It's in the shops now. 'Ten Fantasies' by Abi Titmuss. I started reading in WH Smith's at Liverpool Street, but the store detective began looking at me like I was a pervert (ahem). So tomorrow I'm going in, head held high, to buy it like a true consumer.

Joe

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Yes, Ani, her name is her name, as far as I know. She's from Lincolnshire.

Joe

Hmm, I just looked this up on Amazon - I had never heard of Abi Titmuss before, but now I realise that hers is a household name; however I don't think Titmuss is really her family name.... ;-)

Hold yer head up, Jo!

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Joe

Ani - Not heard of her? Trawl the archives. Some of us got quite interested in Ms T's writing ability a while ago. And Titmuss is a good Lincolnshire name. Have you not been glued to Celeverity Live Idland? I wall hold my head up high as I fumvle red-faced for that ten pound note in my trokser pocket.
Joe

Are you pulling my leg about the name, or is it really for real? (Which, of course, is substantially different from 'for real' - hrrmph.)

I preferred your first subject heading for this posting! The book sounds so awful that I feel like buying it! Is that the psychology?


Jane

What are the ten fantasies?

1) To get a load of dash of crappy newspapers for doing nothing more than getting my tits out.

2) Acting like the most horrendous two faced tart on a dullard reality show.

3) Appearing in a homemade porn film. Feeling enough shame to build a career off the back of it.

4) Being generally stupid.

5)Being about as literate as your grandma's cardigan.

6) Lowering the tone at every available oppurtunity.

7) Becoming a page three 'goddess' for a nation of chavs.

8)Thinking I'm about fifty times more attractive than I actually am.

9) for 9 and 10 see number 4.

Jb

I read the archives on this new novelist - and found the discussion very interesting. I think the resentment she evokes (OK, lets admit it!) is simply the fact that with "successes" such as this publishers in a way are cocking a snoot at serious writers - those of us who work for years and years and years perfecting our craft, who swallow one rejection after the other, one dismissal after another (based on no more than a fleeting glance at our hard work); who turn over every last word inthe hopes of finding the perfect way to bring our stories to life.

Oh, I don't blame her; I wish I had a pound for every time someone says (as she does) "I always wanted to write a novel", presuming it's the easiest thing in the world, they just don't have the time (like the rest of us lazy bums!). None of the other arts is quite like this; even if we'd love to be able to play the violin, no-one thinks it's just a matter of picking up a violin and hey presto, we're a musician. Somehow, because we all use the tools of the writer (words), it seems, for the onlooker, to be the easiest of the arts, and that's why so many celebrities try their hand at it (With a little help from their publisher).

Publishinhg is a business and I suppose when they (publishers) jump all over someone like Abi just because of her name, while ignoring us lesser writing mortals, it's all part of the game.

That's fair comment. I don't resent her 'success' as this kind of writing is a different form than that produced by the toiling masses of unknowns. It's not necessarily worse or better just different. I like your point about comparing novel writing to other art forms. Maybe Abi will win the Olympics next to broaden her profile, that must be quite easy too!

Jane

oh I don't resent it at all. Her book will go nicely in my collection of expensive toilet paper.

JB

WriteWords Colleagues - yes, I started this in jocularity and then came the events of 7/7. I passed through Liverpool Street Station twice today (and Waterloo) on my way to and from work, but I didn't feel "ironical" enough to go and lay good money down for 10 Fantasies - next week, maybe.

But it's a serious issue. Sharon wrote:

"even if we'd love to be able to play the violin, no-one thinks it's just a matter of picking up a violin and hey presto, we're a musician."

Quite - I play fiddle, and pretty well as it happens, but I aint about to try and pass myself off as Ishtak Perlman (spelling?) or (in my genre) Bruce Molsky. So, yes, it is annoying. And it's pretty clear that we're dealing with a 'ghost' here - although no doubt someone will claim that we should give her the benefit of the doubt. To be honest, if I'd been asked to 'ghost' it (some chance - I would have written about having my own shed, and having a sufficient supply of matchsticks to finish my scale model of Clarence House), then I would have jumped at the chance.

But James, your version of the 10 anti-commandments rang the bell I usually reserve for my night nurse. Ani, thanks, I liked it the 'handle' too, but I woke up in the middle of the night thinking I was giving another hostage to fortune. So thanks to David Bruce for accommodating me.

Peace

Joe

Peace

Jim