I've been experimenting for a while with writing sections of Feeling Gravity's Pull in the second person but more and more I find myself chopping and changing between first and second within chapters, is this a suicidal move?

Why, Geoff, are you feeling gravity's pull?
I don't see why it wouldn't work. The problem with second has always been large blocks of it in the narrative are wearing, so switching between first and second so you are chopping it into smaller chunks, would seem a better way of going about it.

My suggestion is that you should have a rationale for the change, or at least a differentiation, to emphasise that it's intentional. If it's logical (for whatever reason you can concoct) then I can imagine it working. If there's no rationale then it could seem messy, and possibly confusing.

For instance, if there were only short passages in second then maybe you could differentiate them by putting them in italics, showing that they're different. Another differentiation could be the context - such as in first person when he's not at work and in second when he is at work, if for instance he had some kind of issue with being at work.

Just some thoughts...

Deb

Hi Naomi and Deb,

I think I'm just going to run with it. The novel itself is unlike anything else I've read so I figured I might as well go the whole hog.

Basically I've gone very a very naturalistic approach in the first person which lends itself well to passages in the second person as we often slip into second person in conversation. In the context of the novel I've used it to portray flashbacks in the present tense which helps in a number of ways.
Firstly it allows you to do away the the dreaded 'I' which can become really annoying. Secondly, as my character is suffering from amnesia it provides a certain level of distancing from his own experience, which can be a common occurrence with the condition. Thirdly, because most of what's being recalled is quite dark it provides an element of dissociation, a kind of dividing line between what he thinks and what he does. Finally, it provides a rawness that can never be fully rendered with the past tense and is much easier on the eye (and reader) than first person present tense.

my character is suffering from amnesia

Ah, I assumed it was that one.

As long as you are consistant, it sounds like it has a good chance of working.

I think that sounds really interesting, and I can see exactly why you're doing it - and you'll only find out if it works when you've done it, after all... Good luck!

Emma

Geoff, that sounds really interesting and a really good justification/differentiation.

Good luck with it!

Deb