So the Eddie The Eagle of dance has crashed and burned. Samurai Sergeant has chosen dancing death with honour, rather than fall into the hands of his increasing legion of enemies. And there is no more potent enemy than the fickle British public who with the curious self-hatred that often defines them, having loved too much, save their deepest hostility for their own exaggerated heroes. I guess a surreal BBC press conference with Paxo stuffing his old mate with mock accusations of cowardice in the face of the Cha Cha; pusillanimity before the Paso Doble; and surrender to the mortal threat of the Salsa, is more seemly, more English, than a televised disembowelment. Though if we had a chance to vote for a few ritual suicides the phones would run hot enough to melt. It is a priori that top of this self-immolation list of people trying to ride Jonjo’s elegant coat-tails for a bit of self-publicity would be Mambo Mandy the aspirant Lord of the Dance. Macabre.

John Sergeant is clearly the only sane person left on Planet Strictly where the relative merits of a Whisky Waltz or a Tantric Tango are weighed with all the solemnity of a UN resolution on world peace. To paraphrase Bill Shankly “some people appear to think Strictly Come Dancing is a matter of life and death – it is in fact far more important than that.” Ballroom dancing has superceded Sport as the ‘conduct of war by other means’.

Picture the scene: this Saturday night Jonjo and Kristy are waiting, bouncing bums at the ready, to go in for their final low level run before the judges’ aptly named Pom Pom guns. Last words of encouragement are sent to the daring pair from the desperate, unfit, two-left footed British public – “go on you two, you’re our last chance to bust those damned know-alls”

And what better tune for the plucky Jonjo and Kristy to end with than the Dambusters March: after all Jonjo has made the March all his own – whatever the music.

Da da da da dada da da, da da da da dada da da…………………

“Roger, Wilco. Calling Tango Charlie and Fox-Trot leader………..we’re going in! This is Jonjo Jive Five signing off. Over.” …………………………………………………………………………..
………………………………….silence.

You wish.

(Zettel

I blame you, Zettel, for this. You've been gunning for him to go these last few weeks. Now you can sit back and enjoy your high art, but you've lost touch with what we do best: bumbling incompetence. My phone bill is bloated; but will you give me my money back, now that all those hours of redial mean nothing?

Mea culpa Rainy - like John's dancing, my pieces were just a bit of fun.

Not sure what the prose equivalent of doggerel is - but my 'high art' was never more than that. There's something apt about the fact that the 'event' that is Strictly Dumb Prancing has launched a million alliterations - second only to the pun as the last refuge of the imaginatively challenged - moi aussi.

Jonjo sort of seems to have taken a position close to what I suggested.

Ever since I discovered how much they charge to keep you on line as long as possible to enter 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' I've reckoned phoning any TV programme is a bit of a mugs game - so welcome to club on that one.

Without the inspiration of Jonjo 'Guy Gibson's self-sacrifice, who can believe we would have beaten Germany 2 - 1 yesterday?

I just hope someone looks after the dog with the racist name now his master is missing presumed lost over Planet Strictly.

"We'll dance again, don't know where, don't know when, but I know we'll dance again some sunny day........................"

tally ho!

Z

I watched Newsnight last night so i could see Paxo stuffing Sargeant, but I have to say that although Jeremy seemed to be having a great deal of fun at Sergeant's expense, Sergeant was taking it all in good humour.
It was Sergeant's decision to do the two step down, as he rightly surmised the joke had gone far enough - and anyway, he's got a holiday booked in two weeks time, so he wouldn't be around for the final if he'd got that far.
It was fun while it lasted, but I don't think the Beeb should make a big thing of it.


- NaomiM

I find this tone of levity misplaced

You don't appreciate what a gap this leaves in my Saturday evening or that I may now occasionally be required to cook tea.

I am devastated - after the valedictory waltz - well I just don't know what is to become of us all.

X factor looms - please - no - anything but that!

Sarah

<Added>

"Mambo Mandy the aspirant Lord of the Dance Macabre."

Truly terrifying!

Much as I love the old toad, Sargeant, I couldn't watch the programme itself because old Brucie missing his cues was just too much to bear.
I assumed one of them would drop dead of a heart attack before the end of the series and my money was on Sergeant. All in all, probably a good thing he gave up when he did.


- NaomiM

I have been as guilty as anyone else of sentimentalising the British public. Have they really been voting because of the the 'entertainment value' of the dashing white Sergeant? Or in the end was this not in fact a case of schadenfreude TV where everyone wanted Jonjo to go on so they could enjoy his humiliation for one more week.

IF that was the motivation then better not get Grandy Mandy on - they'll take him right through to the final rather than give up on taking the p**s.

I feel ashamed at such unworthy thoughts. Must wash my mouth out..........

It's fortunate nothing important was happening in the world this week.

Z

Lol, Zettle.

You need to Zettel down, thing about something else, man!

But while we're on the subject, yes, I'm sure you are right. There's the doublefreude of John's humiliation coupled with the frustration of the contestants who are trying their hearts out to win on merit. Treble, if you count the judges. Enough suffering to make millions happy.

Just reread your original (brilliant) post, and I'd missed the dance puns in the RAF radio sequence at the end. So, here's credit for those too. In the beginning was the pun.

good homes-pun advice rainy - I'm glad to report I'm feeling a bit more zettled about things now.

Z

It's fortunate nothing important was happening in the world this week.

Wasn't it? Fortunate I mean

Loved the tango foxtrot puns!

Sarah