OK, I have a problem.

I have a strong story, but elapsed time is a lot of years and (following a strong start) there is a passage of almost a decade where all I am doing is detail work - sowing seeds for later plotlines and making the reality credible (not sci-fi, but an author-generated world, so I imagine the problem is far from new).

To cover the ground quickly, I tried a documentary style that would allow me to get to the action as quickly as possible, but it ended up reading like either an excerpt from the old testament or a synopsis of Eastenders.

I am cutting out as much as I possibly can (although an external editor would doubtless be harsher) but it still bores me ... and I wrote it!

There has to be a better way. Any ideas?

Be flippant. I find that if I am flippant about big themes, they seem to be digested by the reader more easily. Rather than set up a huge big deal about a decade passing, just write 'ten years passed' or some such.

It's just an idea, and it may not work for your story, but sometimes a simple approach works wonders.

JB

You could just date the new section, and fill in the gaps bit by bit as backstory.

Or is this telling you that your story should really start when it picks up again after the decade? Backstory's a whole different set of problems, but at least you can break it up and weave it in.

Or have you by any chance got two books here?

But if you really are sowing the seeds for the second half, maybe you need to make more of them, rather than less; it can be really creaky if the filling-in is too perfunctory for its importance in what follows. If it looks like coming out too long, I'd say go with it, and cut later. When you've got the whole thing you'll know what's essential and what isn't much more clearly.

Emma

Emma

Thanks to your advice, I have just rewritten the entire novel as follows:
"Some nastiness occurred, there was much gnashing of teeth."

Actually, not a bad approach, but there is still detail that needs to be worked in ... eg: some people need to be born in order to be able to participate in the book at a later stage. The circumstances are relevant and I hate having to introduce characters with something grim like;

"Bob, Darren's youngest son from his marriage to Bethany before she left him to shack up with Bertrand and orchestrate Darren's ruination, glowered across the table at Joaquim and said, 'He killed my father as sure as shovels is inarticulated earth movers.'"

<Added>

(to waxlyrical)

<Added>

(with a 'k')

Thanks Emma,
I have considered breaking it across more than one, but no matter how I slice and dice, I only have one premise and it all leads to my single ending. (Besides which, I am far from being able to bank on selling a series of books!)
Making more of them rather than less seems like the best approach and it has worked where I have done it. But length is a problem. Previous draft was 123,000 and I have set myself a target way below there (certain that when I reach the happy state of having an editor it will come down even more).
I guess I just have to be more willing to cut and then to make sure the things I do have work...

I see what you mean, and I'm only suggesting that as a basic framework. I tend to use seasons in my first novel to signify the passing of time, but it sounds to me more like you want to set up backstory rather than make a reader aware of a decade passing?

I think you can certainly filter this information in at intervals to give the full picture. Remember you can also have characters 'think' or talk about the story. Like 'he's a bad egg. Still hasn't got over the fact his mother Bethany abandoned him to shack up with Bertrand. And look how that ended. The woman practically orchestrated Darren's ruination!'

etc.

JB

Gaius, I would always say, write what needs to be written, and then see. Any agent would tell you that if a novel's good enough, standard considerations of length stop mattering. But you're only likely to get it that good if you let it be what it needs to be first.

For what it's worth, my novel is 140,000, the new one isn't going to be any shorter, and I've never heard a whisper from agent or any editor that the length was even worthy of comment, let alone concern.

Emma

if a novel's good enough

I think I have both my answer and my aspirational dream...

For what it's worth, my novel is 140,000

And the reassurance to get it there...
Now I just have

to set up backstory rather than make a reader aware of a decade passing

Without going insane...

Without going insane...

That's the difficulty for all of us. Now where did I put those straws I was weaving into my hair?

Emma