I also thinks it's a woman. Something about the phrases He began to try to fight on two levels and Fear began to broadcast from his loins.
But what do I know!!
John

The trouble with this game is that we're all trying to be too clever. Maybe what we should be doing is to take the writing at face value instead of trying to work out the intentions/deceptions of the author.

Well the last one did cause confusion - it was a man (at least as far as I can tell from his profile!) This next one's a little different:

There were various opinions as to who exactly started the fight. The wife of the Vicar came out as top vote for it was she who first hit the bald-headed man with the banner she held aloft. It seemed not to matter that her banner carried the message PEACE NOT WAR. However this created an uproar and the followers of the bald-headed man, all of whom were supporters of the Invasion of Iraq, retaliated with a hail of words, insults, flying fists and anything that came to hand. Unfortunately all this happened in the middle of the Farmers' Market; so the first missiles were snatched from one of the stalls displaying eggs of the hen and duck varieties. The response was a barrage of home-made cakes, flans, pies and custard tarts. The fight lasted less than three minutes but it was an intense battle and left everyone covered with glory as well as jams, creams, egg yokes, albumen, marmalade and specially-prepared pickled onions. When questioned as to why she had struck the first blow in support of the PEACE MOVEMENT, the Vicar's wife said, "He pinched my bum."

I rather liked the gentle humour in this, but as a fight description it seemed fairly understated, so taking it at face value I'd say it was a woman, unless of course it's a guy trying to fool us all...

I think a woman probably wrote this, the scene is held softly and the attention to any 'damage' is lightly detailed.
The humour speaks of a mind set that is seeing the pointless and silly side of the fight in the first place.
The last line is held back to under line the habitual reflex to defend often seen in men.
The piece felt like a slow stroll along a summer lane with an nice belly laugh at the end!
Yeap, me thinks 'tis a woman...

A tiny voice, no bigger than that of an elf, tells me that this piece may well have been penned by an old friend; the sly humour and obsession with things culinary seem to point in that direction. I await the truth with interest..............

Mike

A woman methinks too!

Ellie

Yes, too much attention to jam and other missiles to be a man.

Becca .. you make me laugh .. I loved that ..Jam and other Missiles! sounds like a wonderful title..

Ellie..

If it is a woman she has a great sense of humour... so I suspect it must be a man. How's that for chauvenism?

Andrew
That's dangerous talk...
John

Then I guess it must be you John! A ;o)

Nope - not me!
John

A woman...actually because of its warm defocussed general melee...it is a battle not a fight..but also a baking event...sort of Jackson Pollock meets Delia Smith with overtones (and this clinches it for me) of Beryl Cook.

rgds
John

..David please put us out of our misery.. dying to find out.

Ellie..