Just because no one's posted a link to Turkey City Lexicon for a while, and it's STILL the best ever and funniest ever description of the worst traps into which we all fall on occasions... or at least teeter on the edge of before avoiding successfully by means of a complicated squirm.

http://www.sfwa.org/2009/06/turkey-city-lexicon-a-primer-for-sf-workshops/

Thanks for posting this, Emma.

The 40-foot arms are a good point about taking care when starting with -ing sentences.

I chuckled at this.

“Smeerps” are especially common in fantasy worlds, where people often ride exotic steeds that look and act just like horses. (Attributed to James Blish.)

I used to read a lot of sci-fi fantasy and there were so many strange creatures that were identical to ours, with the exception of being pink, etc.

But, I agreed with this...

“Said” is one of the few invisible words in the English language and is almost impossible to overuse.

...until I got a Kindle and played the text-to-speech facility. Somehow, the robotic female voice seems to accentuate every 'said'.

So, my learning is that said is invisible unless read by a female robot.

Be that as it may, you try riding a smeerp on a dressage test and see how long it takes to get disqualified...

my learning is that said is invisible unless read by a female robot.

LoL Sharley!

Gaius!

Nice one Sharley - that should go in the Lexicon!

Speaking of calling a rabbit a rabbit, etc - I'm reading Game of Thrones at the moment, and for some time couldn't understand why quite a few of the men had the same first name: 'Ser' - Ser this and Ser that. Eventually, I realised he meant 'Sir' . . .

This has been linked to here before, too, but worth another look I think (Strange Horizons' list of stories they see too often:

http://www.strangehorizons.com/guidelines/fiction-common.shtml

Love that, Terry.
G

Love that Emma!

Especially this:

A sudden, alarming change in the level of diction. “There will be bloody riots and savage insurrections leading to a violent popular uprising unless the regime starts being lots nicer about stuff.”

Must check out Terry's link too.

“Call a Rabbit a Smeerp“

Rolling around on the floor laughing at this Emma, thank you so much!!!

Terry, those are great - sooo horribly true...

What's worrying is that they haven't taken one of my stories yet. Hmmmm . . .

Great stuff. I love reading sci-fi but just never felt I could write it. Now I know why. I am nowhere near intelligent enough!

Emma, not everyone is as gracious as you towards SF folks. The wonderful Ansible (free online and well worth a read even if you're not into SF) runs a 'As Others See Us' section each issue. This from the November edition:

As Others See Us: Coverage of the new Red Dwarf X offers a hauntingly nostalgic sense of déjà revu: 'The show has an obsessive fan base, which stereotype would suggest is mainly men in their thirties and forties with a penchant for sci-fi and gaming – see how I'm subtly avoiding the provocative words "nerd", "geek" or "unsuccessful with women" here?' (Michael Hogan, The Telegraph, 4 October)

<Added>

I've posted it before but Ansible also does the wonderful Thog's Masterclass (of bad writing). This from the latest edition:

Dept of Pet Names. 'When he got there, his Deputy, a portly bald man with a ginger moustache called Bo Sampson, was trying to calm down a hysterical man.' (Adam Millard, Dead West, 2011)

'When he got there, his Deputy, a portly bald man with a ginger moustache called Bo Sampson, was trying to calm down a hysterical man.'

Oh, lordy, that made me laugh, though it's all too familiar.

I'm totally missing the sf/f gene, but in answer to Michael Hogan I adored the original Red Dwarf (laughed nearly as much as I do at Black Books...), and Galaxy Quest is high on my list of funniest films ever.

I'm totally missing the sf/f gene, but in answer to Michael Hogan I adored the original Red Dwarf (laughed nearly as much as I do at Black Books...), and Galaxy Quest is high on my list of funniest films ever.

Me and my partner both love Red Dwarf and neither of us is a man in his thirties or forties (not last time I checked, anyway), and our only idea of gaming is a bit of Scrabble every other year or so. I'm not sure about Red Dwarf X. It's good they've gone back to basics: the four misfits in a tin can. But it's not really as sparky (not surprisingly) as the earlier series and is a backward step on all that clutter that was introduced around 7 and 8 (assuming the first Dave series was 9), by which I mean you can't just pretend it didn't happen.

I wonder if Hogan watches Big Bang Theory. A programme centred on what he calls 'nerds' and 'geeks' and yet probably the most intelligent and funny sitcom on TV. Hogan is typical of lazy categorisers - doesn't seem to realise that there is always another level beyond initial appearances; something Big Bang relishes in, managing on the one hand to be true to obsessive geekiness while on the other making you admire the sheer brain power of the geeks themselves.

Funny thing with Galaxy Quest, when I first saw it, I thought it was lame. Second time, years later, I thought it was brilliant - expertly walks the same line as Big Bang.

Come on, Emma, you can't be totally missing the genre if you like these two. Time to release your inner geek?