As I've been bashing away at my WIP, I've noticed that my characters seem to do a hell of a lot of smiling at each other.

Think I'm ending up with a bunch of grinning idiots. But what can I do? I want to express that subtle shift in mood - when someone says something and it makes you feel a bit better for example.

Has anyone got any ideas how I can convey this differently? Or else any alternative words for smile?!

Charlotte, my characters do a lot of smiling, frowning, sighing, nodding, and looking. I think those kinds of things tend to just melt into the prose, a bit like 'said'. It's when you have a character scratching her arse all the time for no good reason that the reader begins to notice.

If it really bothers you then instead of smile the occasional, 'her delight leapt to her face' kind of thing, might work.

I've done a search because I remember a thread froma while ago that I took some brilliant pointers from and a printout of alternative verbs.

It's here.

There's some great advice in it and I have had a copy of that list of verbs next to me since then. It's great if you think you're begining to use one word a bit too much.

my characters do a lot of smiling, frowning, sighing, nodding, and looking. I think those kinds of things tend to just melt into the prose, a bit like 'said'.

- oh, i really do hope so!! - mine look at each all the time, nod a helluva lot, sigh pretty frequently, sometimes smile and occasionally frown,

sigh

p

Thanks guys, reassuring to know that readers might not pick up on it if it's the same as having 'he said' all over the place.

And thanks for that link Eve - really useful.

Just noticed Casey signed all her posts 'Sammy' in that thread. That really threw me for a second! Thought Sammy had logged in as Casey or something!

What about body language other than faces? I don't think smiling's a bad thing but you could mix it up a bit if you think it's too much. Or just change the way you express it, perhaps - so it's basically smiling but you're describing it in a more interesting way?

Could you give us an example so we could think what else you might be able to do?

Deb

<Added>

Of course, if the character you want to smile is your viewpoint character then you can describe the feelings from an internal perspective. But perhaps these smilers are not viewpoint characters?

What about body language other than faces?

I think this is a good suggestion Deb, but because I write in the 1st person I'm not sure if it would seem unnatural. For example, I'd have to write, "I noticed her posture relax slightly" or something and I don't think my MC is that observant.

Generally it is not the MC smiling, but people smiling at her.

I'm at work so don't have access to my writing but will post an example later tonight if you don't mind giving me some other ideas! Thanks Deb

"I noticed her posture relax slightly"

I agree that sounds slightly unnatural because it's clinical, and not something we would normally think or say.

What about something like "She uncrossed her arms and leaned against the sideboard, a smile hovering on her lips". I know I've included "smile", but I've added other stuff which dilutes the effect of "smile", if you feel you've overused that. Or take the smile out altogether. And because crossed arms are supposed to be defensive, uncrossing them implies relaxation, yet it seems more likely that even an unobservant person would notice someone doing that, even if not consciously.

In most first person writing (depending on the exact style you're using) I'm not convinced the description needs to be something the person would actually say when telling a friend - I think it's okay to include things they would be aware of, even if they didn't think about it.

Deb

<Added>

Yes, do post another example when you have a chance, and we can all have a think. :)

That was a really unnatural way of putting it now you point it out Deb - sorry I hadn't really woken up yet!

This is definitely something I think is going to come up as I start editing. I am worried that I am a bit dry and unimaginative in my writing sometimes - probably because of my journalism training. It's all very factual.

Anyway will post an example later on...

Sorry Charlotte - I didn't mean to be rude saying it was unnatural. I was just agreeing with you since I think you were saying it sounded unnatural?

Will look forward to your example later...

Deb