Hi. This is my first post to the forums and I would like to ask about an issue that has given me some sleepless nights: narrative distance.

I am writing a character in my novel, a young girl (9), and am unsure as to how much distance I should use. The narrative is 3rd person, and while she is initially a sympathetic and innocent character, later we find that this is not the whole picture.

If I let her character colour my descriptions, I fear I will gain intimacy at the expense of informed detail. There may be some situations in which her naivety could prove a narrative hinderance.

Should I stay as close as possible until such situations occur, then pull back? Also, as more of her true character is revealed - let's say she is really an alien - should I also withdraw to a more omniscient distance?

Would it be easier to start with some distance?

I am still a little puzzled as to why writers vary such distances. What do you lose/gain?

Many thanks for any advice.

Graloo, is it all from her point-of-view and to a greater and lesser degree in her voice - what's sometimes called third person limited - or does the point-of-view move so that we see through other characters' eyes and/or a knowledgeable, external narrator's?

Having said that - because it makes a huge difference - I would suggest that the more you can get the reader to buy into this character's innocence, the greater the shock when she turns out not to be. You'll need to construct it, though, so that her actions, which appeared innocent, are actually consistent, when we look back with our new understanding, with her other, hidden motives.

But it may not be as much of a problem as you suppose. Readers are pretty clued up, and it's not too hard to get us sensing that how she sees/describes things, isn't the whole story - specially with a child, who at the very least isn't necessarily going to understand what she reports: the reader is expecting to understand more than she does.

Emma

Further to Emma's reply, are you finding yourself slipping into omniscient point of view (pov) when you are distancing the character from the narrative?
If so this is a tricky thing to resolve, and can benefit from a fresh pair of eyes, so I would recommend posting an extract in Childrens Group (assuming it's Childrens fiction) for feedback. Or maybe Beginners group (one of our most active groups on the site with a good range of wriitng experience) if it's adult fiction.
Omniscient pov in childrens fiction is often to be avoided because it risks changing the 'voice' by making it sound too adult.


- NaomiM

Thanks for the input. I will post to the other forums suggested.

I should have mentioned that it is adult fiction. I would not say that the pov is omniscient - there is interior monologue etc. So there is an amount of closeness, which is what I want. I think it's a question of degree. Also, there is no jumping from character to character - its all from her pov.

I like your point, Emma, about the more the reader thinks they know the character,the greater shock when that character turns out to be something unexpected.

I would not say that the pov is omniscient - there is interior monologue etc.

Omniscience isn't necessarily a matter of being distant: an omniscient narrator can narrate interior monologue: the omniscience lies in the fact that they can narrate more than one character's interior life.

You might find it helpful to think in terms of John Gardner's psychic distance, because that's flexible - the narrative moves closer and less close...: I'll post something when I've got a minute to find it on my computer.

Emma