Hi all,

Having spent the last four years on my first novel I'm now at the point where I am seeking representation.

Below is my first stab at an unsolicited covering letter. I would be very grateful of any and all comments or suggestions on how to improve it.

Thanks

GB

______________________________________

Dear X,

I would like to submit my novel for your attention as I am currently looking for representation.

Felix Shill Deserves to Die is a piece of contemporary, literary fiction. Set over three days, it tells the story of Felix Shill who, having been presumed dead following a terrorist attack on London, seizes the opportunity to start a new life. In order to do this, he decides to visit, and hopefully lay to rest, several ghosts from his troubled past.

Felix Shill is my first novel and has taken me four years to write. Many of the situations in the book, including the traumatic events of the first chapter, were taken directly from my own experiences.

From 2004–2007 I lived in Stockholm, Sweden, where the long, dark winters proved to be the perfect environment for writing. It also inspired my second book – an illustrated children’s story tentatively entitled ‘The Land of the Bland’ – which I am currently working on.

I have enclosed a brief synopsis of Felix Shill, along with the first three chapters, so that you can get a more detailed understanding of my work. Any feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Yours sincerely,

Y

Hi GB,
It's a good letter, but I would not mention a) that it took you four years to write or b) that you're currently writing a children's book. An agent is looking for someone who can write a book every year/two years, and someone who can produce more of the same.
The agent would like to know the length of your book up front, so put the word count in there.
Might be helpful to italicise or bolden the title of your novel.
Finally:

I would like to submit my novel for your attention as I am currently looking for representation.

This is a bit repetitive - just: 'I would like to submit my novel for your attention.' would be enough.
You can email your covering letter to Writers Workshop for free feedback, by the way.
Best of luck with it,
Susiex

It is brief and to the point but i agree, don't mention it took you four years to write.

I'm also not sure about saying it is taken from your own experiences as first novels are often notoriously autobiographical and this is not always seen as a good thing. Maybe you would phrase it in a more detached way eg 'I feel qualified to write about this because...'

I'm also not sure i'd ask for feedback, most agents just haven't got the time with their own clients to worry about. I'd just say something like 'I hope you enjoy reading these chapters and look forward to hearing from you.'

I like the bit about the long dark winters!

good luck.

The others have already made very good points. Below is the edited version:


I would like to submit my GENRE novel TITLE, WORD COUNT for your consideration.

Set over three days, the novel follows the story of Felix Shill who, having been presumed dead following a terrorist attack on London, seizes the opportunity to start a new life. But first he must lay to rest several ghosts from his troubled past.

I enclose a brief synopsis and the first three chapters, plus an SAE. Thank you for your time.


Yours sincerely,

Y


Alternatively enclose a small SAE for their reply, and say you are happy for them to recycle the paper.


- NaomiM

<Added>

I like the bit about the long dark winters!

Mention of sweden and winters echos the current popularity in Wallenberg's work. Personally would leave this paragraph out. If your book is similar to any of the Swedish literary novels, then compare to a couple of these authors, rather than have the 'jokey' line which doesn't really add anything about the novel itself.

<Added>



There is a Synopsis and Outline Group if you would like feedback on your synopsis.


And a belated: Welcome to WriteWords.

If you'd like any help navigating the site feel free to ask.

<Added>

I should have added: it sounds like an interesting story.

Hi GB and welcome to WriteWords.

Agreeing with everyone. You need to say the genre, but don't slip into calling it a 'literary fiction novel' as an amazing number of tyro writers do. Novels are fiction, by definition...

If the book were set at least partly in Sweden, I'd put in that you'd lived there, so they knew that, hopefully, it's authentically observed. Otherwise I agree, it's not relevant.

Emma

Personally I dislike the 'literary fiction' tag, as it gives an untried novel pretentions of grandure - there is nothing wrong with commmercial fiction.
'Contemporary fiction' would probably be a better description.
It is up to the Agent and the readers to determine if it is good enough to qualify for the 'literary' term.



- NaomiM

WOW!

Thanks for the speedy (and insightful) responses! I wasn't expecting them! That means I have no reason for not doing anything now. Bugger!

For those of you that are interested I have uploaded the first chapter (somewhere - bear with me, I'm new).

I'll drop my synopsis into the maelstrom at the weekend.

Thanks again.

GB

There is space in the Synopsis & Outline Group if you'd like to join and upload your synopsis there:

http://www.writewords.org.uk/groups/80.asp


- NaomiM

I like the long dark nights thing too - it makes it slightly less impersonal and gives it a nice feel. I personally find Naomi's version workmanlike but a little too stripped down which makes it strike me less and feel less interested...

I thought it was basically a good letter and just a bit of tweaking will do it.

Is there a connection between this book and where you were living so you can keep those lines? I agree to take out autobiographical and I would leave in the literary fiction genre thing (if that's how you see it) because I think this is conventional and would be expected and doesn't mean you are dissing commercial at all (as a person who agrees with Noams that commercial isn't "less" but disagree therefore that the agent has to decide if it is good enough to be literary. You can have a novel that is plonking itself firmly in the literary fiction genre that is bad. As much as any of these genres make any sense anyway (which I don't really think they do...but, as I said, I think they will expect you to define the genre.)

Snowy's right, my version is rather sterile as I was cutting stuff out rather than adding to it. Sometimes it is best to go with bland and functional rather than give an agent an obvious reason to reject you. However, if you can add a touch of humour to it then go for it.

I think use of the term 'Literary Fiction' as opposed to 'Contemporary Fiction' (which has a more commercial bent to it) largely depends on how you have defined your novel - what is it about this novel that distinguishes it from Contemporary Fiction?
I think you need to be careful that you are not giving the Agent the wrong impression about it. I don't believe there is any extra cashet for Literary Fiction over Contemporary Fiction, and in fact it may well limit the number of Agents you can submit it to.
To achive the widest possible exposure, I would use 'Literary Fiction' for those Agents who list it under their specialities, and 'Contemporary Fiction' for those Agents who prefer commercial fiction.


- NaomiM

<Added>

Maybe 'Humour' is the wrong word. 'Personality' would be better.