On the 'what's it like for a boy' thread, some intriguing little differences between men's and women's vocabulary came up. Both were originally pointed out by men and I wondered if WWers had noticed other such, or had comments from opposite genders about it.

a woman would notice that she's got blood on her thighs
a man would notice that he's got blood on his legs

a woman would say 'shampoo the carpet'
a man would say 'clean the carpet'
Does it follow that a woman shampoos her hair, and a man washes it? (Though I must admit that I do the latter.)

Emma

I wrote a short story last year, written from a male POV, in which the opening line was The blood on my jeans is attracting too much attention.

I strongly visualised this blood to be down the front of his thighs, but it didn’t occur to me to write anything other than jeans… and I have no idea why.

Not sure what this contributes to the debate – just thought I’d lob it in.

Dee

Interesting, though. I think I'd do the same. Legs/thighs does imply he's naked, apart from anything else. And in a way it's less immediate - I can imagine the blood seeped into the fibres... Actually, it's a nice example of show-not-tell - if you'd said 'I was wearing jeans and the blood had stained them. Everyone was looking', think how weak that is, compared to what you did write.

Emma

Is this the same thing as when a man says he'll be ready in ten minutes, he actually means ten minutes?

JB

Women go to the "loo" - the silliest word in the language.

Men go to the bog.

Emma,

could you tell me where this thread is, i'd be interested to read it?

I've noticed that i use clothes as a tool for characterisation, much more with women characters than men, probably because as a woman i'm more interested in what the women are wearing! I also mention aftershave, because i love it, but rarely a woman's perfume. I think i need to redress this inequality!

Thanks.

Sammy

Women fake an orgasm. Men say they'll call you.

Lol! Joking aside, it's interesting what we're aware of as different sexes, and it's certainly something to bear in mind while writing. I think some of my male characters are quite feminine and sensitive, and some of the females very pro-active and masculine. I like mixing it up a little. I like it when the girl saves the guy. My male characters are a little stupid, on the whole, and I guess this only reflects my own subliminal view?

JB

I recently had a bad day, felt dowdy, past-it, asked my poor hubby to rate me out of 10. I insisted that he be honest. So he thought long and hard, bless him, and very tentatively gave a figure.
Was i happy with his honesty? No, i sulked that a proper husband wouldn't have to think about it and would always say 10/10, whatever he really thought.

It's the classic 'does my bum look big in this', women ask questions they don't really want the answer to and men can't win either way.It's a good source of humour - and ill-humour!

Sammy

My housemates don't ask me anymore, thank God. I can't help but use the question as an excuse to tell them the exact opposite of what they want to hear.

Them: 'Does this dress look ok?'

Me: 'Yes. I'm sure you'll slim into it'

Them: 'How's my hair looking?'

Me: 'Like you just sepped out of a car crash'.

Yeah, I'm a horror, but I've made the mistake of giving honest advice in the past, and suffered as a result. Firstly, they never listen. If I say they look great, that even God must be gobsmacked, they'll still be in the bathroom half an hour later, and we'll still be late. Making any suggestion of alteration is akin to opening Pandora's Box in this house, so I just content myself with outright sarcasm. What am I - a mirror?

JB

<Added>

I hasten to add that my housemates are equally demonic. They constantly ask me at dinner, lunch whenever 'are you sure you should be eating that?' ect.

Sammy, it's here:

http://www.writewords.org.uk/forum/50_76042.asp

Emma

Thanks, Emma.

First time I ask the classic fishing question, "Do I look OK?" I might get a compliment.

Try "Are you sure I look OK?" and it's always an insult...

Once is never enough?

Sarah

Have you tried this twist:

Which do you prefer, the red or blue dress?
You look fantastic in the blue one.
Does that mean you've never liked me in the red?

or
Well, what do you think, i've had my curls straightened?
Really sexy...
Does that mean you don't find me attractive when i just wash n'go?

!!
Why can't women simply accept compliments and just say 'thank you'

Sammy

Why can't women simply accept compliments and just say 'thank you'

It's one of the great mysteries. It was only when I realised that it was actually rude to the man not to accept a compliment if it was offered that I was able to smile sweetly, suppress my instinct to say 'oh, this old thing, I've always thought it makes me look fat/middle aged/sallow', and say instead 'thank you.'

Anyone else read Deborah Tannen's book You Just Don't Understand? She's a socio-linguist, and it's about the different ways that men and women talk among themselves and to each other. She's very interesting about this kind of thing; her view is that says it's the product of the training women have to level things out among themselves, whereas men among themselves sort out a hierarchy. Sorry, gross over-simplification, which is no doubt going to lead to indignation on all fronts. But it is a fascinating book.

Emma

it's the product of the training women have to level things out among themselves, whereas men among themselves sort out a hierarchy.

Fascinating idea, Emma. It takes us right back to a time when women stayed in the cave and shared the work of nurturing and protecting the children, while the men went out hunting and gathering. It was the strongest, most intelligent man who rose by natural selection to lead the group.

In general, this arrangement lasted until the unsettling period of the two World Wars, when women realised they could do ‘men’s work’. Even then, it took until the sixties and seventies before the balance began to shift noticeably. Think about this – my sister is 59. When she married, just 40 years ago, she had to give up her job because the company didn’t employ married women. This was considered normal at the time. I got married 10 years later, and the question of me giving up my job didn’t arise. Given such a sudden and recent upheaval, it’s no wonder we’re still confused about all sorts of entrenched attitudes. I’ll have to read that book!

Going back to the original question: thank you for the kind comment on my line. Funnily enough, I just realised late last night that I’d used a similar line in TWH when Fynn is being psychically attacked, and I instinctively wrote A dark red stain spread down the front of his thighs, because that scene was written from a female POV.

Think you might be onto something here. We need to be watchful for these subtle differences.

Dee