What is the accepted way of indicating the passage of time (a number of hours) between paragraphs?

Thanks,

Brian.

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Below is an excerpt to put it in context. The break is where I have put an asterix.

The enemy begins to falter, sensing their hopelessness, then slips back and disappears in the thickening smoke. I pull back from the loophole and look up and down the line. Not a man appears to be down. Men raise their muskets in victory and I join in a ragged cheer which rises up from the retrenchment. The water carriers return with their pails, refilling canteens. Guy claps me on the back, hard. “Well done! See how they stomach that! Looks like French lead has cooled English ardour.”

Guy’s tricorn flies from his head, twirling in the air. The fusilier next to him clutches his neck, spurting blood, and goes down.

“Take cover! Keep your heads down. English rifle men in the abbatis!” Pouchot yells.

On the far side of the clearing, more red clad battalions march from the trees to the sound of drums. Overhead, the sun rises higher in the noon sky, but the birds have ceased their singing.

*

I peer cautiously over the battlements. In the sultry heat, smoke hangs over the battlefield, a tattered grey shroud for the dead. The moans of the wounded and the dying replace the din of battle. A gentle breeze stirs the air, revealing countless twisted bodies carelessly strewn about. Directly ahead, a highlander lies impaled on the sharpened branches of our abbatis, his hand still clasping his sword, reaching for us even in death; but the enemy is gone.
My breath exhales in a rush and I slump against the log wall. We have beaten back yet another charge. The fifth? I have lost count. We've been at it all day. The smoke stings my eyes and gun powder has parched my mouth. My lips are cracked and swollen. Guy looks at me, his grimy face harried. We are too tired to smile. The men take hurried swigs from canteens, all the while keeping an eye trained over the wall for the enemy now hidden from view. They are too many and we are too few. The Marquis, indefatigable, walks among us with words of encouragement.

I'm not entirely sure of the context, but one would assume that the very act of continuing a story in a paragraph with a space between it and the one above, would indicate a passage of time. Some novels use a * in the space between the paragraphs.
Starting a new chapter is another method.
A few words, such as 'it was now dark', would tell the reader that time had passed.

Hi Naomi,

Good point about the context. I have appended a couple of paragraphs to my initial message so people can see what I mean.

The break comes just before the paragraph that begins with 'I peer cautiously over the battlements'.

Five or six hours has elapsed. In the second paragraph after the break I mention 'we've been at it all day' but that leaves perhaps a paragraph where the reader might be confused.

I thought of saying something like 'the sun has sunk low in the western sky' just before' I peered over the battlements but I had ended the previous paragraph with the sun.

Any ideas?

Brian.

I've seen it said on more than one occasion that most publishers have an aversion to the use of asterisks or other symbols for the purpose of separating different sections within a chapter. If you look at most printed books, they do not use a line space between paragraphs. Each new paragraph is simply indicated by the indentation of its first line. Consequently, their recommended method of indicating a new section (which usually implies some change of time or place) is to use a line space, i.e. a blank line between paragraphs indicates the start of a new section.

Chris

After reading your piece, I think just having the gap between the paragraphs is sufficient, Dreamer.
You may consider starting the new paragraph with the line: We have beaten back yet another charge. The fifth? I have lost count. We've been at it all day. as that tells the reader straight away that time has passed.

Atm I tend to use 5 asterisks, but really that's because I may format it sloppily at this stage (when it's a wip) and asterisks makes it clear there is meant to be a break there rather than an accidental break, or meant to be a break but I've inadvertently closed the line break.

However, when I send to an agent perhaps I'll get rid of the asterisks, if they're unpopular! WW is great for picking up these snippets.

Deb

I'd save up asterisks for a break that's nearly as big as a chapter, or a real jump-cut in time or place, and even then I'd agree, I think they're a bit of a last resort.

It's hard to deomnstrate online because of the computer standard of a double-line space between paragraphs. On paper the standard is to indent the first line of a paragraph, with no extra space between them. Again, I'd use an extra space for a jump-cut in time or space, but Naomi's right, it would be worth giving the reader a hand-hold, to make sure you've taken them with you as you've jumped. And if you do, you might find you don't need the double-line space after all.

Emma

Interesting, Emma.

I only use them for a jump in time and place - a new scene. Would a line space be enough for that, do you think?

Why are asterisks a last resort? Do you agree that publishers don't like them?

Deb

Yes, I think a line break is fine for that. If you're not using a fluid PoV, then it can be useful for a PoV change, too.

I've never heard an agent have an opinion about asterisks. I suppose my gut feels that they're the last resort short of a chapter break, and as they're that major, it would make the chapter very choppy if they happened too often.

FWIW, in TMOL, which has two completely separate stories intercut, I wrote it so that there was only a line break when I changed story, but the voices were extremely distinct and I was careful to make it very clear. In the end my editor said she thought readers would need a little more to make sure they didin't get lost, and we had a very elegant squiggle at each change, which meant about three or four in each chapter.

Emma

Thanks Emma - that's really useful. So I think that means that if I'm only changing viewpoints at each chapter break then a line space would be enough to suggest change of scene (time, place) for the one character.

Deb

Yes, I'm sure it would. It's just the kind of jump I'd be expecting, subconsciously, if I came to a line break like that.

Emma

Hi,

Thanks to everyone for their input, this has been very useful.

One other question. Someone suggested I put times at the begining of these sorts of jumps. I already start a chapter with a date as there is often widely different time periods between chapters varrying from days to months. So, I was wondering in this chapter if I should start changes like this with a date and a time?

Brian.

I wouldn't expect to see a time in a historical novel.

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I should qualify that by saying 'as a reader..'

I kicked off each of the two threads of TMOL with year-and-place, and the new novel uses all sorts of such divices. It's the most efficient - in a way invisible, though seemingly non-naturalistic - way of making sure you're making sense. While you want to intrigue the reader, you don't want them to spend the first three pages feeling faintly baffled, because that may be the last three pages they ever read of the book.

(Of course, being a Londoner, it was months before it occurred to me that maybe Manchester wasn't in Cheshire in 1819. Ten or so book trade people didn't notice either. Surprisingly hard to find out, too.)

Emma

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I think I'd only put time if it were crucial - 24-style - but if it is, it can be effective to have the count-down ticking away.

But you do have to remember that a lot of readers' eyes skid straight over headings like that, so I think it doesn't exempt you from making sure the same kind of info is very clear in the first sentence or two.

But you do have to remember that a lot of readers' eyes skid straight over headings like that

That is very true. I've just read this and realized I've done exactly that on a piece I critiqued this morning. Doh!