I've written a short story which brushes the 17k mark. It needs drastic cutting, partly for boring admin reasons, but also for the more writerly one that it's a nasty baggy monster. The problem is, re-reading it, I can't tell what to cut. I'm so familiar with the monster that I can't see the wood for the trees. I've tried the reading-aloud thing, the cut-out-when-I-start-nodding-off thing (unfortunately the whole story makes me nod off, familiarity breeding rank contempt).

Does anyone have any suggestions? The best idea, I know, would be to put it in a drawer for a few months, but I'm working to a deadline. The second best idea would be to contract temporary memory loss so I can see it afresh.

Any more sensible suggestions would be gratefully received.

Have let it loose on anyone else? Sometimes a fresh pair of eyes, still intact in the victim's face, works wonders.

Wow that sure is a monster of a short story. The longest calls Ive seen have limits of 10K.

I'd be happy to look at a few thousand words to see if the bagginess is right through the prose... but don't think I have the time to do a proper critique on all 17K

vanessa

Intact in victim's face...I like that.

Vanessa, you're right, it's a monster. Thanks very much for your kind offer to take a look. In a few weeks, that would be great. At the moment, I'm not sure it would be "legal"- it's for a course- I suspect unleashing the story on WriteWords might be seen as an unfair advantage. Though I admit it's a bit cheeky to ask people for "blind" advice.

Hi, without the text I don't know where you may be having problems but:

In Strunk & White (an online version is available here ) they give some great editing tips and show how you can cut down sentences. Look at 13 - Omit needless words. You also need to bear in mind to omit needless repetition of ideas or themes. There is a good page here as well which demonstrates this idea.

If you put up a little we might be better able to get a feel for where you could cut and then you could do the rest yourself. I'm sure that wouldn't be cheating

I just meant to add another thing too - you should look at each scene individually and ask two things - is this scene advancing the plot or is this scene advancing my character. If it is not advancing anything in the story then you should cut it out. If the scene is removed does it leave a hole in the plot - if it doesn't then it didn't need to be there in the first place. Any set-up's or necessary details could be added to another (necessary) scene.

Eve, thanks very much for such clear advice- and for the weblinks.
You've hit on a major fault of mine- over-repetition of themes. Not content with nudging the reader, I like to hit them with a hammer.
I'm too nervous to post pre-deadline, but I might post some of it afterwards (just to rub salt into my own wounds).

Thank you to everyone. Back to the keyboard...