The Stop-Start Challenge

Write a piece of prose, 100 – 150 words in length, within the following constraints:

• Each word must begin with the last letter of the preceding word.
• No more than two proper nouns.
• The first and last letters of the piece must be the same

The more difficult the opening word, the greater the kudos.

I found it a much harder task than I thought it would be. Here’s my offering:


Incredibly, you understood difficult theorems, surprising Gloria, and Donald. ‘Don’t tell lies,’ said Donald, ‘difficult theorems send dim minds spinning.’ ‘Gratuitous shit!’ the expositor replied. ‘Don’t tergiversate. Even new women, natural leaders, speak kindly, you understand.’ Donald didn’t trust this speech. He exited, desperate, entreating Gloria.

Alarming geriatric codgers, smiling gaily, you upset terribly your rough hewn neighbours. So obliviously you uttered deliberative, elemental logic, causing great tension. ‘No! Only you underestimate existential logic,’ cried distant, terrified Donald. ‘Desist!’ This speech horrified. Despairing grievously, you undertook kind declarations.

So one’s soul lightened. Decisively you uplifted Donald’s spirit. ‘There. Easy!’ you uttered, deferring gladly. ‘You understand!’ declared Donald delightedly. ‘Yes! Surrender reason. Nothing simplistic. Convert to one’s singular, rational locus; some endearing gruff fellow writing graffiti’.

Okay , here's my offering.

Some envy your ritual laughter, recalcitrant truancy, your regal sloppiness.
Silently, you unleashed desires. Strange emotions spoke eternal lies. Surprised!
Don’t tears spread debased, diabolical laments? Speech hides sour reasons, spoken not told. Deny your reactions, sprinkle enjoyment to our rhetorical lines. Survey your resources, share eager rebellion – not to oust the enemy – yet they yearn no obligation. Neither return nominated. Die every year. Replenish his strength, his soul.
Let this sermon neglect that thought. Turn not the eye except that the elf forgets some elicit talk. Kings shall let talisman number rebellious soldiers. Send down no ominous sacrament, that tells some evil, ‘Look kindly. You unwakened demons.’

Hope I haven't broken too many of the rules

John

<Added>

Oops. Just spotted the first mistake.

In the first line it needs to read your regal 'laziness'.

John

Excellent! Doesn't it make for strange writing, though? - almost biblical. You managed yours without proper nouns which defintely wins bonus points. I wonder if it's possible to write in a more mundane style within the rules. But even though yours and mine read like the ravings of obscure prophets I find them also very funny. I hope some others have a go.

Richard.

Richard
I thought the piece had a mock-Shakespearean feel/style to it. It has that sort of rhytmic, almost poetic flow (not that I know anything about poetry).
I wonder if it's the restricted vocabulay that is available to you that gives the piece that different feel?
I'm not sure how close you could get to 'normal writing' (whatever that means) within your rules! But worth a try.
As you say, harder to write than it looks at first glance!
Regards
John

Windows steam, mist trails sleepily, yawning glades snowed deep, penitent trees show winter’s stiff frost. The endless silence echoes softly.

Yet the evening goes slow. Weary youngsters sleep peacefully yearning greater rewards. Sozzled dad, dreaming grand designs, slumped down napping, grandad drinks. So often nasty, yet today your relatives sit together, restful, laughing, giggles soothing generations. Silent teenagers sulking grumpily, you urge entertainment – television, not tedious sporting games! Stale Elizabeth’s speech, her Royal lectures, so obvious, so openly yawn.

Now we enjoy your rustic Christmas, sat together round decorations, singing, grinning, giving great treats so overpriced. Don’t try your ridiculous socks!

Soon nighttime enters smoothly. You utter rousing goodnights – sleep peacefully. Yule ends swift tomorrow.

Jimbo

Brilliant!!

John

Jimbob .. absolutely brilliant. I have been battling on and off with my attempt for a while discarding it all.. as it simply sounds like some strange cultish back of beyond lost language. YOurs makes sense !!
Ellie .... and seasonal too

Jimbob, Another raving fan here! Very, very clever. I'm really intrigued by the way the constraints influence the style. There's poetry, humour but also a solemnity. Fascinating!

Ellena - please persist - and others too. It is a difficult thing to do but I'd love to read more pieces that manage to be whimsical and portentous at the same time. Maybe we could, in time, get together an anthology of WW challenge pieces!

Richard.

Thanks John, Ellie, Richard. It's an immensely frustrating exercise - but I imagine it's extremely good at instilling linguistic discipline. Feels like running with very heavy shoes on. James

So often nowadays selfish hateful louts, swear rude expletives, sometimes surrounding grannies ‘So **** off f***ing gozo!’ often now we expect to hear.

Right, try your daring, go over, regale every yob – be kind, don’t obviously read Darwin nor read Dawkins, serenade every yob by yodelling ghastly Yiddish songs. Scientific controlled data asserts that terrified during gratuitous serenading, ghastly yobs succumb – ‘Blimey’ you utter! ‘So-long garrulous scum, masquerading, gyrating going ga-ga and drunkenly yodelling gratuitous senseless silliness. So-long gozos!’



<Added>

oops - any street cred is now down to zero again - damn - 'try your daring' will have to be revised ;o/

<Added>

'asserts' is also wrong b4 anyone points it out - lol

<Added>

I think I'll start again!

How wonderful - looks superb. Brilliant. That .....

oh bugger it. well done. must have taken you ages!

Sue

Bluesky - I somehow missed your contribution - the auto-prompt came only with Sue's comment.

Despite your self-confessed glitches I laughed until I ached. Is it only me that finds the pieces that emerge from this exercise truly funny? In fact, even the addenda were hilarious. I think it's the sense of desperation that makes me howl. Having wrestled with my own effort, I know the feeling all too well!

Many, many thanks - you brightened my day very considerably! I hope some others will have a go.

Richard.

So funny though Andrew! Like Ellie I've started this at least a dozen times and given up in despair and frustration. Is that why the exercise is called 'starts and stops'?

Thank you Sue, Richard and Nell, however long I spent at it, it obviously wasn't long enough - three errors at least much to my embarrassment! - but I would correct Yiddish songs to Yiddish homilies, and sort out the others too eventually, given more time. Was fun doing it.

Andrew )

I'd like to offer my aplogies for what follows, but it's my best shot.


Oh how wicked! Deadly yogurt, tainted, dark, kala-azar riddled despite efforts started desperately yesterday. Young gnats (sand-dwellers), savage entities, strike executives sleeping goggle-eyed down near rivers. Spleens swell, livers split, toxic creatures spread. Damp protozoa accumulate. Enteritis, swamp-fever. Recovery? You’ll linger, rarely yawning, groaning grossly, yellow wens suppurating. Grim men, nervous, shaking, gabble endlessly. You utter revengeful laments spitefully, your red dress shining, gilt threaded, dangerous. Silver rings sparkle enticingly, yellow waves spiral loosely. You useless slut! Top precautions seem meaningless. Sad doctor regrets sarcasm, mentally yielding, growing greyer. Right. Thermometer ready. Yachts sail, leaving ghastly yellow wasteland. Defunct Tobago!

<Added>

Sorry Tobagoans, I didn't mean it.