Hi everyone,

throughout my novel i've wanted to express certain noises, without having to narrate them,
eg
ding-dong - doorbell rings
crash! - car gets hit
knock knock! on front door

and one of my sub-plots involves a very noisy dog.

But every time i try to, i decide it looks out of place, more appropriate for kiddies' fiction.

Am i right? My book does have a humourous tone, so i might be able to get away with it more than other genres, but i still don't feel comfortable with it.
Yet it would vary my prose more if i wrote, eg

"Yap, yap, yap!"
Amy drew back the curtains and was confronted with the sight of Buster digging up her roses.

instead of
Amy awoke to the sound of Buster's persistent barking. She drew back the curtains and saw him digging up her roses.

Any views on this appreciated.

Casey

I agree that writing animal noises as if they were speech can look a bit twee in adult fiction, but there is an in-between option which uses the noise as a verb -

Amy was woken by Buster yap-yap-yapping outside. When she opened the curtains saw that he'd excavated half the rosebed.

- or a noun:

The yaps that woke Amy seemed to be coming from outside. When she opened...

Emma

Casey

For what it’s worth, I think U have to be real careful, especially with things like dogs. What purpose does it serve to describe a dog’s actual bark? Only if there is a reason for it should you do it, i.e. the dog starts off as a dog, but then starts talking (I dunno, go with me here. I mean like a spell has been cast on him or sommik!!) Also, you’ll get yourself in all sorts of trouble, once you’ve used yap, bark and raaaaaaar.

The second version, with Buster’s persistent barking is much better for me. The Yap yap yap thing is no more original or helpful in describing what you are doing. I mean where do you go from there? “bark bark” went Buster???

If you’re not careful we’re in Skippy the Bush Kangeroo territory, if you know what I’m saying.

“Buster! Where’s little Johnny?”
“Rrrrerrrrrow! Rerrrrow”
“You mean?”
“Wooooooof, waaaaaarf, woooooof!”

etc

The WORST ever for this is the novel of, I think, Return of the Jedi, or perhaps it was Empire Strikes Back, which I hunted obsessively until I found it in some backwater bookshop when I was a kid (tres excited I can tell thee). Imagine my disappointment when EVERY SINGLE line of R2-D2 was actually written in some f**ked up dialect! Not kidding…

“R2-D2, is that you?” C-3P0 asked nervously.
“REEEEEEEEEEETDitdattblllllllllleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!!”

I am not kidding. It just ruined the entire story. It carried on like that through the whole book and taught me that not all published authors are actually any good! Some of the writing is truly terrible in that book, truly bad.

Sorry, lost it a bit, but you know what I mean right

So, I’d stick with describing only the sounds and noises that really matter, if that makes any sense whatsoever. Then it’ll have more impact. After all we all know what dog’s sound like, and if we don’t for some reason (i.e. we are deaf/partially deaf) the description would be no better anyway, coz it would just read as confusing, I reckon. Could be absolutely wrong tho!!!

EmmaD (WW Guru) is after all far more knowledgable in all this, and I dunno if I did say before Emma, but if not, many miwwions of congrats on TMOL. It is so uplifting/inspirational seeing one of our own doing so goddamn good, I tell ya!

Anyway, hope this is of help Casey, even if to put the wrong view across

Luv

DS
x

Thanks for that, Emma. Twee is a good word and confirms what i was thinking - you've given me another way around it.

Davy,
still LOLing
However, Mr Skyflyer, i do hope you're not implying that animals can't talk. I have two-way conversations with my cat on a daily basis, normally on the subject of food (yeh, i know, i need to get out more and she makes a whole variety of different noises. But, i guess your right, if it isn't essential to the story, is the reader going to be interested in whether it's a yap a bark or a grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Casey

Casey, you're welcome.

Davey, thanks for the congrats.

Emma

Oh yeah, I talk to my cats all the time also, but come on Casey, in English. Per-leese! Cat language is just too hard!

Aaaaaaanyway - I think we understand each other. Just refrain from Buster saying:

"Row! Rat's really rood!" or
"Roo's rat?"

or other Scobby Doo type lines...

Good luck!

EmmaD- no probs! I mean it

Laters all
Luv


DS

What nationality is Buster? In France/ Belgium they write "Woof!" as "Waow!" or "Ouah!" (see Tintin comics for more details).