'Even at the age of eight, the idea of chivalry hadn't completely escaped me. Though I didn't know the word, I knew it would be bad to take advantage of a damsel in distress. So, I gave her my hanky and helped her up. I was in top heaven…’

This has to be all wishful thinking by a girl, imagining that an 8 year old boy would ever, in a million years, think like this! ;)
Although he may offer her a hanky, it would be covered in snot and mud, and would just to offer it to shut her up, as like as not.

Richmal Crompton was a woman writer who could really get into the mind of an eight year old boy, although she did not write in the first person, you felt you were really inside the heard of William. I became William when I read her books, and still do.
Andrew ;)

I have decided that it is a woman trying the old double bluff bit and I even hazard a guess as to whom but I have no intention of saying so and making myself look a complete idiot by getting it wrong

BlueSky3D, this doesn't look to me like the words of an 8 year old either. But, more like an adult bloke's memory of when he was 8.

So, Olebut, who d'ya think it is? She'll only say no if it's not her.

Definitely mixed messages here, hanky is a womans word, and I haven't met a woman yet who eats aniseed balls."Top heaven", well maybe I've been too long out of the UK, sounds like a mans phrase."Marias talking to moron" definitely a girls playground jibe.
A guess - written by a woman.

No-one of a male persuasion would ever utter the words "I was in top heaven".

But then, maybe that's the writer's point. A man writing about a boy's experience from a female point of view. Oooooooh, the mind games!

I can't tell at all if it's a man or a woman, which is all to the good in the writing, therefore I'd say it was a woman because it's confident about venturing into the mind of a boy, which of course a man writer would be as well. It is true that you can often tell the difference between male and female writing because the genders tend to focus on different aspects of the same thing. I'll go for a woman.

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Our esteemed genderless author has graciously passed me the girl Maria's take on the same incident. Just to confuse you more......here it is.

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"Hi I'm Philip Henshall. Remember me?" And it all came back. Flooding back. That morning when I'd smacked him in the playground. It all started with a silly game of kiss chase. There was no way I was going to get caught by any of those boys. Simon was the only one I thought half decent. But then it happened. I slipped on a squashed donought that someone had thrown away and scraped my knee on the tarmac. It started bleeding and was really painful, when this half-wit, Philip, grabbed me from behind and wanted to kiss me. Yuck. He was the class moron. The ugly boy. The smelly one. My knee really, really hurt. So, there was no way that I could get up and run off. There was only one thing for it. I put on the waterworks. He couldn't say sorry fast enough. I just wanted him to go away, but oh no, he was going to be the hero. He helped me up and then took out this really slimey looking rag from his pocket. And then, he tried to wipe it across my eyes. If I hadn't been in so much pain, I think I would have kicked him. And then to make it worse, some of the girls in my class saw me with him and started teasing me. They thought I'd kissed him. As if I would do something so yuck. Not with moron. I stood there speechless and gave them an angry scowl. I was so angry. It was a long time ago. But, I still remember just how angry I was. And really embarrassed. They thought I'd kissed MORON! Smelly MORON! And then the stupid idiot starts shouting at them. "Oy! I'm not a moron! I'm her boyfriend!" I wanted to say, "No you're not! you're a big fat liar!" Before I could though, he tried to kiss me. But then, he saw how angry I was and chickened out. So I pushed him as hard as I could. "You smell! Go away!" But, he didn't go away, and he carried on smelling all through junior school. And now here he is smiling at me, filthy rich, but still a dork. Should have known this old school reunion was a bad idea.

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I thought you were gonna end up marrying the dork!

Andrew )

I think the writer is male.

Te aniseed balls from the first piece, a female would hope that a male remembered her hair, or dress or something, however, a male would really recall something seemingly less significant.

Even though the second piece is written from the female POV, I still believe it to be a he.

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OK Time to move on to another one. Would the owner of the last two like to step forward? (no obligation)!

Here it is:

Englishmen Englishmen, unlike the romantic Italians, are paranoid neurotics They simply go soppy and scatty about the very idea of any matter of the heart Why! A lady only has to send a letter With a flower, or a leaf, pressed neat between pages This buys the simple Englishman’s loyalty for ages But say what you like, if you have to choose between the two One Englishman, good and true, May be worth a whole legion of Romans Unless of course, you have had a few drinks too many, In which case, better go for the latter Then, in the morning , it won’t matter

OK guys. I hold my hand up high. The Maria and Philip old school reunion saga was written by me.

And I am most definitely a woman.

Most of you got this.

Can't help thinking though that if I'd put Maria's POV first then, then I think most of you would have thought I was a man. Could be wrong though.

and as it is confession time I will admit to the first poem

I didn't try to write it other than as me though so you can decide if you were right or not

I think it is a woman!

It reminds me a bit of the style of Jane Austen with her opening lines of Pride and Prejudice...

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

... as if a voice front stage to the audience.
A bloke wouldn't talk like that!