no no no NO NO!

What you have to do is tread a very fine line between I’m serious about becoming a published writer and I’m new to this so please give me a bit of slack because I really want YOU to be my agent.

They regard gimmicks such as coloured paper and unusual fonts as unprofessional. I think a saucy postcard falls into the same category and is more likely to get your chapters posted straight back without being read.

You must have a WHS or a Staples or a Jowett & Sowry? If you’re really stuck, I’ll get you some from our local Staples and post them to you!

Dee

Sorry, EP

Only kidding. Honest. Honest.

j xx

Oh phew!

x

Jumbo - snap! except I sent mine out in September. I had a rejection by email (although I included an international reply coupon) and am 'waiting for' 2 more. I guess I've given up/moved on in my head, and am working on other things (not having even started a second edit!)
Err, I don't think that was very helpful, but just to let you know you're not the only one!

Elspeth

Okay, no silly postcards.

hmmm


(thinking)

Got it!!!

Enclose a bottle of champagne and a note saying "Get ready to crack this open, Baby, cos when you read this your gonna be celebrating BIG TIME!!"

Include a few kisses too - that should do the trick.

Colin M
(still unpublished)

Elspeth

Thanks for that. And good luck with the ones you're 'waiting for'.

All the best x

Colin

Thanks for the suggestion. I'll let you know!

Regards

jumbo

Hi Jumbo,
Just wondered if you'd heard back yet. I'm still waiting for two. Them there slush piles must be awful high...
E

Hi, E,

Thanks for asking - it took them 101 days to return the MS - with a very non-committal standard letter.

Since then I've had three further rejections - but I have another three submissions out there somewhere awaiting a response.

And one unanswered preliminary enquiry by enmail (sent 12 days ago).

Here's a question. Why do Agents supply their email addresses (in publications such as The Writer's Handbook [is that apostrophe actually in the right place?])if they don't have the courtesy to reply to the emails I send them?

So there you are. Nothing ne. But do I care? Well .....

How about you? Any news?

j xx

Jumbo. That is a long time to wait for just a synopsis and sample chapters. Here's some stats I've collected personally from submissions of my last effort:

Curtis Brown - 2 Days - Personal Letter stating that their young adult list is closed until November.

Annette Green - 3 Days - Unsigned return slip

Conville & Walsh - 4 Days - Photocopied, but signed, letter

Elizabeth Roy - 4 Days - Unsigned return slip

Juvenilia - 4 Days - Photocopied, but signed, letter

DLA - 6 Days - Signed return slip

Maggie Noach - 7 Days - Signed letter

David Grossman - 10 Days - Signed letter

Darley Anderson 10 Days Photocopied, but signed, letter

LAW - 3 ½ Weeks - Photocopied, but signed, letter

PFD - 5 Weeks - Photocopied, but signed, letter

Eddison Pearson - 5 Weeks - Photocopied, but signed, letter

Caroline Sheldon - 6 ½ Weeks - Photocopied, but signed, letter


There was also an agent who took four days to reply and asked for the full manuscript. This took 8 weeks to read and reject with an encouraging letter, and 7 weeks to read and reject the rewrite.

I'm back at stage one again.

Fun, innit?



Colin M

Thanks, Colin

...and a couple more ...

Artellus - 68 days - handwritten note across my letter
Michael Alcock - 101 days - copy of standard letter - signed
Darley Anderson - 9 days - copy of standard letter - signed

Lorella Belli - 38 days - no response as yet

Bell Lomax - no reply from my enquiry email of 13 days ago

I also had contact with an agent who was almost gushing about one of my novels. He asked for the full manuscript, showed it to his business partner - and then rejected the whole thing as being totally unbelievable!

As you say - fun, innit?

All the best

John

The Teresa Chris Agency do that thing with putting a note on the bottom of your own letter. I didn't like this at first, but compared to a standard, photocopied rejection slip, it's nice to think that a human being has sat down and put some time into writing a personal reply.

Two rejections arrived this morning.

Give them their dues; perhaps my book is just shite!



Colin M

I submitted my first manuscript yesterday and this morning Steven Spielberg rang my front door bell and begged me to accept £100 million for the film rights.

Hang on, that's not the doorbell it's the alarm clock...

Doh!

J