You know that scene in the murder-mystery film where the suspected assailant is creeping up on the intended victim, and all of the camera angles are chosen so as to hide the identity of the 'creeper' from the audience?

Well ... I'm trying to achieve a similar effect in a novel. I want this unidientified character - of unspecified gender - to creep up slowly on some poor unfortunate person.

My difficulty is that I don't want to use 'he' or 'she', because that can give too many clues to the reader.

I've tried lots of 'the driver', 'the person', 'the visitor' but too many of those can interrupt the flow of the action.

So what about that word 'they'? Is it still absolutely 'plural', or has its usage shifted enough for us to use it as a pronoun for a single, non-gender specified individual?

For example 'The driver stepped out of the vehicle and walked across the car park. They stopped at the corner of the building, shifted the weight of the firearm in their hand and called his name.'

Any thoughts? (Especially from all you crime-writers out there!)

jumbo

Is this Exit 21??? Eh? Eh?

I’m already thinking who? Who?

Sorry Jums but I find using ‘their’ like that a bit irritating.

I would get round it by something like this:

The driver stepped out of the vehicle and walked across the car park. Stopped at the corner of the building, shifted the weight of the firearm to a firing position and called his name.

I do that a lot in my own writing but I don’t think you do so it might be noticeable. How about:

The driver stepped out of the vehicle, crossed the car park and stopped at the corner of the building, shifting the weight of the firearm to a comfortable position.

Then maybe you could put the ‘called his name’ bit into dialogue.

Dee
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Dee

Yup, point taken on 'their'. But what about 'they'?

Will you let me use that? please? PLEASE??

And is this Exit 21? (Shameless plug! Ta!). It might be!

All the best

jim bux 2 xx

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Hi John

I agree with Dee, if you omit ‘they’ and ‘their’ it’s more dramatic.

Also to call his name is more effective.

I think it was Colonel Mustard in the Hall with a AK-47.

Dawn,

I'm sorry Dawn, I'm having enough trouble already without my baby being upgraded to a moderb version of Cluedo.

But thanks anyway for your comments.

What do you think Dee meant by just x ?

Is she concealing just a bit too much?

All the best

jumbo x

Jumbalaya,

If you can't use 'their,' then you can't use 'they,' 'theirs,' 'them,' or any of those. I think that group of pronouns is still reserved for plurals, probably to keep us writers on our toes and out of the lazy circle.

TheGodfather

Jumbalaya? You must be looking for my sister!

TG,(may I call you that),

I half agree with you - I still see it is a deficiency in our langauge that we don't have a gender-free personal pronoun for the 3rd person singular.

We have several words for rain, but only 'he' and 'she'.

Thanks for your interest

jumb....

Jumbo,

I agree we need a word for that, the gender non-specific. Perhaps it will end up they, to the chagrin of all the elderly grammarians. I suggest if you feel yourself as the rebel of sorts, use the they that they think incorrect. It's sort of up to you, and the publishers too I guess.

TheGodfather

OK, come up with a new word but bear in mind it will take a couple of hundred years to become accepted into the English language. I think, Jumbo, you want Exit 21 published before then?

The problem is that, if you’re writing a scene where we would expect the character to be male, and you use they/their/them, then readers will assume you’re trying to disguise the fact that the character is female. And vice versa.

To be honest, I think there’s a strict limit on how long you could prolong such a scene. It’s similar to confusing the POV. As a reader I feel cheated if I get half-way through a scene and find I’m sitting in the wrong character’s head.

And, even in those old films, Jumbopal, you could tell from the knees down whether it was a man or a woman.

Dee
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Umm!

Don't need a 'new' word, 'cause we've already got one. They.

But you're right - I would like Exit 21 (shameless plug - you mentioned it fist, so Thanks) to be published whilst it is still vaguely topical.

But then, because of the input from you and Sharon I think it reads okay now. So thanks for that as well, Dee!

Now then. Knees down, and all that. Best have a lie down before we start talking about legs and things!

jim pax

OK. Had the lie down. Onwards and upwards…

Hope we're not talking 'legs' here!

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