You can tell i'm on the millionth rewrite 'cos i'm not worrying about the minutiae:

'Double-quick she scrambled out of her car'

Strictly speaking i suppose this should be 'double-quickly' but do you agree this sounds awful (i wouldn't use it) and that as i've done it is okay?

Also, i think sometimes i overuse commas - should it be

Double-quick, she scrambled out of her car

??

I know there are alternatives to double-quick, but i don't want to change it.

Thanks for any comments

Casey

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oops, mean i am worrying about the minutiae!!

What about doubly-quick? I wouldn't use double-quickly, though.
Don't know about the commas, Casey, I put 'em in all over the place!

Hmm, i hadn't thought about doubly-quick. Will mull it over. Thanks

x

According to OED 'double-quick' is an adverb as well as an adjective, so it's entirely correct to use it as you have.

Emma

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I'd be inclined to use the comma, though, unless you put 'double-quick' after 'the car'.

I'm with Emma.

Double-quick, she...

Thanks guys! I'm happy now (for the moment anyway)

Casey

I'll be controversial and say I don't think you need it, even for emphasis. 'Scrambled' contains the sense of moving at desperate speed, in my book.

Hmm, i know what you mean, it's a bit like the word scribbled, doesn't need any other word to convey the speed.

However i did want to emphasize her lightning reaction (her car's just been hit).

Lord, it's amazing just how many words are superfluous!

Casey

You may feel, too, that you want another syllable or two for the sound of the sentence. Only you will be able to see what looks best in context.

If I was going to use it, I'd use it as in Naomi's msg. However, I can't say I'm a big fan of using the phrase in a novel. It reminds me of what my dad would say to us when we were kids and he wanted to hurry us up, and I don't find it evocative in a novelistic sense.

Personally I would find a way to rephrase it without losing the meaning. Maybe something like 'She leapt out of the car like a bolting rabbit'.

Deb

I'm with Kate on this. I wouldn’t use it. I think it slows the pace of the sentence by delaying the moment when we get to the action. I would opt for something simple like
She bolted out of the car.

Dee

Seriously, i don't know how anyone can advise that i don't use this without knowing it's position in the rest of the text - is it the opening line of a new para, a punch at the end, does it fit in with the rhythm of the previous and following sentences if there are any??

Really guys, i'm surprised!

Casey

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Not saying i don't appreciate your ideas, you know i do - but we often talk about the rhythm of sentences - what about the rhythm of paragraphs?

You didn’t give us anything else to go on. And I still maintain that a sentence with an awkward rhythm can disrupt the flow of any paragraph it happens to be in.

But as you say, we don’t know the context, so I’ll say no more.

Dee

Fair point, Dee. I guess we have a different opinion on what sounds awkward and what doesn't - like the idea about bolted, though.

Casey

Yes, I very much like Dee's suggested sentence. Far better than mine.

I also agree with Dee's point about context not being all.

Deb