The query letter debate continues....

I know there has been much discussion on this site already about what constitutes a 'good' query letter. Whilst the exact qualities seem to remain elusive when it comes to defining them, I have come accross a few examples of what not to write, at least in my opinion.

I have written to many authors and Publishers, the TV and press, even Max Clifford, but no one seems interested in reading my story; so here I am writing to you.

I don't think I really need to explain why this approach probably won't do you many favours....And as an opening sentence, it's hardly whetting my appetite. On to number two.

I have hundreds of short stories and some longer ones, as well as material for three or four novels. I write largely on my experiences, which I can outline briefly below.

In this case, I don't have enough information to make an informed decision. It's a perfectly nice, polite letter, but it just doesn't tell me what I need to know. And so to number three.

Well, I can charm the stains out of breeches. I'm tall, dark and rakishly handsome, or alternatively, twenty-two, blonde, with a terrific body and a filthy mind. Well no, sorry, I'm not. I lied, except for the filthy mind, but ***** is an exciting action adventure story

This has definitely got my attention, and it stands out from the crowd. It might nor be appropriate to everyone's taste, but I'm willing to go along with it for the moment. However by the end of the letter I'm slightly exhausted by all the

Take me on. Give me a chance. Promote my work. Mickelise my muckle

etc. It's enthusiastic and fun, but ends up trying too hard. You shouldn't have to beg...

So there you have a brief selection from this morning's post. And by the way, I've quoted these authors exactly as they wrote to me, so if anyone knows what a muckle is or how one mickelises it, I'd be grateful. I should also point out, that despite these reactions to the letters, I'd still try to look at their work with an open mind. But there's no doubt that it can affect how you approach a piece.

Katie

'Many a mickle maks a muckle' is a scottish saying - it means A lot of littles makes a large - except the saying sounds better!

Great unadvice ....

I particularly liked even Max Clifford! Maybe my query letters are too tame!
Sue

Katie,

Thanks for the information (to the sound of muffled curses and furious scribbling).

Have you read the cover letter template Steven King gives in his book ‘On Writing’?
If you have I’d be interested in your opinion.

Grinder

Hi Katie, thanks for your posting. I am starting to think though that Daisy2004 in her thread, How to get and Agent, was right, in that whatever you write in your introductory letter, agents are predisposed to thinking that their slushpiles are full of junk and so don't look at them with much care.

So my latest tactic has been to ask my friends for ideas (I'd previously avoided doing this as I didn't want to use up all my goodwill in one go), and lo and behold, one of them told my she was a college with an agent. The agent in question works for an agency I had not previously contacted as they say that they do not accept unsolicted submissions, but perhaps an 'X suggested I contact you' message might make them more inclined to at least read my letter all the way through. Who knows? You agents move in mysterious ways!

Adele.

<Added>

I should of course make that most agents, as you sound much more diligent and enthusiastic than that.

A bit embarrassed about this, but a few years ago I got a bit tired of applying to agents so I thought I would try the direct approach to a publisher. To help my letter along I enclosed a 500g bar of chocolate. They didn't take me on, but I got a nice letter back.

I don't recommend this though. The cost of the postage was more than the chocolate. Think I might try book tokens next time

Colin M

I always think it's good to try and make you letter stand out from the crowd. Who knows, amybe chocolate is the way forward...

I just wanted to show how many different ways people approach agents. That's what makes it so hard to come up with any hard and fast rules. What appeals to one agent may completely turn off another, so I think you have to try and strike some sort of balance.

Personal connections can certainly help your letter stand out, and you never know, it could help.

I haven't read the Stephen King intro, but someone else mentioned it a while ago, so I should try and dig it out.

K

<Added>

Oh and Daisy thanks for explaining the whole muckle thing - I was confused to say the least!

Okay then, if you request the full manuscript of my novel I'll include something nice.

How about?:

"Read my work you lousy bum, or I'll blow your lips off!"

Is that a little strong do you think? I don't know, it could work, depends on the person I suppose. Though the secretaries might not like it.

Damn, what would Charles Bronson do in a publishing situation?

Is it possible to blag a publisher into publishing your work, con them, tell them your writing is fashionable, the new "in" material of the coming season. I thought writing wasn't like that, but it seems to be going in that direction. Television and media manipulation have infected the printing presses.

Steven

Katie, as usual, you're a beacon of hope in an otherwise foggy world of agents and what they really, really want. It's helpful for everybody here I think to have this kind of advice from one who knows.

Aw shucks Anna, that's a lovely thing to say and I'm quietly blushing in front of my computer.

Not sure I don't confuse people, rather than make things clearer...Have to say actually, the letters that I know are from WW members are always charming, without exception. So I suspect I may be preaching to the converted....Still, I always think it's easier to see what we're talking about if you have an example of it. Most people get it right, but sometimes you have to wonder what they were thinking....

K

<Added>

Sorry if the above is a little incoherent. Brain turning to mush I fear.

I'm always afraid to be humourous in my enquiry letters. My humour is fairly sarcastic and I don't want to come across as cocky. It's a hard thing to pull off when someone can't see the little sparkle in my eyes.

I think my query letters tend to be a bit too formal, and any advice on how to relax this, while still getting my point across, would be greatly appreciated.

Any innuendo within this post is entirely accidental.

James x

I think I agree with James here, I would like to be more "me" in my submission letters but worry that it might not come across as intended.

I try to be as short and to the point as possible, avoid waffle, and enclose a separate sheet about myself. A friend of mine who is a publisher advised me to include a photo sheet, but in the interview with Derek Johns (literary agent with AP Watt - article posted on another thread by Traveller, - http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/getwriting/agentstale )
he says to never do this.

Just as a matter of interest, the friend who advised this gave the reason:

when you make a submission you are promoting yourself as a product that can be used by a publisher to help promote sales of your own work.

I'd like to know if anyone disagrees with this.

Colin M

Hi Colin, even if you are extremely good-looking, I wouldn't enclose a photo. The most important thing to an agent is your writing. How presentable you are is the icing on the cake, but there has to be a good cake there to start with.

In a previous writing life, I had and agent who intimated that I was a marketing man's dream (good icing!), but as I didn't produce a strong enough book (unlike the current masterpiece!) our project never got off the ground.

The whole process was a huge disappointment to me, but also, I think, a very good lesson: to focus as much as possible on the strength of one's writing.

Best of luck,

Adele.

Well I aint good looking, that's for sure. However, when I read something, part of me does want to know what the author looks like. I'm the same with radio personalities, I like to have a face to put with the voice.

Colin M.