Katie this one's for you,

I'm having a problem with my synopsis. No matter how ever hard I try I just can't seem to get it right. Just look.

Feeling Gravity’s Pull – Synopsis

------ is about to make the biggest transition of his life. Standing far above the streets below, this is where he will finally let go. What has led him here to this point?

Waking from the comatose nightmare that is his life he realises that he has become the person he never wanted to be. He has given up every chance of happiness he ever had, beaten down by the everyday ordinary details of life. He is rage pure and simple, he is the nuclear bomb at the centre of his cool calm little universe.

His life is empty. Then one day he finds her, buried in the slurry of public access television and everything changes. But this is not a love story. This is a story about salvation, of self realisation, a story of hope.

Having never really known his father and losing his mother to cancer didn’t do it. It wasn’t nearly drowning as a child that did it. Nor was it surviving a mid air collision or a massive brain haemorrhage that did it. But each in its own way played a part in helping him come to terms with his life, in knowing that someday he is going to die and there is nothing he can do about it.

No longer satisfied with his piecemeal existence wasting away in front of the television, his fixation with her grows. And because it has to it becomes more. After watching her play at a club he begins to follow her.

Little does he know that his obsession will be the salvation of them both. Watching from afar as she slowly falls apart he must finally intervene to save her life when she decides to take her own. Even after she wakes from her coma he cannot bring himself to contact her, for fear of the unknown, for fear of rejection, because nothing is ever as perfect as you imagine it to be.

And so, after his haemorrhage, begins his slow titanic sink into the abyss. On his way down his life unravels and we see how he has come to this point here. The only contacts in his lifeless existence are his doctor and the strange nuisance caller who he confesses his deepest darkest secrets to. Piece by piece we witness the events that took place the night of the haemorrhage, until finally it all comes clear.

In a state of meltdown, as he wanders aimlessly, his brain suffocating in his own blood he calls her. Confused and near death he passes out. And so we learn that it was her that called the ambulance, her that has been calling all these months, her that has heard all his hidden stories. Lost in his own depths he resurfaces just in time to realise what has happened. And so he is standing here, way above the streets below to save her, to reach out and make the greatest transition of all. To transcend his fears and doubts, to see beyond, to learn to love the unknown.

Pathetic isn't it? How do you go about tackling this, what are agents looking for? You must have seen hundreds if not thousands, please, please, please can you give some good practical advice on this one? I'm fairly confident with my writing (though it's not to everyones taste) but I just can do synopses.

Please help.

Geoff

Give me time Geoff. I've tried to reply twice and twice the whole thing's wiped (I hate computers) and now I have to sort out some office stuff. But I'll get back to you.

Katie

ok, third time lucky, we hope.

Before I say anything else, I must point out that this is only one person's opinion. I'm going to be brutal and give my honest reaction, but I can't vouch for how other agents might respond.

Interestingly, your problem is one shared by many. It appears as though you've written the synopsis in the style of the book, and unless it's a comedy, I find this rarely works. The book will speak for itself when the time comes. In a synopsis it's information that I need.

So, my initial reaction to this is one of confusion. Who is this guy? Who's the girl? What genre are we talking about? Who is the book aimed at? What actually happens in the course of the two hundred and fifty pages you expect me to read? I'm afraid you haven't given me much to go on.

Right I'm posting this in stages to limit possible computer crises.

So onto specifics.

Standing far above the streets below, this is where he will finally let go.

As this rhymes it jars when read.

Having never really known his father and losing his mother to cancer didn’t do it. It wasn’t nearly drowning as a child that did it. Nor was it surviving a mid air collision or a massive brain haemorrhage that did it. But each in its own way played a part in helping him come to terms with his life, in knowing that someday he is going to die and there is nothing he can do about it.

This makes it sound REALLY depressing and is in conflict with the previous sentence describing the book as a story of hope. It's not a great incentive for me to read more. Of course all stories aren't happy but this isn't the stuff they'd want to put on the book jacket. Also, perhaps I'm being really stupid, but I don't get what the 'it' is that you're talking about. Again, it's lacking clarity.

No longer satisfied with his piecemeal existence wasting away in front of the television, his fixation with her grows. And because it has to it becomes more. After watching her play at a club he begins to follow her.

This works much better; you're giving me the information I need without it becoming dull or bullet pointed. Although I'm not sure about "And because it has to it becomes more". Aside from the grammar it's not really telling me anything. You need to be really strict with yourself. A synopsis obviously requires you to be succinct, so don't include anything that's not going to increase my interest.

As a general point, be careful with all these comas and haemorrhages. Out of context they're making the story sound very melodramatic, particularly as the everyday information just isn't there to balance it out.

I don't mean to imply that a synopsis should be souless and just give the bare facts. By all means embellish with explanations, jokes, character descriptions, whatever you want. But the basic information I need must be there, otherwise I can't make an informed judgement about whether or not this is something for me.

So, I hope that helps. If there's something that isn't clear about what I've said then let me know. Good luck with it.
Katie

Personally, I find writing the book easy, and the sysnopsis feels like a piece of school homework I must endure. It's the last thing I write, although in my head, it's forming towards the end of the novel. And I sit at the machine, bitching the whole time, while trying to figure out what to say, apart from that - I'm a happy bunny.

Hop Hop.

Steve

Hey, wait til you have to write a film treatment. Even worse. And no hopping after that, I can tell you.

This is really useful. Sorry if it's hurting you, Geoff, but seeing your synopsis dismembered in this way by someone who sees more than the rest of us would ever want to contemplate, is of tremendous help.
I understand what Steve is saying. When I have to write a synopsis (see that 'have'? I want to write whole books but the synopsis is a chore)... anyway, when I have to write one I find I suddenly revert back to a fourteen-year-old, chewing on a pencil, trying to write an essay about some boring old fart who did something not remotely interesting.
I think there is a whole new career waiting for someone who can write synopses to order (there must be someone, surely?). They could become rich overnight... wish I could do that...
Dee.

Hi Elspeth,

I can write a first-class Synopsis with Instant Appeal, 'Sock-it-to-them-Qualities', a promise of Megabucks to come. Now, if I were to complete this Synopsis would you be prepared to write the book in my name? We both know that this will be the easy part, but I am prepared to go 50/50 with the proceeds.

By the way it is nice to meet another 'Expert' in Information Technology.

Regards,

Len

Credit where credit's due here: I think between them Katioe and Geoff have run a kind of masterclass in synopsis prepping.

It's made me think again. And after Katie's work here, I'm beginning to regret Slush Pile. Aaaghh!

Richard

<Added>

Katioe???? God. It gets worse: now I need a masterclass in comment prepping.

Katie you are a star,

When I posted that comment I wasn't expecting anything so detailed. I thank you sincerely.

I didn't take any offence and wasn't upset at all. I freely admitted it was poo to begin with.

I will be taking all you points into account and draughting up a new version shortly.

I do have a tendency to want to withold information from the reader until the last and I think I attempted to do the same with the synopsis. No more!

I think Richard also has a point so if I hack out another attempt would you be interesting in picking it apart again? I really don't mind people commenting on my work in a harsh way and I think that many other people here would benefit from some a process. Afterall that's why we all signed up.

Apologies noe if you suddenly get bombarded by hundreds of requests, sorry!

Geoff

<Added>

I really should read my posts through before submitting them, doh!

Ah Geoff, a braver man than I! Very probably a better writer too.

Pip! Pip! 'Best --

Richard

Guys,
There is a group specifically for synopsis and outlines, although it seems to have disappeared from the group page. It's been a bit quiet lately so it would be nice if someone could post something new.
Katie, it would be great if you could also cast your eye over the work already uploaded, although I suppose that might be a bit like going to work for you!!

Gina.

A group to help out with this sort of thing sounds like a good idea Gina.
I do look at things in the archive when I get the chance, but I already have a lot of hard copies in the office demanding my attention (some of which are from members of this website) so I can't really spend too much time online, unfortunately. But if you've got something specific you'd like me to take a look at, let me know, and I'll see what I can do.
Katie

If you want to cast your eye over this synopsis, any feedback would be appreciated.

http://www.writewords.org.uk/archive/1681.asp

Would it be worth my while to send this to you 'officially'? If it's not the sort of stuff you want, fair enough.

Thanks.

Gina