Someone who read the first draft of my book said that there wasn;'t enough sex in there and that the sex scenes were somewhat dry, although I added plenty of references to it in there.

I have no idea how to write a decent sex scene, and I don't know whether any of the scenes that I have so far written are any good. It is also something I find quite embarrassing to write about, although I guess it shouldn't, really.

Has anyone else had to deal with this issue?

Sex scenes are very hard to write well - in theory it should be no different from writing anything else, and technically it isn't, but somehow... One problem is that the you've got twin pitfalls: ludicrous lush/euphemistic language on one side, and bald un-sexy details of plumbing on the other. The path between them is narrow - narrower than with other kinds of scene - but it is there. If your reader merely felt that they were a bit dry, and wasn't falling about with laughter or tossing the MS away in disgust you're doing pretty well already.

This book does just what it says on the tin, and is really helpful.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Joy-Writing-Sex-Elizabeth-Benedict/dp/0285636421/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1220601761&sr=8-1

Things that help a lot include:

Make the most of whatever point-of-view and voice you're in. How would that character think about it? What would they see and feel, what would they not mention or not notice? That way the reader experiences the sex (good, bad or indifferent) as the character does, and doesn't stand back and judge from afar, (which is when they might start giggling...)

Don't forget there's no need to write the whole damn scene from the first kiss to the last snore, any more than there is with anything else. Focus on the crucial moment of change (if there isn't one, you don't need the scene) and then fill in as much of the lead up to it, and lead out of it, as you need to make the change strong and convincing, and leave it at that.

There is a WW group - intimate moments - specifically for such writing. You might find help and inspiration there, too.

Emma

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The other thing you have to do is completely forget that your parents might read it...

Yes, come and join us in Intimate Moments - it's there for this very purpose: if you would like comments and feedback on a sex scene, just post it.
Susiex

Good point! Sex scenes are always embarrassing to write. Maybe it helps to tell yourself, this really is just a first draft that no-one else is going to read! Remove your inner censor and write! Once it's down you can chip away at it, getting rid of anything that sounds like porn, Mills and Boon, or comedy. I find the trouble is that our sexual language is strangely limited, despite all the names we have for things! and falls into those three categories – actually four categories when you include medical terminology! When I'm trying to find good words for the 'naming of parts' – there just aren't any! The trouble is if you remove all the nitty gritty details it can come across too coy. It's very hard, and certainly the area I do most rewrites on! You are not alone! I suggest just lose your inhibitions, go for it and then pull back! (Why does everything now sound like an innuendo...?) JC x

This is why I stick to Childrens and Humour.


- NaomiM

Of course, sex is not compulory in Adult fiction. Terry Pratchett has the occasional, oblique (double entendre) references to it, while Jasper Fforde stops at the bedroom door, as does Louise Doughty. In Louise's Novel In A Year column for the Daily Telegraph she said she prefers to leave it to the reader's imagination.



- NaomiM

It's certainly true that with sex scenes in particular less is usually more. The best-written sex scenes, in other words, are the ones you can get the reader to write in their head.

But you'll always be dealing with the reader's very visceral reactions, and there's nothing you can do about that. As soon as you put in any individuality at all, and make it anything other than two beautiful people beautifully doing some rather unspecified beautiful things to each other, you're going to upset someone. There's a mormon mother who blogs, who thinks TMOL should have a health warning on it, for instance...

Emma

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And if things are dry, it suggests you need more foreplay, of course.

And if things are dry, it suggests you need more foreplay, of course.

Thanks very much. The thing is that my sex scenes do fall into the realm of comedy a lot of the time (and some of it is intentional).

Also the words that I use and the language is also really hard to get right because as you said I tried and a lot of it just ended up looking like porn. Oh dear...

I will definitely post them in the forum you mentioned though. Im a trial member though so not sure whether I can do that but I'll have a go!

As a trial member you can join one group and post one piece in it, I think.
Look forward to reading!
Susiex

Was the 'someone' who told you 'more sex' an agent, a fellow writer or just a friend? And do YOU feel there ought to be more sex in there? And if so, why?

I'm a believer in the camp which says it's not at all necessary (even though at least some of what I write is contemporary romance/romantic comedy, in which genre there is requently quite a lot of sex). I don't put in anything I'd be embarrassed having my mum (or my daughters in a year or two) read. By all means, read the books on the subject, join Intimate Moments, work on it - if you think your books need it. But don't for a minute think it's an obligatory selling tool, to be bunged in there compulsorily to attract an agent/publisher.

Just my penn'orth.

Rosy

Was the 'someone' who told you 'more sex' an agent, a fellow writer or just a friend? And do YOU feel there ought to be more sex in there? And if so, why?

I'm a believer in the camp which says it's not at all necessary (even though at least some of what I write is contemporary romance/romantic comedy, in which genre there is frequently quite a lot of sex). I don't put in anything I'd be embarrassed having my mum (or my daughters in a year or two) read. By all means, read the books on the subject, join Intimate Moments, work on it - if you think your books need it. But don't for a minute think it's an obligatory selling tool, to be bunged in there compulsorily to attract an agent/publisher.

Just my penn'orth.

Rosy


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Ooops - double-pressed the button! Sorry.