If WW had an All-Star thread section, this thread would be in it.

You're right. I think we'd have to get Mr Bruce to dig out a few censored ones too.

The only thing is, I think it's made my writer's block worse.

Hi, Im new to the site. Just wanted to say a quick hi!

Welcome.

Keep your head down facade! Davey's gone postal, Silverelli's plugged into the Pentagon, Skippo's watching 70s porn, Marj is eating mousakka and Adele is heading for the can of whupass.

It's gonna get freaky!

Beadle

Wow, thats some introduction! Nice to meet you all anyway. I'm sure it will make sense one day.

Mousakka? That's yesterdays news. Today I had quorn burgers. Hi facade!

Beadle, how did you know about the can of whupass? Are you stalking me?

Adele.

No I hacked into your Tesco Online account.

4 cans of whupass
6 tins of baked beans
A jar of sundried tomatoes
15 crates of Special Brew
one baseball bat

Is that right?

Wow, now I'm really spooked! However you forgot the Pedigree Chum for my Rottweiller

Btw, do you look like these gentlemen?:
http://www.philaprintshop.com/images/oxfordbeadles.jpg

Adele.

Actually the bloke second right has a passing family resemblance.

I stopped wearing those little stocking things when I was 12.

Beadle

Aw thanks Skip, I know the direct debit broke down last month but that's only coz the care in the community customer services people weren't working properly and I didn't get paid. Left there now, got a job looking after old abandoned rail cart things (trains some say), you know cheering them up, bringing around the meals on wheels (rails), chatting aboot the war...anyway, ta love, and you were close to the lunchbox, but not as classy as Star Wars. Just a fading Muppet. As for the lunchbox, it's got Kermit the Frog on it. Haw haw hardi ha...

And Marj - I understand, Glaswegian brain freeze can be very disorientating. I forgive you, and keep up the Master of Ceremonies bit. I like it. Can I wear a flowing gown and headress?

Feckin ell, Beadle you woz so close, almost as close as you were to getting Adele's shopping spot on. You forgot chicken, which I know is always on her list, and a copy of "The Sound of Music - Series 4" DVD, you know the one with Keifer Sutherland racing against time to stop the Nazi's from general orrid plots to take over the world, whilst dressed in leiderhosen (is that wrong Ads? Exploding trousers or something innit?) and singing heartily...

And Ads, I love being one of them, whatever they translate as!

In fact I fear Beadle may be spying on us all with one of them internet periscope things that are all the rage nowadays.

Gawd, this has gone right off on one, this thread.

I blame Grinder personally...

Marj, did you know quorn is basically just fungus (and could therefore give you thrush)?

Oh dear. Sorry, everyone. See what a night of porn taches does to me? I'll shut up now.

wow, what a marketing tag-line

'Quorn Burgers! - now with added thrush'

Ever thought of advertising copy writing Skippo?

Beadle

Quorn is mushroom protein. If it could give you thrush then so could breaded mushrooms, mushroom pakoras or mushroom soup. Anyway, what about meat? What's nice about eating dead animals? In fact your body can't properly process it. Humans techinaclly shouldn't eat meat - we are carnivores. Thats why we get blocked arteries from eating the stuff. Tigers don't get blocked arteries cos they are designed to eat meat. Have you ever seen a tiger at the doctors to get his (or her) blood pressure checked? Exactly.

<Added>

Oh bloody hell, I can't spell. I think the thrush is affecting my ability to type.

<Added>

Oh crap, and I meant to say that humans are herbivores, not carnivores. What's wrong with me today. I shouldn't have got up so early. I think I need a big juicy steak.

Have you ever seen an eighty year old tiger?

We're omnivores, otherwise you wouldn't have incisors and canines in your gob.

Besides, if you are what you eat, then a cow is just grass. Big brown grass that walks about and says "moo"

Colin