The sun was shining and it was one of the warmest days so far this year.

I'm writing in past tense. Is it correct to write "so far this year", because that doesn't sound entirely past. Although "so far that year" sounds weird and seems to distance us from the action.

I was never taught tenses at school, so obviously I understand (mostly!) past and present, but there are some more complicated ones I don't understand. Any help much appreciated.

Deb

This one's always awkward - though I don't find 'that' any more or less so than 'this'.

Do you have a sense of where your narrator stands in relation to the story they're telling? Years ago? Or just after it happened? If you don't really have a narrator who has any relationship to the story I'd certainly use 'that'.

Emma

Tricky. How do you think it reads using 'that' and taking out ‘so far’ e.g:

The sun was shining and it was one of the warmest days that year


Juliet


<Added>

also -

The sun was shining. It was one of the warmest days that year --(jump into character or action.)

Thanks both of you.

It's third person subjective, so no narrator as such - just a viewpoint character. So no sense of how long ago the story happened. In fact, it's present day, quite specifically, but if I ever get it published it will be slightly in the past.

The reason I wanted to use "so far" is that it's late April and the weather is warming up, so it's not stifling. If I don't use "so far" it might be less clear that it's spring and sound more like the hottest day of summer. It is mentioned that it's April in another (earlier) scene, so I don't really want to mention it again.

Anyway, your comments have given me food for thought. At least I know I'm not doing it really obviously wrong - that it is a dilemma.

Deb

Actually these are two statements that say exactly the same thing. I'd remove one!

So you have either:

"The sun was shining"

or (and I think this is better)

"It was one of the warmest days so far this year"

or even better, ditch the telling and the dreaded "to be" verb (dull ...) and say:

"X peeled off his jumper and wiped the sweat from his/her face. When would this ruddy heatwave end?" or similar

)

A
xxx

Holly, thanks for that. You make a very good point about the telling, and how I could improve on how I impart the info. I'll have a think about that and see what I can come up with.

However, I can't agree that sun shining and warm day are exactly the same thing, because it can be cold and very sunny or warm and overcast. Or perhaps that wasn't what you meant?

Deb

True. But what I think I'm trying to say is I don't care much for the state of the weather in a book - what I do really care about are the characters and how they're reacting and what they're thinking. They can mull on the weather as long as they like provided it means something to them, is changing them or building tension, but I don't think we need to spend too much time on worrying about the exact details, if it's not a big theme.

For instance, if the sun is shining and it's cold, how does this affect MC? If it's boiling but cloudy, how does this affect MC? From what they do/how they react, we should know what the weather is, I think.

A
xxx

IKWYM and thanks.

I think the weather can create atmosphere, for instance. That's what I'm trying to do with it.

Deb

<Added>

I also have a strong garden theme, which of course makes the weather more relevant.

--it's late April and the weather is warming up

So far, it does make sense

J.

I would tend to avoid the issue by going for a slight rejig of the sentence:

The sun was shining and it was one of the warmest days of the year so far.

Dee

Oh, nice dodge, Dee. Thanks very much - I'll probably use that.

Deb

Ooo, you've got two was's in there, Dee. Is that allowed?

<Added>

Irrespective of tenses,
with this it places the story in the present.
with that it places the story in the past.

I didn't notice the two wases bumping into each other at all. I think it's because they're actually grammatically quite different: 'It was' is a main verb, but one with a very abstract subject, but the 'was' in the 'the weather was warming up' is only part of a compound verb (think that's the right term). If it had been 'The sun was shining and the weather was warming up' it would be clumsy.

Emma

<Added>

Sorry, realise I've quoted Dee's version wrongly, but the distinction is the same.

Actually ‘was’ appeared twice in the original version. I just suggested an alternative without messing around with it too much. To be honest, I wouldn’t have written the sentence like that in the first place but, without the context, didn’t want to suggest an alternative.

Dee


<Added>

Sorry – didn’t mean that to sound so snippy! Just ignore me… I'm having a bad day.

:(

Naomi, can you expand on that, cos I'm not with you?

Deb