This is not a big problem, but occasionally, I have a dialogue sentence that needs a pause in it because the subject of discussion has changed during the sentence. For example:

“Her mother died last night. I’m going to adopt and raise her. I thought you were going for a swim.”

At first he is explaining to the women that he is going to adopt a child, then suddenly he remembers the woman said she was going for a swim. I feel like need a pause between this two, but I am not sure what my options are. What are some ways to insert a small pause for the reader.

Thank you
Azel

Hi Azel,

I think I'd use an ellipsis in this example:

“Her mother died last night. I’m going to adopt and raise her . . . I thought you were going for a swim.”

But you can always break off the sentence and make the pause seem longer:

"Her mother died last night. I'm going to adopt and raise her," he said, adding another sugar to his tea. "I thought you were going for a swim."

Either of those do?

Emily

Yes, those are the two options I'd consider depending on whether I wanted more of a sense of the choreography of the scene (the second one) or of the silence that falls during the pause 9the first).

Emma

I think I'd break off in the middle and put in an action which reflects his attitude e.g. if he is still hesitating about adopting her then I might say
"Her mother died last night. I’m going to adopt and raise her." He gazed into the distance before looking at her again. "I thought you were going for a swim.”
or if he is determined to do this and won't listen to any objections then I might make it a more definite action.
"Her mother died last night. I’m going to adopt and raise her." He stood up to go. "I thought you were going for a swim.”
That sort of thing.

I would always use the second option Emily suggests - some action or thought which interrupts the speech.

I personally don't think ellipsis fulfills your need in this case. I'd use ellipsis when the person is carrying on with the same thought but has broken off halfway, perhaps because unsure of how to phrase something.

eg, "I just wanted to say... I mean, I don't want you to go," said Tim.

Deb

To be honest. I wouldn't have such an abrupt change of topic in one sentence. I'd
insert some narrative in between.

But actually, Myrtle's suggestions are very good. And the dialogue now sounds better than any dialogue I've ever written. (I'm bd at dialogue.)

<Added>

But Sammy is the man for dialogue, apparently.

I think the ellipsis certainly achieves something, but it's whether or not it suits your character or the tone of the conversation. You'd have to want that bizarre change of topic to be making a point in itself - either a point about the person saying it, or the relationship between the two people talking, or the seriousness of the death/adoption topic, or just the way that people can sometimes switch from the tragic to the mundane in a blink of an eye at the breakfast table.

Not that they're necessarily having breakfast, but you get my drift.

Thank you everyone for your help. I don’t have many sentences like this one. When I read it aloud, it sounded wrong. I knew it needed some sort of break. I will probably use action.

Azel