My weekend would not have been seriously deficient had it not included the image of a dance that warmed Len Goodman's willy.

That said- They're OFF and Dancing. My money's on Nanci Oil to fall at the first fence tonight.

STRICTLY STAKES - 2011

6-1
Chelsee - Posture beats pronunciation every time
Pasha - New boy does good

10-1
Edwina - Game but needy
Vincente- Best Latin dancer. Droll

9-1
Audley - Graceful gentle giant. Best boxer.
Nathalie- Tall, too thin but good choreographer

6-1
Alex - May be better than Bleakley
James - Better dancer than choreographer

7-1
Dan - Topspin Lobb gets the point
Katya - Tough top pro

8-1
Lulu - Doesn’t trust the Coleman. Nutty - no slack
Brendan - doh re ME fa soh la te doh

2-1
Holly - Golightly goes well
Artem - Could be two in a row

7-1
Rory - Who do I want to be today?
Erin - Feisty chatterbox. Good choreographer

4-1
Robbie - Virgin dancer. Dark Horse. Toothsome
Ola - Best choreographer. Best partner

3-1
Anita - May or May not. Ballroom not Latin
Robin - Reliable motivator

6-4
Jason - Donovan – Mellow Fellow – but wants to win
Kristina- Too hot to handle but cool choreographer

4-6
Nanci - With the non-laughing face. 1st to go?
Anton - Silly arse smile hides a real pro

6-4
Harry - McFly Me To The Moon. May win despite Aliona
Aliona - Strong dancer. Weak partner

5-1
Russell - Stargazer, trailblazer – “to boldly camp as no man has camped before”
Flavia - Best dancer. Sexiest Lady. Good choreographer.

Enjoy

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Artem - Could be two in a row

Do you mean wins or girlfriends?

And remind me who Robbie is again.