basement of an old building and have a penchant for blood.

I have tried, really tried, to find positive aspects to the work but have failed. The style and nature of the narrative made it hard to read with any fluidity and never has a review been as much a chore as this one.
If the idea of an ark in space appeals to you, I can only recommend that you read something else, anything else, other than First Ark to Alpha Centauri 2.

Jon

Dear Jon,
I thank you for your detailed review of my second book. I am sorry it didn't thrill you like I hoped and I appreciate the feedback you have given. I am still learning and writing is an absolute passion of mine so I will work even harder on my 3rd book.

Kind regards
A. Ahad

<Added>

Part of the issue is you have only read the sequel (Book 2), without having read Book 1 in the series, so through no fault of yours, you had been thrown straight into the deep end of what is a complex and technically demanding subject, as you righly point out.
Power generation using nuclear fission and all the basic infrastructure of the ark and how it hangs together, was covered to some detail in my first book. As for Utopia being a 4 mile wide city with a widely scattered small town community, well how can you possibly compare it with an Earth-based city like Oxford? We are talking about two entirely different ball games here.
Oxford is scattered on a relatively flat surface... whereas Utopia is laced around the curved interior wall of a 7 mile wide giant cylinder, 2000 years in the future on its way out to the stars.

As this is strictly a work of fiction, I believe I was entitled to some degree of 'artistic licence'. A small town population of 3,000 people creates the perfect ambience for a 'lonely' community existence, totally isolated in the middle of nowhere, thousands of years and trillions of miles away from any other place. Where they have to huddle together amongst one another to fight off all these nightmares and alien incursions from the celestial dark. Had there been a population size of 150,000, I don't believe the loneliness factor would have been half as compelling to add spice to the horror setting in the first book.
The livelihood control issues, like law enforcement and the political structure you were referring to, were again covered in my first book - even down to the type of currency and economic structure in place inside the ark.

There are many problems with this book. Let's start with the fact that this is book 2. if you are going assume everyone knows stuff from book one when they read book 2, you are going to have to say that, like in a prologue as well as summary of events that came before, otherwise, you will have to work in the the plot. You didn't do either of those.

Despite the author's comments here, no matter the science, or lack there of, the fact the book reads like an unedited first draft and there is a distinct lack of craft showing. This book should have never been published.

Space Arks are enormously difficult to write about. He would be best served reading Arthur C Clarke's RAMA books or a Ringworld novel to get a feel for how such things should be.

This book was published by a company with a bad reputation in the publishing world. The books are over priced by at least $5.00 or more. The books also lack editing which most traditional publishers provide.

Please see the following page:

http://www.anotherealm.com/prededitors/pebp.htm and look for PUBLISH AMERICA

Other sites to look at include:

http://www.wizardessbooks.com/html/PA_stories.htm
http://www.useless-knowledge.com/1234/aug/article390.html
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=115
http://critters.critique.org/sting/
http://www.freewebs.com/pozkin/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PublishAmerica
http://www.steelypips.org/miscellany/publishamerica.html
http://www.anotherealm.com/prededitors/warnpa05.htm
http://www.mindsightseries.com/cgi-bin/discus/discus.cgi
http://www.consumeraffairs.com/news04/2005/publish.html