This is a question about punctuation, I guess.

Whenever I have a character talking to themselves - or I'm inside their heads recounting their thoughts - I tend not to use quote marks.

So I might have a line such as You're a real bastard, Jeremiah thought to himself, not daring to say the words out loud. [Could be the start of a writing exercise that one!]

But what if the thought is also a question? Where does the question mark go? If indeed you need one. For example

I wonder if he's married, Rachel thought. or

I wonder if he's married? Rachel thought. or even

I wonder if he's married, Rachel thought? (Probably not.)

Any thoughts?

jumbo

Jumbo,

IMO the first one looks most common, the second looks do-able (if not strictly correct, perhaps?) and the third looks not so good!

Ani

Thanks, Ani. Tricky one this. Can't decide if I need the question mark or not.

And I agree with your ranking of the three.

Much obliged.

jumbo

I would personally re-structure it.

Rachel thought (to herself), is he married?

Thus ensuring that the end of the question also ends the sentence.

Jumbo, according to the venerable Lynne Truss, you don't need a question mark for indirect speech.

Adele.

How about: Rachel thought, 'I wonder if he's married?'

Thanks to you all for your thoughts on this.

No question marks for indirect speech. I like that idea.

Thanks again

jumbo

Personally, I hate seeing thoughts in quotation marks. I have to stop to work out whether the words have actually been spoken or not.

I would opt for a simple:

Rachel wondered if he was married.

Which, I accept, is a cop-out. I rarely use direct thought but, when I do, I put it in italics, no quotation marks but I would use a question mark if I wrote this:

Is he married?

but not with this:

I wonder if he’s married.

If you’re at this level, you readers should be sitting in Rachel’s head so you shouldn’t need to say ‘Rachel thought’ or ‘Rachel wondered’.

There you go! Just when you thought you’d got it sussed…

Dee
x

I'd go along with Dee here. If it looks odd and is making you pause for thought, it is possible (even if correct) that it might have the same effect on the reader. I would try to avoid hiccups and distractions, so try putting it a different way.

Another way is to use italics, on their own line, to show thoughts. This only really works if you are telling the story from a distinct point of view:

Rachel played with the stem of her glass, trying her best to be descrete. He's married, isn't he? A quick glance gave her the evidence she needed. Either he didn't own a wedding ring, or he'd chosen not to wear it. Even better

just an idea, although reading it back, it looks a bit crap.

Colin M

Dee and Colin

Thank you both for your thoughts on this.

As with so many of these things, the answer seems to be a combination of personal taste, style, acceptability, what looks 'okay' on the page ... and a few other things as well, I expect.

Thanks again

jumbo

Jumbo,
You might find this interesting:

http://www.caroclarke.com/fourfaults.html

the section on walk and chew gum.

Elspeth

That's a really good site. I've read a few of the pages already. I've heard a lot of this stuff before, but it's good to hear that other editors have the same ideas. I particularly like the section "I am your editor: Submitting your novel" - I kept thinking, whoohoo, I've done that right, that right, that right...

...then I let out a huge "Doh!" because I once sent a full MSS in a bright red sparkly box and enclose a 500g bar of chocolate. Cost me a bloody fortune to send. Ah well...

Last time I put four elastic bands around the MSS and jammed it in a Jiffy bag.

Colin M

Yes, Elspeth, that's a helpful site. I've bookmarked it.

Ani

Thanks Elspeth.

'Tis bookmarked, waiting to be read over hot chocolate and toast. (?)

Thanks.

John x