Hi gang

Do you know that during my edit of my recent novel, I discovered that I used the exact same metaphor three times? The image was of a coat or a cloak flying out behind someone 'like a pair of tattered/ragged wings'.

Scanning through past work, I also found that I have used 'like a banshee's wail' in two seperate stories, one of which is due to be published.

I suppose stuff like this must be impossible for readers on WW to pick up, though it may be spotted by those in the world at large. Henceforth, I am going to keep a 'metaphor diary' to prevent this from happening in future, and of course, the 'ragged/tattered wings' have now been firmly clipped.

JB

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Apologies, two were metaphors, one was a similie I think, but you take my point.

You could always make a particular metaphor your trademark. Dostoyevsky was fond of using the phrase the oblique rays of the setting sun (in Russian, obviously). Maybe the banshee or the cloak could become your distinctive motif?

I'm a fast reader and I do notice repeats even if they are a long way from each other so I think you quite right about this JB. Just finished a book in which the snow was 'pristine' three times - not many but the snow was used in a cliched way throughout and this made it worse. It's not only metahphors is it? I find I use the same descriptive phrases over and over if I'm not careful. Latest one is 'She/he was silent for a moment'. I also noticed that someone's face or expression was 'grim' several times in the space of a few chapters. Now when I do a straight read-through before editing I make a list of any possible repeats and use WORD's 'find' facility to check how often and how close together they are.

Naomi

I think alot of people do this; I've noticed images repeated by novelists in different books, and I can remember one writer having two different characters doing the same action at different parts of the novel, but I couldn't work out if that was intended and I was missing some sort of message - though I doubt it.

My agent circled something on page 202 and wrote in red, 'good, but you used this on page 35' - I actually knew I'd done it and was just trying to get away with it again, but no.

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I agree, Naomi. My characters grin a helluva a lot. I've started using 'find; as well. My latest bugbear is the word 'suddenly' - a word I don't really like but it's so easy to reach for when you can't really be arsed. Not that I did anything meaningful with the 'find' facility apart from changing a few of the suddenlys to abruptlys. Just laziness.

If you go to the WW home page and scroll a long way down, you'll find a word frequency counter and a phrase frequency counter. They're very useful for a quick check.

Dee

Glad i'm not the only one who suffers from this.

It's amazing though, isn't it, how,on the whole, we can memorize which words we have written during the course of a 70,000 plus word novel. eg he pocketed, she staggered, she winked...any word other than the run of the mill done, sat, stood, smiled, walked, sighed, etc, i know straightaway whether i have used it before and whether the repetition matters.

Funny how it's easier to spot repeated words rather than metaphors, probably because the metaphors might repeat in a slightly different form.

My bugbears are leaning forward and smiling - all my characters do a lot of this.

Casey

Mine tend to 'give a wry smile' or 'nod thoughtfully'.

Thanks Dee, I forgot about that device, and will certainly use it in future. I'm going to scour my edit of I Was a Teenage Antichrist (which TA DA - now has a different title) for repeats and similarities. The wings thing has made me nervous, but that will only serve me in good stead.

JB

Yes, thanks Dee. I didn't know this existed.
Naomi

Those repeating metaphors can really get to you.

My nightmare is worse - not just 'have I used this before' but 'did someone else'?

Sarah

If my characters aren't grinning, then they're smiling or laughing. It's terrible. I really need to put some more woe into their lives!

And yes - I too have my favourite phrases and metaphors. I have to attack my work vigorously to make sure I don't overuse them!

Yes, I know I've got recurring images. One way of finding them is reading aloud - there's something about that that alerts you. I rarely use anything except 'said' for speech tags, so I'm safe there, and even more rarely often tag on an adverb, but my people do nod very often, and also clench their hands, which is a terrible cliché. I think it's from not wanting to tell how they're feeling, but show it, but I ought to be more clear-eyed and ruthless.

Sammy, that's good editing by your agent.

Emma

Emma that's spot on. I'm actually halfway through reading my edited novel out loud to my friend, and I can't stress how much it has helped in terms of polishing, but also serving as good practice in case I ever have to give a reading!

JB

"like a banshee's wail"

Yes, that sounds familiar to me. In many of my previous attempts at novels a character was incapable of shouting unless they became a Banshee. I now have an online thesorus on screen when I am writing. I type in a familiar metaphor and use a more attractcive alternative.

I try never to use a metaphor or simile that doesn't add something to the whole feel of the novel. Usually it's linking into patterns of ideas and images that I've planned or have already spotted emerging, but sometimes the metaphor is mainly about the speaker or narrator's state of mind.

I suppose what I'm saying is that a particular image will only get in if it has a second reason, as well as, 'it looks like that.' Tying metaphors that closely to the character and the moment does reduce the chances of you repeating yourself unconciously.

Emma

Indeed. I think I'm just developing a finer eye for my writing than I had previously. I suppose the more published one gets, the more fussy one becomes. I live in horror of making a literary mistake that I can't undo beyond the safe confines of WW!

JB