What does everyone think?

Should you go for the kill - drag the reader kicking and screaming into the tale - be subtle and intriguing/inveigling - or invite hopeful reader to slide comfortably into your story like a pair of old slippers?

Which works for you - any favourites?

Sarah

It has to catch the reader somehow. What it makes the reader wonder about varies, but it should make the reader wonder lots.

There's 'The past is another country', of course, and I'm very fond of I Capture the Castle's:

I write this sitting in the kitchen sink.

and The Towers of Trebizond:

'Take my camel, dear,' said my aunt Dot, as she climbed down from this animal on her return from High Mass.

and I like Possession:

The book was thick and black and covered with dust.

and even more Wise Children:

Good Morning! Let me introduce myself. My name is Dora Chance. Welcome to the wrong side of the tracks.

Well all right, that last one's more than one sentence.

I read a rather snide review of the film of The Hours, saying how silly it was to make Virginia Woolf say after a great deal of work, 'I think I've got the first sentence'. I do think writing doesn't work well on film, but as WWers all know, the first sentence is the hardest, and the most crucial (the last is relatively speaking much easier). It sets voice, tone, where the story starts and everything to do with the structure, what the reader's to think of it, and preferably brings in one or two important themes in the book too. I've very rarely changed a first sentence after it's set solid, as it were, though almost every other word might change or be cut.

Putting my money where my mouth is, the first sentence of TMOL is

Had I not been there, no account, no print, no evidence of witnesses could have made me believe what I saw that day.

Emma

First lines are often judged by agents and publishers and should attempt to hook the reader in as much as possible, while avoiding cliche.

It was a dark and stormy night is no longer a viable option, but there are some great opening lines out there.

Here are a few of my favourites:

'When shall we three meet again,
in thunder, lightning or rain?'
Macbeth
William Shakespeare

'As Gregor Samsor awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a giant insect'
Metamorphosis
Franz Kafka

'Far out in the unchartered backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun'
Douglas Adams
The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy

'On those cloudy days, Robert Neville was never sure when sunset came, and sometimes they were in the streets before he could get back'.Richard Matheson
I Am Legend

'Some years ago there was in the city of York a society of magicians. They met upon the third Wednesday of every month and read each other long, dull papers upon the history of English magic.'
Susanna Clarke
Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell

'Lestat here. You know who I am? Then skip the next few paragraphs. For those whom I have not met before, I want this to be love at first sight'.Anne Rice
Memnoch the Devil

'It ended with the car crash.'
James Bennett
Unrequited

There are plenty more, but I always try to lead with something snappy or thoughtful.

JB

JB, I love all of yours, and especially your own!

Emma

Thanks Emma, I love yours too. I think it's imperative to raise a question with the first line, get the reader thinking what? how? why? It's the breath you take before you launch into the tale.

JB

Thanks, JB. I'm interested in it being a breath. I hadn't thought of it like that, but I realise that mine is a para on its own, and the next para starts with the beginning of the story, so it is just like that.

Though take that too far, and the first line becomes throat-clearing. I know that my first try at the first paragraph almost always is, and gets cut.

Emma

Ooh! Great thread!

Emma and JB, I love your opening lines. They’re guaranteed to hook even the most jaded reader in.

She was in the cellar, shivering in her thin cotton dress, turning bottles as Cook had shown her.
The Winter House
Dee Weaver

I agree with JB that the opening has to plant strong enough questions in the readers’ minds to make them want to find the answers. I remember a similar thread, about two years ago, that raised some interesting points, one of which is that the opening line needn’t be earth-shattering - but it does need to intrigue. Sometimes a simple statement can be effective. I posted the opening line of one of my unpublished novels:

The sun came out, unexpectedly lifting Hugh’s spirits as he slipped his Mercedes onto the M6, northbound.

which sparked off a huge debate about whether I had the first comma in the right place. I still maintain that I do, as moving it to after unexpectedly, (which was suggested) would remove the intrigue of why would it be unexpected that his spirits could lift.

On the other hand, for short stories, I like something more off-the-wall:

Lou died this morning. I’ve been carrying her round in a bin bag all day.
Priest’s Hole

There’s a dead hedgehog by my left hand.
Hunter’s Quarry

Sorry about the multiple shameless plugs! Couldn’t resist.

Dee

Meant to ask – if the novel has a prologue, is its first line considered the opening line of the story, or does that honour go to the first line of chapter one?

Dee

<Added>

Sorry - that was supposed to be added to the previous post.

Ooh, I hope so - that the first line of the Prologue (I always hear Frankie Howerd when I use that word) counts as the dynamic, first line of the novel. Hardly a shameless plug, 'cause only one of my 'works-in-progress' is on site, but I'm fairly sure I added a prologue to No Mystics because its opening sentence:

I was standing on my chair at the front of the class when I had the opposite of a religious experience.

strikes me as much more intriguing than the rather mundane opening of Chapter 1:

I was born in this house, in the cavernous main bedroom overlooking a half-acre tangle of garden, with fields, meadows and woodlands rolling away to the horizon.

I did the same again for my most recent creation 'Dead Rat Road', because Chapter 1 starts mid-dialogue, at the very beginning of the story, but I wanted to open the novel with a tense moment from the middle, hence the prologue:

Plop. Fran leapt back from the water’s edge, scalp prickling.

which I hope is more gripping than

‘The agent’s right,’ Ade said, flicking open his Zippo to light a cigarette.

BTW that's an Entertainment Agent he's talking about, not a Literary Agent. Much easier to get!

Strange that this opening sentence debate should come up now, as I'm having severe doubts about the novel I'm about to start concentrating my efforts on, 'Friday I'm in Love.' The original opening was

Strange the way tiny ripples in the fabric of life can create enormous waves. For me it was a horse with a cut on his face.

, but I decided that most blokes would give up there because a horse was mentioned. It's now the start of Chapter 3, as I've wound back several years for the opening chapters. No Prologue, this time, but it starts with my MC Keith aged 17, on the day his life goes pear-shaped:

On the guest-list. Me. First time ever, for a proper gig, a sweaty sticky-carpet cellar of a club down one of Liverpool’s murkier back alleys.

I'm going to post some of it soon - if I ever decide where it starts! Do others have this problem?

Julie

I really like the opening sentence of "Interview with the Vampire."

It's deceptively low key -

"I see... said the vampire thoughtfully, and slowly he walked across the room towards the window."

Tell me she "doesn't need" those adverbs and I'll fight you!

And it goes on - "For a long time he stood there against the dim light from Divisidero Street and the passing beams of traffic."

Magical!

I like all the WW first lines! Too much - can't wait for these books to come out...

Sarah

You do need those adverbs, because they're actually doing something. And of course the whole strength of it is that it's an utterly banal sentence, but for the vampire. It would be much less effective if the vampire was doing something vampirish...

Haven't read the book, but love the film. Now I'm going to duck while the WW bats join up to attack me for my crap taste...

Emma

Exactly!

It's very clever. The whole book is a dream - if you haven't read it, Emma I'd recommend it. The film's OK - I think Tom Cruise made a decent fist of Lestat - the character in the first book differing from Lestat in later tales - but I know others disagree!

(Ducks below parapet)

Sarah

I read somewhere that mentioning the weather in the first line is a bad thing.

And I’m sure, having TWO adverbs in your first sentence would get you MS thrown straight in the bin these days.

Personally, I think the first line should place a question in the readers mind, one that’s compelling enough for them to at least read the first few pages for an answer, hopefully by then the quality of your writing will have them utterly beguiled…

Grinder

if the novel has a prologue, is its first line considered the opening line of the story, or does that honour go to the first line of chapter one?

Yes, if you're talking about grabbing the reader, I'd have said. Then I guess you have to grab all over again with chapter one. Actually, of course, each chapter's opening line should grab the reader again, and the last line should make them want to go on to the next and in between...

No slack lines allowed at all then.

Emma



<Added>

And I’m sure, having TWO adverbs in your first sentence would get you MS thrown straight in the bin these days.

Only if they're the wrong adverbs, I would say. As always, if you do it right, no one bother's to look at how you've done it. It's only when it doesn't feel right that they start looking for why.

On the other hand, as a writer, it's good to get into the habit of interrogating your adjectives and adverbs as to what they're doing in there.

<Added>

'no one bother's' Aaaargh! Must be thinking about apostrophes on the other thread.

Now this one doesn't work for me -

"It is not every man who sets out to kill the King of France and begins by beating his own servant"

Mary Gentle - 1610 A sundial in a grave.

Yes it works but it's contrived - kinda obvious? I feel like I'm hooked all right but I'm not sure I want to be?

There are now no adj or adv in Vayl! (Well, not in the first sentence...)

Sarah