Don't come the fully re-constituted ladette with me 'Dele.

We all know you were rejectted for BB 6 because you can speak Latin while floating six inches off the ground doing yer transatlantic dental medication.

Hand in you warrant card and and your PPK at the desk.

B

PS Sergei wants his brolly back. Has it been replenished?

I don't get much on the first Tues back after a bank hol, but you two have really lost me. I'm off on a speed-date with myself.

That's because Agent AlT has been putting radioactive isotopes in your cosmopolitans again.

Remember, when she says "No, it's okay to halucinate on Merlot", this is a lie.

B

"No, if anyone orders Merlot, I'm leaving. I am NOT drinking any f***ing Merlot!"

Agent Silverelli of the Can't Actually Investigate enters sideways from stage right

<Added>

or Can't Investigate Actually - a bit like Love, Actually, without the love...

I don't get Sideways -

Oh look, I'm balding, fat and failed, and I'm getting over the hill.

I mean come on, it's not like I don't already have a mirror.

Beads, stop beating yourself up. Anyone would thing you were a self-deprecating/flagellating English man...

I'm thinking about doing a UK version of Sideways about two friends that spend one Saturday afternoon trawling around various DIY shops looking for cheap materials to build a shed with, before retiring for an earlybird meal at the Wacky Warehouse, where they are pounced upon by a bunch of Chavs in souped up Vauxhall Astras who challenge them to a race, but instead settle for a pork scratchings eating contest which is won by our heroes who then persuade the chavs to help them build a new sports hall for the local special school out of bits of burn-out Mondeos.

I'll call it WidthWays.

What do you think?

I'm thinking about doing a UK version of Sideways about two friends that spend one Saturday afternoon trawling around various DIY shops looking for cheap materials to build a shed with, before retiring for an earlybird meal at the Wacky Warehouse, where they are pounced upon by a bunch of Chavs in souped up Vauxhall Astras who challenge them to a race, but instead settle for a pork scratchings eating contest which is won by our heroes who then persuade the chavs to help them build a new sports hall for the local special school out of bits of burn-out Mondeos. I'll call it WidthWays. What do you think?

NICE! Maybe you could get Oasis to do the soundtrack.

You definitely need a scene with Alan Shearer creosoting a fence (apparently his favourite pastime), and instead of a character drinking his treasured Cheval Blanc 1961 in a burger bar, perhaps he could drink a bottle of Merrydown cider, cherished since adolescence, in the carpark of B&Q.

I'm sure you could get lottery funding for this baby

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedffffff-way-ay-ay-ay-aya-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaysssssssssss-ah

There you go, a bit of Liam singin the title track.

Silver u iz a genius. American, yes, but a genius all the same.

Actually I don't believe in genius. They're all floored, as highlighted by Einstein discovering the theory of relativity but on the other hand inventing the worst possible weapon mankind could imagine.

And just look at Gazza. Don't even get me started on Anakin Skywalker.

Just listening to heaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaavy new track from Green Day. Even heavier video. Now there's a bunch of colonials who get my respeck...



<Added>

Actually it should have been Beadle who is the floored genius, Silver you're just responsible for the soundtrack ;)

God this is a slow day innit?

Fuck, I'm so bitter today --rough week.

Davey, have you heard the new Audioslave album, it's pretty damn good.

Davey, do you mean flawed genuis or floored genius as in, I decked him? Either way works for me.

I am enjoying the sun-shy-i-i-ne today. Sorted,

BTW Silver O'Relly

I think a good mix of Noel Rock and post-house dance music, Death in Vegas sytle, would get the soundtrack to no. 1 - which, after all, is what it's all about!

Mo' money, mo' Lexuss (or should that be Lexi?)

Haven't yet Silver, but woz chattin about it yesterday with a mate who said the same so will check it out! Soundgarden were heavy in every sense of the word and Cornell's voice still does it for me, so can't be bad can it?

Beads I was thinkin genius who has been boarded up, under the floor like. Not as bad as it sounds, as it gives one a lot of time to think.

Like a laminate floored genuis?

When did this get weird?

Skyflyer! I bin so distracted I didn't notice you wuz back. Nice to see you my man.

Other than that, I is lost and confused but it could be due to alcohol, to which I am not used.

Sharon