Sorry to resurrect this thread, but it is still raising problems for me and I want to finish it off one way or another.

My trial membership eventually elapsed and because of the vitriol which this thread ultimately exposed me to, I decided not to go ahead with full membership. I didn't want to get into any more unpleasantness but every now and then I still get a private message from a WW member regarding this thread, and Dee's "Gripes" thread--which I can no longer access as the Lounge forum is now for full members only.

Recently most of those messages have been very nice. But over the last week I received a couple more private messages from WW members who have decided to berate me for upsetting Dee so.

I do think that the record needs putting straight. I did ask Dee to do this but she hasn't (my membership was expiring and due to computer problems I couldn't access the board fully), and I'm still getting those nasty messages. To sort this out once and for all, here are the private messaged which Dee and I exchanged at the time which do, I hope, explain what we both were thinking and feeling at the time.

Now, please, no more private messages to me on this subject. I didn't mean to upset Dee, she misunderstood me, and that's all.

Here are the messages:



Dee,

I can tell you are upset with me (yes, I know that's an understatement but I'm attempting to keep this calm), and to be honest I feel the same way about you right now. You jumped to the wrong conclusion, and now I am having to deal with the fall-out.

I got back onto the site briefly last night, but now can't at all--I am sending this from a friend's computer.

As I don't know if I will get back on before my trial month expires, I wanted to give you a way to contact me if you care to. Here's my email address if you want to use it:

[email address removed]

I can at present get emails from that address, so we will be able to communicate if I can't get back to the WW board again.

I had decided to sign up for full membership but this nastiness has made me reconsider that decision. I might yet join, but I'm not sure that WW is a comfortable place for me to be any more because you got so angry with me. Any chance of a reconcilliation, do you think? Or of you realising that you jumped to the wrong conclusions in a truly spectacular way?

Jane



Jane, hi, I appreciate you contacting me.

Part of the problem is that you don’t know what’s been happening on the site over the past couple of months before you joined – and there’s no reason why you should, but it’s left a few of us feeling sore. We’ve had some trouble with trolls – not that I’m saying you’re one… I’m definitely not saying that! They caused me, in particular, a great deal of distress after I’d given them a lot of help. This has left me wary of trial members.

You’ve probably realised by now that WW is very high on my agenda. I invest a great deal of time in it because, in my opinion, it’s the best site on the net for interacting with other writers. So, in the way that a pendulum swings, I get incredibly pissed off when I think someone is taking liberties. And, be fair, I wasn’t the only one.

WW is a big community now. We have lots of fun and a few spats. We make friends and sometimes we fall out. I feel that you wouldn’t have gone to the trouble of contacting me if you didn’t want to sign up with WW? Am I right? One of the reasons I was so angry was that you had been very active on the site. I could see that you have skills and experience that would make you a great member.

Don’t let this spat put you off joining the site. Most of the members won’t even have noticed it. I’d like to draw a line under it and move on. How about you?

Dee

Dee

I am just online again, after a day or two of email-only connection. I did give you my email address in my previous message, so you have it if you feel you need it. I won't be able to come back here after tomorrow to read any more private WW messages.

I have just read several WW messages which were waiting for me, having been sent to me from other WW posters. Most of them are very angry with me for leading you on the way you think I did; a couple were rude to me about it; and one person was downright offensive, if not abusive. And a couple of people have added to your comments on the "agents" thread and the "gripes" thread, mostly haranguing me. I have become the focus of all sorts of rudeness and hate-mail because you read a posting of mine (which I'll admit wasn't as clear as it could have been, but I had been trying to make that posting for nearly two hours at the time, because of my computer issues) and misunderstood it, then posted a reply without stopping to think of what you were doing.

You even admit in your "gripes" thread that you had been drinking at the time, and so were harsher than you would normally have been.

Your assurances that "Most of the members won’t even have noticed it" don't really seem appropriate now, as so many of them obviously have, and have taken it upon themselves to have a go at me as a result.

Your comment that you'd "like to draw a line under it and move on" is something I would like too. Sadly, things have gone too far for that now. If you had made some effort to resolve this as publicly as you started it then I could see a resolution: perhaps a comment on my thread that perhaps you over-reacted and should maybe have considered your response a little first? Or a comment that you were a little "tired and emotional" at the time and perhaps misjudged the situation? Better still, a posting that you regretted the offence you caused to me, and realised that your comments were uncalled for.

Anyway, it's too late now. My membership expires tomorrow and I won't be coming back to WW after all of this. Too many people now think very badly of me because of this, and that's got to impact on how they treat me in future, even if you do make an apology.

And please don't dismiss me as another troublesome newbie. I really liked WW, I really liked you, and I really wanted to become part of things. I had no intention of making trouble, or of taking advantage. It's a big shame that it has all fallen apart so spectacularly, and for such a silly, silly reason.

Sorry to sound so harsh and unforgiving. But I am upset. This has taken a lot away from me, and I really don't think that I did anything to deserve any of it.

Jane

END

So are you back, or leaving, or left or...

???

Colin M

But over the last week I received a couple more private messages from WW members who have decided to berate me for upsetting Dee so.

and

I'm still getting those nasty messages.

Jane,

I have no knowledge of anyone sending you any such messages so I don’t know who they are from. I do know that the admin team take a very dim view of anyone using the site to send offensive messages so you should refer them to David Bruce. Alternatively, you can forward these messages to me via WWmail and I will talk to the members concerned.

Dee

I do hope this gets sorted. Misunderstandings do happen over the internet that wouldn't happen face to face. so I think it natural for Dee to get upset about 'trolls' etc. But Jane clarified matters and that should have been the end of it. I am upset to hear that Jane has been harassed by Pms on this subject. even with well-meaning motivations by those people that was uncalled for.

It's sad to see someone like Jane not want to be part of this community. she brings knowledge, skill and vivaciousness with her and I for one would and have missed her presence here. Just like I would Dee too, were the situation reversed.

I hope people doing this can stop and everyone can get on with more productive things.

Jane, Jai is absolutely right, this is a dreadful thing to have happened and you must contact David and name names imediately. The only issue that we had with trolls that I'm aware of occured about 15 months ago and was very nasty and quite scary and did effect Dee directly. I didn't realise there had been any since. I do hope you reconsider your decision and stay online with us. All the very best.

Jubbly