Aruna, a further thought: having grown up in a very negative and critical climate I find Californian positivity very attractive, but sooner or later, my early learning generally kicks in. That's my war!

Adele.

Aruna,

You're so right, it is totally amazing how much difference attitude makes. However, I think believing in yourself does make a difference - not in an egotistical 'God's gift to the world' sense, but if we look at the areas of our lives we do well in, they tend to be the areas we expect to do well in.

OK, now how can I resist a look at Adam's page from the safety of my bedroom...?

Cath

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Adele, I think we all have a war against early learning!

Cath, I'm happy to say that not everyone has that particular war. One of my cousins was Captain of the England Under-16 cricket team on their tour of South Africa this winter. However, despite his obvious innate talent, that would never have happened had he not had fantastically supportive parents and coaches. Also, at the cricketing centre of excellence he was taught positive visualisation techniques. Picturing himself scoring those runs and taking those catches has certainly worked for him. He's a great kid in every way, although, unfortunately, that hasn't stopped one of his school teachers picking on him in class. I hope we can help him deal with this downside of success, as well as with the positives.

Adele.

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PS - I should add that in my experience, most people have a cross to bear, and I'm always impressed by those who can will their cross to be weightless.

Yes, our ear;y training has a lot to do with our attitude and mine wasn't the best - I don't blame my parents,, but our whole society was terribly hierarchical and growing up ina colony if you weren't British you were automatically second rate. So my particular cross was a total lack of conffiedence and the belief that I was no good for anything.. and I thinkl that's the reason why I didn;t start writing seriously till I was almost 50!

Yes, it's true that only an indefatigable faith can keep you going through failure and rejectiion. Believing absolutely in the act of creation, and sticking to it no matter what others (ie agents and editors!) say - and at the same time, having the flexibility to learn, gfrow, improve, and in some cases move on to the next work.

Well, that's what works for me!

As adults, I don't think we should blame anyone but ourselves for our own short-comings. But with children, it's a different matter...

Anyway Aruna, it's great that you did eventually find your voice and the confidence to get it out there into the world. Keep on keeping on!

Adele.

Again, apologies for the typos. I'm not really a bad speller, but a quick typer with clumsy fingers, and too impatient with posting!

Yes, it's true that only an indefatigable faith can keep you going through failure and rejectiion. Believing absolutely in the act of creation, and sticking to it no matter what others (ie agents and editors!) say - and at the same time, having the flexibility to learn, gfrow, improve, and in some cases move on to the next work.

Couldn't agree more, Aruna (even with typos!)!

Adele, I think learning to let go of blame for our shortcomings is part of growing up! It's not easy, though. Most people probably never manage it.

Cath

Cath, yes, it's certainly easier said than done. Someone told me you should always keep an open heart and an open mind, which I liked the sound of. However, when I subsequently asked him if he was keeping an open mind and an open heart, he said, "No and no." I'm still trying to work that one out...

Adele.

Stickability, a rubber bum, and faith in the law of averages. The rollercoaster of optimism and disappointment is what most aspiring writers have to live with.

Simply finishing a novel is a massive achievement. The only ‘failure’ is when we don’t recognise it may not be, in its present form, publishable. When we refuse to accept constructive criticism and suggestions. When we regard it as something inviolable.

Dee

Hey, I think I may have solved the "No and no" conundrum, thanks to Zettel's thought-provoking poem, "The Game." We shall see. No guts, no glory!

Adele.

I remember reading a book years ago "Fearing the Fear" a long book, full of inspiring thought but the long and short of it is why spend your life being afraid, if you never try you don't know there is actually anything to fear!

Hi Baroque, that sounds like an interesting book. Fear is a hugely powerful force. It made me think of this week's Desert Island Discs, repeated tomorrow, with the food writer Nigel Slater. He said that one of the worst things about his childhood was not being sent to bed by his father with a good hiding, but instead with the threat of a good hiding, so he would lie awake dreading the creak of the step in the night...

Some great points on here. Aruna you are spot on when you say it takes a few knock backs to learn the art. Rejection is a big part of the life of a professional writer, and if one learns to take it constructively, the writing definately improves.

Without the remarks I recieved from several agents, my book would never have come to the phase it has - awaiting publication.

The thing I find most tricky, is that the more you write, the better you get. I wrote my book two years ago, and think my skill has dramatically improved - so the editing process is very hairy. I keep coming across adjective hell, and some very clunky dialogue. By the time I've finished editing, surely I would have improved even more. At what point do you step away and accept that the work is completed?

JB

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And I am more afraid of not trying than I have ever been of failure.

To quote our erstwhile friend Yoda:

Do or do not. There is no try.

Or Blackadder:

Ha ! I laugh at danger and drop ice cubes down the vest of fear.


Gina.

Love the Blackadder quote! I've finally starting reading The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron, which I bought ages ago (isn't this one of your faves, Cath?). I liked the beginning so much that I sent a copy to a friend, who thinks he's a financier, but who I see as a blocked writer who should get his manuscript out of the drawer again. I hope the book helps to banish his fears.

Btw, I've just realised that Yoda is an anagram of do ya (?).

Adele.

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Oops, I see that Slippery Silver got the snip back there...