Just got a letter from a helpful agent at a well-known UK agency, about my children's book (for the 8-12s). She'd asked to look at the full ms after seeing the first few chapters.

Her letter points out what's wrong with the novel - "I felt you simply weren't making the most of the story you were telling. There are several areas where a promising storyline is allowed to fade away... Throughout the story you introduce potentially intriguing ideas and then fail to return to them or explain them in a satisfying way... There's such a lot of potential here, but at the moment this is a book with big possibilities which seems to be reluctant to take flight."

On reflection, I think she's absolutely right. But I'm scared! I've had a few ideas for how the novel might be developed, but I can't seem to make myself begin writing. I'm afraid of losing what's good about it - or just getting in a big muddle. Any advice would be very, very much appreciated.

Frances

Hi Frances,
As it sounds like it's worth pursuing and the agent has pointed out vague problems but perhaps not been as specific/detailed as you'd like, have you considered using a freelance editor? You could get a detailed report for, as far as I know, decent rates (depends who you ask and how long the manuscript is). Perhaps that would give you some specific areas to look at and help you get started.
Best of luck,
Myrtle

Thank you, Myrtle - this is a very good suggestion, but for maybe a bit further down the line. I'd like to generate some more stuff first. Because the problem isn't that the agent hasn't been specific (she has) or that I can't see clearly what she means (I can). It's just fear. So anyway, I've had an idea - this afternoon I've been reading 'The Artist's Way' by Julia Cameron and tomorrow I think I'll start writing 'morning pages' as she recommends, with the hope of loosening up a bit, generating more scenes and ideas, not worrying too much about fitting things into my existing structure for the time being.

Am I answering my own question? Or deluding myself?

Frances

I think that sounds like a great plan.

M.

Thanks, Myrtle!

Frances

Frances, I think you've answered your own question - I suspect half the time, that's what forums (fora?) are for. To have recognised that it's fear, not some external thing, is such a step forward. Good luck with The Artist's Way, it's a great book. (Pity 'great's lost it's oomph as a word. I really do mean Great).

For myself, I find reducing a big re-write to a detailed list of small things to do really helps. I work through the MS, and concentrate on practical details. Instead of trying and failing to tackle 'make the first half more compelling', I find I really can bear to work out how to 'make X notice how Y feels at the beginning of this scene, not the end', and that's not so hard...

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But I really don't mean it's - I mean its. I blame the wine - even word-nerds like me trip up

Thanks, Emma, for your advice and good suggestions. I started thinking in and around the novel this morning, writing three stream-of-consciousness pages, and was surprised by the amount of new material generated - ideas for extending scenes, a new scene, even a new character popped up. The novel was very short before, but at this rate draft 2 will be twice the length!

I've been wondering how much my writing of short stories over recent years has been training me to write in a condensed, elliptical, allusive way, not really suitable for a children's novel. Has anyone else had this problem, or do you know what I'm talking about? Are the (adult) short story and the children's book almost opposing disciplines?

Frances

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Now realise I should have started this thread in the Technique forum, not the Getting Published Forum. Duh.

I don't write for children but I do have them.

Frances, I don't know if you've come across it, but Joan Aiken wrote the Way to Write for Children in the very good The Way to Write series (used to be Elmtree, but I think Penguin took it over). I haven't read it for years, but I think she said the only two things you couldn't put in were sex (suspect that's not true anymore) and flashbacks. I suspect it is true of flashbacks and other narrative complications - they take what the theorists call 'narrative competence' to work out, and children are only in the process of developing that. Perhaps the same goes for other ellipticalnesses (elipticalities? elliptions? ellipses? No, they're different).

Even in adult fiction I'm struggling at the moment to decide what to do about some things (plot, image, backstory, character) which I thought were clear but subtle, but my editor just doesn't get and wants much more clearer. I'm not sure if adult short fiction and children's fiction are opposing, exactly - I think it would depend on what your adult sh. fic. is like. But having a child narrator, or at least focalising (ghastly word) through a child might sort out the way your material is presented to the reader?

Emma

Emma

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Much more clearer? My editor's head hasn't woken up yet.

Frances, if you find your storylines are fading, you could try what I do when I'm editing.

I reduce the manuscript to single spacing, print it out on both sides of the paper, then put it in a report folder to hold it together. This gives me a different view of the writing – an inkling of what it would look like in book form. It has the same effect as uploading work onto here; you suddenly see things you’ve been missing before.

Then I read it several times, each time with a specific task in mind; are the characters consistent? have I dropped a thread, left a loose end? Are the threads logical, believable, fully developed and fully woven together? Is the timeline correct?

I make notes in the margins as I’m going, but I don’t change anything until I'm sure I've picked up all the amendments needed, and that none of them contradict each other. I end up with a mass of notes which I incorporate into the manuscript. And then I print it out and read it again.

It may sound like a laborious process, but I find it very satisfying.

Good luck.

Dee

Frances,

As I got to the end of my novel, I found myself getting inexplicably jittery. I did everything to avoid writing where up to then I enjoyed every minute. I couldn't understand why but then I realised that I was afraid of reaching the stage where I would have to send it out for judgement by harsh, impersonal eyes. As long as I was writing, I was in control but once I finished then I was handing over control to others.

The best way I found to keep going was to tell myself that I want to live my life with no regrets. I don't want to say to myself "if only I had..." If I try my best and fail, there's no shame in that but there is shame in not trying at all for fear of failure. That said, it's not an easy thing.

All the best,

Ashlinn

Emma, yes, my child narrator has been a BIG help - but I still need to make a push to develop my storylines and follow through with ideas. With short stories, I feel almost anything can be sort of flung in there and left to resonate, hopefully.

Thanks to you - and thank you, Dee and Ashlinn!

ps completely off the point, today I was standing reading Roald Dahl's The Witches in Ottakar's. Someone told me ages ago that it opens with 'All women are witches and should be burned'. Although this sounded unlikely, I'd never bothered to check - in fact half way down the second page he says 'All witches are women', and takes pains to stress that 'Most women are lovely, but...' So that's a relief.