OK, need to check to see if I'm doing this right as in the middle of editing one of my novels now and need to make sure this is the right way to do it.

When describing how a character says a line, which is the best place to use a comma, if at all?

Example:

"It's my birthday," Shannon squealed, excited.


Do I need to put those commas in there to separate how she said it? I always assumed you did, but if anyone can correct me I'd be more than happy to learn.

Yes, it's

"It's my birthday," Shannon squealed, excited.

but

"It's my birthday," Shannon squealed excitedly.

Emma

Oh right. So there's no comma if there is a ly at the end. Makes sense.

Also, (another grammatical question) could anyone clear up some confusion I sometimes have with this placement of commas.

I'll use this sentence to try and explain. It's from a line in my novel.

Example:


"I'm so sorry, your mother's dead" (rather morbid example I know).

Should it be mother's or mothers'? I think it should be the first once, but i get confused when it comes to 's or s'. When is the right time to use commas before the S.


I know these are basic things you should know about and I apologise for my lack of grammar knowledge. But seeing as I hope to submit to publishers in the near future it's best that I get it right now.

Mother's. The apostrophe is standing in for the missing 'i' in is.

I apologise for my lack of grammar knowledge.

No need to apologise, it's better to check! Most people have certain blind spots with regard to grammar, and often it's just a bad habit. Good luck with submitting.

SG

Hi Dwriter,

It should be "your mother's dead" (i.e. your mother is dead - 's being a contraction of is).

The only time you would use “mothers’” is for example in this sentence:

“Their mothers’ (plural – several people’s mothers, if it was singular it would be “his mother’s) killer was never caught”
“Their cats’ (plural) food was eaten by the dog”
“My jeans’ belt is too big for me”.
“One of Jesus’ apostles betrayed him”

Those could also be written as “Their mothers’s”, “Their cats’s”, and “My jeans’s” “Jesus’s” but they doesn’t look as good, dropping the last “s” is now recognised as the norm I think.

Other examples of Saxon genitive (with words that do not end with an “S”) are:

“My car’s clutch broke”
“The computer’s hard drive is full”

As the words themselves don't end with an “S” you are required to have an apostrophe s
to show possession (i.e. the killer of the mother, the food of the cat).

Hope this makes some sense, I am sure there are others that might be able to explain it better than me

I apologise for my lack of grammar knowledge. No need to apologise, it's better to check! Most people have certain blind spots with regard to grammar, and often it's just a bad habit. Good luck with submitting.

I agree, my grammar is absolutely awful when it comes to certain things so don't worry about it

That's cool. Thanks for everyones help on this subject, it's given me a lot to look for when I'm editing my book.

Wait, should that be its' given me a lot or it's? lol. Just kidding. Thanks anyway.

Returning to the original topic of the comma, I would reconsider its use in the sentence

"I'm so sorry, your mother's dead"

because the comma is not always a great way to separate what are actually two separate sentences and can therefore read awkwardly or ambiguously.

I'd suggest:

"I'm so sorry your mother's dead"

if the meaning is: I'm sorry to learn that your mother's dead

but

"I'm so sorry - your mother's dead"

or

"I'm so sorry. Your mother's dead"

if it means that the person is announcing the death.

But everybody has differing views about commas and what rules should apply to them.

Chris

Good point, Chris.

in the "I'm sorry to learn that your mother's dead" sense

"I'm so sorry your mother's dead"

is really a contraction of

"I'm so sorry that your mother's dead",

where 'that your mother's dead' is a subordinate clause, expanding on the main clause 'I'm so sorry', so it just runs on without a comma (Compare, 'I was surprised that you didn't know him' - you wouldn't write 'I was surprised, that you didn't know him'

If it's telling them that their mother is dead, 'I'm so sorry' and 'your mother's dead' are two grammatically complete (in the technical sense of having a main verb) clauses, so you can't link them with the notorious comma-splice.

"I'm so sorry - your mother's dead"

is the informal version

"I'm so sorry. Your mother's dead"

is grammatically/punctuationally (sic?) okay, but personally, I'd use a semi-colon, since the two sentences are logically and intimately connected - one follows the other - which the full-stop doesn't quite convey.

I'm so sorry; your mother's dead

And we'll ignore the discussion I once had with a very longstanding editor and agent about whether people actually say semi-colons in dialogue...

Emma

Well spotted on the earlier sentence. I actually DID forget to put a comma in there after "I'm so sorry". I will go back to that line and correct it.

While we're on the subject of grammar, I was playing one of my old computer games earlier today and guess what? When I completed the game, I was given this ending sentence.

It's from the Ghostbusters game on the old NES console. If you complete the game, you get this message.

[quote]"Conglaturation !!!

You have just completed a great game.

And prooved the justice of our culture.

Now go and rest our heroes !" [quote]

No joke. That's EXACTLY how it's said. I can spot about ten mistakes in that sentence!

I mean, I know it's an old game and all--that and the old nintendo games were famous for having bad translations from previous games. But couldn't they have least got proof-readers for it?

It's off topic, I know. But it was such an atrocious error, I thought I'd bring it to light.

When I finished 'Bugs Bunny in Crazy Castle' (or called something similar) on the original Gameboy (probably 15 years ago) I got the message, "Congraturations you are good player!"

There were over 80 levels, and all I got was that lousy line.

All the best,

Ben

To be fair, I think most computer game company (not just nintendo) had engrish issues. I remember I played a game called magician lord and every so often you'd meet this bad guy and he'd talk to you with really stupid catchphrases like:

"You nice guy. But be dead down here now".

Or:

"I am destined just to die".


I'm pretty sure he meant YOU are destined just to die. Man gotta love Engrish.

They even had one level called the "Anderground", instead of underground. I guessed that must have been the home to evil wombles. hehe

Seriously though, couldn't they have got spell checkers or proof readers?

but personally, I'd use a semi-colon, since the two sentences are logically and intimately connected

Funnily enough, I read a lot of comics and notice that they don't use semi-colons in their text. Anyone know why that is?

Seriously though, couldn't they have got spell checkers or proof readers?

No, because a native speaker charges money for that service. My salary when I worked as proof-reader in China was modest by UK standards but very high for there. Would-be English texts, from restaurant menus to museum notices, from DVD blurbs to washing machine instructions were a great source of entertainment ( and frustration) for myself and fellow-expats.If, like me, you watch foreign films with subtitles you're constantly aware of the problem.

Appliance manufacturers in Tawan, etc used to be notorious for their incomprensible operation manuals. The bigger companies now employ native English speakers to write the manuals,probably in response to consumer complaints, but you still get the odd one that's hard to understand.

I guess video games manufacturing has such narrow profit margins that employing a translator would price the small companies out of the market.

Sheila

Hey Sheila. I guess you're right. It's not really that big a deal, I guess. I didn't really notice it until playing games recently. But what you said makes sense. I guess so long as the word looks like it's supposed to, it's not a big deal.