Hi to all you RLG'ers - and all those of you who have yet to put your bathers on and jump in and join us.

Due to circumstances beyond our control we are looking for a volunteer. Actually it's because Swandale is unable to be with us at the moment and, therefore, can't provide us with the line for August.

So we have a vacancy - and we're looking for someone to fill said post! If you fancy providing the line for August then let me or Dee know. Any one can apply, even ... maybe not. No names, no pack drills (whatever that means.)

In the event of more than one application being received the decision will be made by a panel of local experts (Dee and me) based on the size of the accompanying cheque, the quality of the wine or - as a tie-breaker - the person who best completes the sentence

I should provide the August RLG line because........

in less that eight words.

We're waiting.

jumbo and Dee

Don't be shy!

Hi Jumbo & Dee,

I wouldn't mind providing the line for August. I would not be offended if someone else was picked though.

(Damn that’s over eight words, am I disqualified already?)

Sam

Wow! A volunteer!

Well done, Sam! Stay right there. Don't move!

All the best

jumbo

ps Sorry, Sam, there must be something wrong with the post, the cheque hasn't arrived yet!

And where's my wine???

dee

I have only just spotted this so Sam has the vote but here are the eight words you asked for

Dee, your Champagne is chilling, awaiting your arrival.




take care

david

Hey thanks David.

Sod the line... I'll be right there!

Dee

Hang on a minute. Hasn't someone forgotten something (someone)?

me me me ... tch!

Jumbo,

You're joking, sorry about that. I attached the cheque to my nearest carrier pigeon, with very specific instructions. He must be on his way I guess.

So does Sam get the job then? Better tell him quick so he can get started on the preparations and routine...I mean there's the special lowfat, no-booze diet, the daily 10 mile runs, regular colonic irrigation and, of course, staying celibate for at least 5 days beforehand...
All designed to get yer creative juices in tip-top shape for the big day, Sam, no worries.
Well done to you for voulnteering!
x
tc

w-w-what? No booze - how?

Running 10 miles in a single day, is that safe? What do I drink when I get home after running all that way. I'm bound to be thirsty, and no one can deny the restorative effects of a can or three of beer.

The celibacy bits okay - I'm married, and colonic irrigation oh what the hell. I might find that key I swallowed for a dare when I was ten.

I just hope you realise what such a regime could do to me, Although if picked I will struggle through somehow... For the cause!

Sam

I might find that key I swallowed for a dare when I was ten.

TeeHee! Atta boy, that's the spirit..oh, sorry forgot, you're not allowed any until Aug 1st. Tap water? Prune juice?
x
tc

I actually quite like prune juice. The only problem is that it is definitely a solitary pleasure, due to its interesting digestive effects. It should most probably be sold with some of that black and yellow Police zone exclusion tape, to avoid anyone getting upset.

I wonder if they do a prune juice liquor (your right that does sound disgusting, but I getting desperate!)

Sam

<Added>

you're, not your!

I'm not I

Okay, that's enough, you two. I leave you alone for a couple of hours and this is how you behave.

Sam, we give up. You've got the job. Report for duty at 11.59pm on the 31st of July with said line prepared, polished and properly punctuated.

tc, go to your room and write out 100 times ... oh, I don't know, anything sensible would be an improvement on this driffle.

So congrats, Sam. You are Miss/Mrs/Ms/Mr (Delete which not applicable)August 2004, and I look forward to working with you in the future. April 2007, perhaps.

All the best.

jumbo