just received the following rejection. be interested to know what you guys think. a standard line, or do you think he was genuinely torn? ironically, 'quietly moving' was precisely what i was aiming for. i didn't want the horrible sentimentality of, say, 'the lovely bones' - though id clearly love her sales!

"Many thanks for your patience, and for letting me read all of your novel. The reason I've been slow in getting back to you is that this was a really difficult decision for me. You write very well and your characterisation of the main protagonists is very polished. The story is a very interesting one, and I think you've managed to avoid cliche and easy choices.

But in the end I just didn't feel the novel quite had the power it would need to punch its way into the hearts of commissioning editors and their colleagues. Of course the story is about life and death issues, but the novel itself didn't seem to be a matter of life and death - it's quietly moving and a work to admire, but i don't think it quite rips at the heart as it might.

I'm so sorry to be saying no - but if you fail to place this with another agent I'd certainly be pleased to see your next work.

Many thanks again, for getting in touch and for being patient.

with best wishes"

Hi Sam, I'd say that the agent you mention does sound genuinely torn. Most of these people are extremely busy and don't have the time to write consoling words if they don't mean them. However, if you think their criticism about insufficient punch might be right, and you want to work with them, I would consider beefing up your book, then telling them that you've incorporated their suggestions and asking if they would be willing to read it again. Agents all want good books that will make them money, and it sounds as if, with some fine-tuning, you could provide that.

Best of luck.

Adele.

Oh that's definitely not a standard line... I've written a few rejection letters in my time and this sounded most genuine to me. Standard is 'It's not quite right for us at this time'... full stop, yours sincerely etc... This agent has taken some time and tried to give you a glimmer of hope (and has obviously read the manuscript! you can tell when they haven't because they're vague as hell). Take the glimmer, take heart, and go with your instinct.

Myrtle

You could try sending it out to a couple more agents and see if you get the same reaction. On the other hand, if you have a strong preference for this particular agent, ask if they’ll read it again after you’ve added a little punch.

Good luck. It’s a very positive sign to get this close.

Dee

Yes, I'd say it was very positive to get that close. Congratulations! If it were me, I would write back, saying thank you very much for taking so much trouble, and you'll send the next one. I think if he/she'd been willing to have another look at this they would have said - even such a detailed letter won't list all their reservations - and you don't want to blot your copybook for the next one by seeming to be the kind of tiresome amateur writer who won't take no for an answer. On the other hand, if you do something that sounds drastic to it - send it to an editorial service, work on it at an Arvon course or whatever - so that you can honestly say it's really different, it might be worth writing and asking if they'd give it another look.

But in the cause of self-preservation, do bear in mind that if they have another look and turn it down, in some ways it's even worse. Recently I did some major revision for a very nice and well-respected agent, who in several long, detailed conversations gave no indication that we weren't settling in for a long-term commitment. Then she very apologetically rejected it after all: she said 'I realised that everything that I so passionately loved about the book was in the last third of it'. I think it's the most shattering rejection I've ever had, though I've since realised that she was right, in that what she loved about the book weren't the best or most interesting aspects of it. Still, at the time it was much, much worse than 'thanks but no thanks'.

But I hope you've taken this vote of confidence in your work to heart: it's the kind of thing that keeps one going.

Emma

Sorry to hear that, Emma, it must have been awful. I hope that Clare Alexander is taking better care of you.

Adele.

She's great, and incredibly clear-thinking and efficient. I have a contract, and Shadows in the Glass went out to eight editors this week, and the rights department have copies so they can do their thing. Fingers crossed...
E

Emma, best of luck! Surely that should more than make up for your previous disappointment.

Adele

Hope so. It's been interesting, because after Laura Longrigg rejected it, I did a mass-submission on the same day (like getting straight back on your horse) of 7 major agents, all with exactly the submission they asked for, CV, SAE etc., and all with a letter quoting a personal recommendation from friends in the trade who knew them and I could honestly say also know my work. That was in mid-April, and to this day, I've only heard back from 3 of them. Clare was much the quickest, though she did say it was partly because her assistant was away, and she was opening her own post, and saw the name of the friend who'd recommended me, so she read it straight away instead of putting it in a pile for her assistant to sift when he got back. I'm still pinching myself to see if it's all really happening, after all my years of trying. Still got to sell it though...

Emma

Good luck Emma.
Joe

Hi Sammy,

I don't know whether to congratulate you or commiserate with you on getting so close. In your shoes, I would take the comments the agent made at face value. It sounds like he wrote what he believes. In consolation, remember that personal taste counts for a lot. I have never yet found a book, literary or commercial blockbuster, which achieved universal acclaim.

I think you need to assess the truth of the comments you recieved from the agent. Is his opinion likely to be one that is widely shared or is he looking for more 'action' than your ideal reader? If you don't accept the validity of what he is saying, then try sending it out to a number of other agents. If his opinion strikes you as irritatingly true then you have to assess if it is possible to rewrite your novel taking this into account.

I am in a similar position and it's good to hear how other people cope. I sent out my novel in November last year to ten agents. Three agents asked for the full ms. I sent it to Gregory and Co. who rejected it. They said lots of nice things but said that one aspect of it (a subplot) "appears superficial and one-dimensional". After taking a day to digest my dissapointment I realised they were right. I spent 3/4 months rewriting and I know deep down that I have improved my book. Whether I improved it enough is another question.

Last month I sent it out to 10 more agents plus the two who asked for the full ms ages ago. Two more agents asked for the full thing. Now I am waiting for replies from them and from day to day, I swing between buoyant optimism and despondant fatalism. This is so much tougher than writing.

Very, very good luck with the latest round, Ashlin! And thanks, Joe.
Emma

Hi Sammy
I was really interested to read your query because I had something very similar about a year ago. This one said to me that she 'agonised' over taking me on and a few years back would have done ....but now she was just too busy to commit to something she isn't 100% passionate about. I wasn't sure, like you, whether this was kind flannel (although this agent has a reputation for being really ruthless and horrible. I kind of had an image of Frasier's agent in mind!. I do sympathise - not sure if that makes it even harder or not, the getting close. Then I had with a second agent! So now I'm sticking with paid advice before I submit anything again. Good luck - you'll get there in the end so don't stop believing that.

I wouldn't be so keen to pass this off. Perhaps call the agent for a further discussion, and talk about what you're going to do to make the book that little bit punchier. Agents and publishers love writers that are flexible. Then, if you don't get that bite, ask to resubmit once the editing has been done.

JB