Avatar sucks: the bambification of an aboriginal narrative. A sentimentalised pastiche of a Native American stereotype. The Na’vi sound like Hollywindians and worship an Earth-mother who looks like a fibre-optic willow tree spiritually reified by tinsellated dandelion-seed-like Christmas tree baubles that slo-mo around looking for some dumb, blue, 9 foot schmuck to intone vapid inanities about them. If this stuff wasn’t so peurile it would be insulting – to its plagiarized source material and its bespectacled watcher victims. 3-D: Dire, Dumb and Daft.

Expenditure bigger than the economy of a medium-sized state and an army of technical wizards marginally less numerous than the population of New Jersey contrive to produce absolutely startling, mind-boggling, sometimes adrenaline-rushing visuals: bereft of resonance, devoid of allusion, mind-numbingly literal. What you see is what you get: technically dazzling; aesthetically dead.

The political and moral tone of this tosh makes the white-hat, black-hat westerns of yore acquire a Chomskyan depth. A caricature Nazi-cool, testosterone-fuelled General of the testicle-grabbing school of hearts-and-minds garnering is of course bent on Na’vi-cide and is shocked that Sigourney Weaver’s wimpy scientists are not awed by his adumbration of the gobsmackingly bleedin’ obvious necessity to destroy this new planet with the same rigorous military/industrial efficiency they achieved on Earth. One down, one to go. Genocide rules OK. “We’ll meet again…don’t know where…don’t know when…..”

The future of movies? Yeah: in the same way as the Burj Dubai building is the future of human scale, low-cost social housing.

Avatar is a slot-machine movie: unpredictable in an utterly predictable way: like a computer game with state of the art graphics and absolutely nothing else. Gaudy and flashy, with a Strictly Come Dancing glitteriness. Any fool can play as well as any other – no skill, no insight, no mental effort required. Breathtaking and banal; thrilling and trivial. Masterfully artless and witless. Guaranteed a butt-full of Oscars.

I'm glad you said it sucks. I haven't seen it, but I thought it looked like it sucked!

Cath

technically dazzling; aesthetically dead

I think that's a fair comment. If it wasn't for the affects (which really are very dazzling), then it wouldn't be a terrific or original film. I enjoyed it, but only as a visual spectacle, no pun intended.

JB

Thanks guys..

It's sort of comforting that the hype may not rule everywhere. KO.

Z

Avatar doesn't suck. You suck! (for saying it sucks) ;P

Believe me, it sucks! Never seen such a load of derivative, cliched rubbish in my life.

But that's all we want sometimes. When it comes to escapism, sometimes the best stories are the ones re-told in new ways.

If you want off the wall originality without cliches in films, you should probably stick with art-house stuff and film festival works by newbies.

The visual aspect of Avatar is something else. It's technically brilliant, as well as groundbreaking. I mean, it raises an interesting question over what can happen with the cinematic form and where the future of film might take us. I thought in light of that the story had to remain kind of simple, because a complicated plot may have proved hard to follow, even distracting. Yes, the story is an old one, even archetypal (some would say hackneyed), but at least Hollywood wasn't beating its chest a la 2012, about the saintly virtue of America. The theme is actually topical, when it comes to rape of resources and ruination of the natural enviroment. Sure, Avatar is pure popcorn, but then it never aspired to be anything else, never set out with any other aim other than to entertain. You may not like it, and I can understand why, but can one really judge it so severely against an objective it never had?

JB

Exactly. That's the thing about movies like these. You go in to watch them knowing full well what to expect. I thought the story was pretty good, considering it was a film made for it's advances in 3D. Addmittedly the dialog was cringe worthy awful, but I love a story with a happy ending and the theme made me feel good.

You are really going to hate me for this, but I can't wait to see 2012! I'm not going to see it for the story at all. I'm purely going for the disaster movie element. I love world destruction movies. The special effects are always phenomenal. I would wear earplugs, so that I don't have to hear any bad dialog, but then I wouldn't be able to hear the music and crashings and bashings

I'll tell you one high tech movie I really hated. 'Knowing' That film was stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid! I'll tell you why I think it was stupid, if you really want to know. lol

I slated 2012 in a published review. But again, a visually stunning experience. My question was honest. I'm interested to see what others think about it.

I can't handle Nicholas Cage, so I don't want to know about Knowing!

JB

I loved Avatar - visually it was glorious. I admit the Leona Lewis song prompted an instant cringe and flee response and the story may not have been groundbreaking but it held my interest and I think avoided the obvious.

I didn't think the dialogue was that bad - there are places when Jake is meant to sound gauche because culturally he is way out of his depth - a subtlety there?

the Leona Lewis song prompted an instant cringe and flee response

Now that's what they should be using against the Taliban

I don't remember the Leona Lewis song in the movie. In which part? And which Leona Lewis song was it?

It was the closing credits song - not for me but then I was never that big on 'My heart will go on' either. Apologies to all LL fans out there

Hay, don't apologise. You like what you like. You hate what you hate. Everyone's entitled... and all that.

Oh yeah, I remember the song during the credits now. I liked it, but probably only because I like the song itself