Strangeness and Charm at Newcastle University. Organised by Seven Stories, the centre for childrens literature.

I went to see this last night. It was good, but a little "out there". At first I thought the lecture was going to be on the state of the publishing industry, then, seeing the overhead projector, I got the idea that it was about his own work (in a way it was) but he went off in detail about quantum physics and lost half the audience. The title "Strangeness and Charm" refers to the names of two sub-atomic particles, ie, top quark, bottom quark, upper quark, lower quark, and the oddly named other two quarks, Strangeness and Charm.The bulk of the lecture was to do with image schemata, and our need to use spatial terms and images to describe abstract concepts. The sixth form kids were getting restless at this point and started playing with their boots/hair/tamogotchi until he got onto Lyra, but what he was getting at was that we need to use physical terms in order to get our thoughts across. Example: in order to tell someone how completed a project is, you use terms of distance, ie by saying how far along a path or a road you are. "Almost there" "Nearly at the finish line". This moved onto our ability to focus on a single act in a complicated scene to get the joke, or the meaning of the text. As writers, we don't need to describe every detail of a scene, because we know that if we look at an image, we focus on what is important and discard the rest. The example he used was of someone watering a potplant. We don't need the details of the plant itself, or the trellis attached to the house, or the clothes the person is wearing, or the cuts and cracks on the wall or the.... and so on.

To get the idea across in more basic terms, he used three examples from his own work. All examples involved the pouring of liquid. The first was from "I was a Rat" where the old woman poured warm water from a kettle, a second from "Clockwork" where the watchmaker poured brandy from a flask and offered it to the boy, and a third from "Dark Materials" where powder is poured into the bottle of wine. Our own understanding of our physical world allows us to make the leap in order to understand that the kettle represents security and warmth, the brandy flask represents possible danger, an older figure setting out to confuse and befuddle the younger with alcohol, and the poison represents a sly and secret act.

Overall it was fascinating, and not at all what I had expected. There was a questions and answers section at the end and then a semi-organised mob of the sixth formers who had put their tamagotchi away, pulled out creased copies of Northern Lights and crowded round a table where you could buy new copies of the books you'd already read for Philip Pullman to sign.

I went home. I poured wine from a botte into a glass. This represented that the kids were in bed and it was time to relax.

Colin M



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er... "represented that my kids were in bed". Not the sixth form kids. They were probably still queuing around the table of books.

Yes, the title reminds me of that old Hawkwind album and song 'Quark, Strangeness and Charm'.

Are you stalking Philip Pullman Colin? Just because he didn't answer your questions on Dust or show you the way to Cittegazze? Listen mate, I hate to break it to you, but it's a story all right?

Lol. Seriously though, this does sound fascinating, if not a little 'involved'. I would have enjoyed the stuff about mind associations with certain images as that is very compelling. It reminds me a little of watching Johnny Ball (yes, of all people!) at a conference a few years back, who, aided only by a piece of string and a smile, managed to make the most complex of equations seem simple.

My celebrity stalk of the week has to beat all others. I live opposite Hove church, and on Sunday went to the shop I live above for milk. Imagine my surprise when my whole road was covered in people and paparazzi. I readied myself for a 'no comment' and then realised they weren't actually there for me. It was Blair and the witch-wife, they were in the church (though God knows how Cherie didn't go up in smoke) and they came out for a meet and greet with the crowd.

There I was, hair in a mess, hungover, arranging tea for me and the beau, and ended up being crushed by the press and mugging at the PM who stood about two feet away from me. I could've shaken his hand, but didn't. I don't know why. Tea seemed more important.

JB

Johnny Ball was a brilliant guy. Think of a Number - superb.

The only celebrety I've met was Windsor Davies at a pantomime when I was eight. The person that took us dragged us to the stage door and pushed us towards him for autographs. I didn't even want an autograph, and I didn't particularly like him because he shouted at Melvin Hayes and Don Estelle. (not in the pantomime. Only one celeb allowed per pantomime up here. It's a rule).

I've met a few, and I've seen a lot about in Brighton. The two celebs I've met who I really liked were Robert Smith of The Cure (who I've actually met twice - and he remembered me!) and Sinead O'Connor, who was ever such a lovely girl. I'm friends with the cousin of Adam Tinley (Admaski, remember him?). We got backstage passes at Glastonbury 1990, and I managed a half hour chat with Sinead. She got booes for insulting the English later on, but what a gal.

I met Smith again in a supermarket in Penzance a year later, and went for a drink with him and the rest of the band in a pub called the Smithy. They have a recording studio nearby.

I recently met that Paul guy who does Big Brother's Big Mouth in Camden. Hows all this for name dropping? Lol. Oh, and I saw the 'suit you sir' guy and Mr.Weasley (can't remember his name) in a local pub recently. Nick Cave lives round the corner from me.

I hope it all rubs off.

JB

Wow, you're like a professional stalker. I bet you've got nightvision and everything.

I've remembered another one. Blackie Lawless from WASP but I was a bit pissed so I'm not sure what happened. And I had a drink with Lee Dorian of Cathedral and Napalm Death, but I think that's getting away from the celeb domain.

The thing is, all my encounters have all been accidental. (Hides the ultra-band radio and night goggles).

Napalm Death - ye gods! I wouldn't even know what they looked like. But I know what they sound like. Bloody horrible! Lol.

JB

I went to a 70/80s disco last week dressed as Robert Smith, although I think I looked more like Marilyn Manson, absolutely shocking! Glad Smithy wasn’t there he’d have probably punched my teeth out for deformation of character.

My favourite celebrity moment was four years ago. Just after I’d watched England qualify for the 2002 world cup me and the missus went out for a Chinese in Wetherby. Then who should waltz in but Rio Ferdinand, which was weird since I’d just seen him that afternoon playing footie on the telly. He went up in my estimation, because instead of going out on the lash with his footie chums to celebrate, instead he came home and took his mum and dad out for a quiet chinky, which I think is cool.

That does kind of go against the stereotype. Are you sure they were his folks and not swingers?

JB

I've read other interviews with Pullman. He talks about his religious upbringing and quantum physics a great deal, both being heavy influences on his writing.

As for meeting celebs, I've come across many in my time. Last week was a good one: I walked into Paxton & Whitfield, the stunningly brilliant cheese shop on Jermyn Street in London, and almost collided with Ronnie Corbett. The smaller Ronnie is evidently very partial to cheesy comestibles, as I found in later research on the P&W website. They have a page devoted to their celebrity customers! http://www.paxtonandwhitfield.co.uk/paxnew/celebrity_shoppers.htm

Andy

I saw Frank Carson (the comedian, not the jockey) on a bus in the Edgware Rd (London) in 1976 or thereabouts. Gosh, he was so amusing! And pissed.

Princess Margaret (RIP) attended the 50th anniversary ball of the English Folk Dance and Song Society, (she was our Patron), and I was a Rizla's width away as she looked for somewhere to stub out her fag. I thought of getting horizontal and offering my ear as a receptacle (sort of a Walter Raleigh number), but an equerry or whatever took it from her before I had a chance.

I won a College lottery once, and secured a ticket to attend the opening of our new library - by the Princess Royal!

And I've shaken hands with Elton John. I was introduced to him by John Baldry. And I met Lionel Bart within a week of that.

I'll stop there, as you must be delirious with envy.

Joe