I've had a few requests for a full MS on my first novel after I've sent out a partial, but I don't seem to be able to get anyone to take on the full MS. Feedback suggests that the opening is very strong but the rest of the novel loses its way. I've tried to tighten up the focus and plot but I feel the problem may be with pacing. Has anyone had any similar problems? In my opinion, the novel would be like a thriller if the fast-paced beginning carried on throughout the novel. My intention is that the novel should slow down a bit in the middle just as a natural breather from the fast-paced beginning. Surely the answer is not to write the whole thing in the fast and attention-seeking character of the first part that captures readers' attentions...I write literary fiction and wonder whether this is a common problem in this genre.

Novels often slow down in the middle where sub plots are developed, additional characters are introduced, time is taken to regroup, etc. I suppose a couple of things to watch out for are slowing it to the point of stalling the plot - there's nothing carrying the reader forward. Or having a subplot which is more of a diversion to the story, than adding anything to the main characters and main plot. Or you've left a speedy plot stewing for no reason other than it's the middle of the book and you think that is how all books are structured.
Often books will start with a fast, action filled prologue, then change down several gears to a slow first chapter that sets the background and introduces the characters. Simply moving this slow chapter towards the centre of the book is not going to slove the problem that it's slow and there's no plot driving it forward.

If any of this sounds familiar then maybe that's what needs working on.


- NaomiM

I think there's no problem with the actual, physical pace slowing down a bit- even the paciest thriller needs pauses to catch breath - as long as the underlying tension of what's going to happen next is kept on the boil. You need to toss a log on the fire occasionally. And use the slower sections to seed the next burst of activity. Even as the MC is lying safely in a refuge, we need a sense that the previous baddy might still find him, and be wondering what's coming over the horizon...
Either that, or your necessary slower bits are just taking a bit too long in terms of pages, given the pace you've got the reader used to so far.

The Seven Basic Plots is good on what he calls the constriction-and-release pattern of your classic thriller plot, whether it's Odysseus or James Bond. Are you keeping up the 'what does he want, what does he do to get it, what gets in the way?' rhythm up in the slower bits? As long as he goes on wanting really urgently, it'll keep things urgent, even if he's sitting immobilised in a dungeon chewing his nails.

I agree with Emma that books can change tempo and the pace can slow. What it can't do is flag.
I think sometimes the problem with books that sag in the middle is not the actual middle itself but that the opening has set the reader up wrongly, if that makes sense.
Why have a whirlwind beginning if the story is in fact beautifully lilting?
Wilst I know collective wisdom is to open with a splurge, I do question whether that's wise if it aint then a splurging book. One needs to hook the reader but not with the wrong hook.
HB x

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So in answer to your post I would say the answer is not to speed up the middle - as you correctly point out. Perhaps the answer is to slow the beginning?

Agree with Helen - starting with a bang may be all very well, but it has to be a bang proportionate to the decibel-level of the rest of the book.

The other thing which I find writers often lose sight of, in trying to get the maximum number of bodies on page one, as it were, is that there's no value in doing that if those scenes aren't worked out in the rest of the book. Just a body - just a mortuary's-worth of bodies, or a huge chase, or cat-burglary, or wild sex-scene or whatever - isn't any good if it's only the starter-motor, as it were, which cuts out as soon as it's done its job. It needs to be the main engine which fires up on page one.

Emma

The other thing you risk with a fast-paced beginning, is misrepresenting the novel. The agent may start reading it thinking this is a great thriller, then it switches to a completely different animal several chapters in.

Thanks for the feedback people - yes, that might be it. A beginning that perhaps misleads the reader...or makes them think the rest of the book will be like that. The problem is, of course, if the beginning is slowed down it is harder to hook readers. Things to think about...

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I've just had feedback from an agent who has read a few drafts of my work saying it has become more readable but still lacked "narrative drive" - any help with unlocking what that means? I take it narrative drive refers to a tight story that a reader cannot put down...is this a structural criticism?

"narrative drive"

Plot. What makes the reader want to read on.

If he's talking about those slow chapters towards the middle, then you've stalled the plot.

If he likes the opening chapters then why change it? Change the middle. Turn it into the novel he thinks it is, not the one you want it to be because, in all likelyhood, that is not the novel that will get the publishing deal.
'Literary' is very difficult to sell. To the publisher it means low sales numbers and difficulty recouping printing costs unless it's worthy of being entered for one of the big prizes.

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Have you stuffed the middle with backstory? That's often a killer if the reader isn't yet fully engaged with the characters. Try cutting it to a minimum and move as much of it as possible to the second half.

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Or have you gone off on a tangent wth a sub-plot that's distracting rather than supporting the main plot?

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It's not enough to like a character or be interested in the setting, there needs a plot driving the narrative to keep the reader's attention.
eg, I like Mickey Mouse, but it's not going to hold my attention for long if he's sat in the corner of a dank kitchen bitching about Minnie and the price of cheese - not unless there is the suspicion that Minnie is sneaking up and about to brain him with a large chunk of gorgonzola....

I think Naomi's absolutely right that often the problem is lots of backstory, which you kept out of the beginning in the interests of pace, creeps in later, and you get lots of explaining and flashbacks. In my experience you never need to explain the backstory as much as you thought you did - often a lot of it was you working it out for yoursel.

Narrative drive is basically what keeps readers reading. Being involved enough in the characters is the most important thing - you can make the most spectacular things happen, but it's no good if we can't be bothered to find out if they live or die. But fundamentally we need to want to find out what will happen next. Will she manage to tell her boss what she thinks of him? Who dunnit? What will happen when she gets to the oil refinery (we suspect - though she doesn't - that the baddies will be waiting). Will she ask him to marry her? Will he say yes? Will he escape before his wounds overcome him? So even if the story's taking a breather in terms of action, these questions are still there, making us turn the pages. And each time one of them is answered, another one should be being set up. Yes, she asks him to marry her, but is he going to tell his wife he wants a divorce? Yes, he survives the claustrophobia but loses his gun and the baddies are outside...And so on

Emma

Thanks Naomi and EmmaD - if I ever get published, I'm going to buy you two a glass or two of champagne.

Due to the lame economy at the moment, agents are looking for novels that are going to keep them enraptured from start to end. As my agent said, at the moment, to hook an agent, your novel needs to shout instead of whisper.

This is kinda sad for anyone looking to write a beautiful literary piece with more interior monologue than action as it means you might miss out cos of the current climate.

With regards to narrative drive, what are your novel's key motivations? What are your main characters' key motivations? Every scene, every action needs to drive the reader towards discovering if those motivations are fulfilled.

Good luck though. To have so many agents read a full is great news.

One problem with 'pacing' is writers mistake it for 'action'. I've read 3 excellent boosk recently, two would probably be considered slow paced, but both had a very strong narrative drive which kept you reading to find out what would happen next: Tinti's The Good Thief, and Donnelly's A Gathering Light. Both also had excellent 'voices' which helped the reader to quickly empathise with the main characters without the neccessity of backstory in the opening chapters.
The third was Reeves' Mortal Engines which is full of action and the ace is so swift that thinking back to crucial parts of the narrative I'm not exactly sure what happened I'd have to re-read the relevant pages to find out. As with the Da Vinci Code, the 'voice' was secondary to the fast pace, thus making it a page turner.