For ages now I've been telling myself to cut back on the poetry and try writing a novel as I know if I ever hope to make a living from writing this is the way I must go. A few weeks ago I wrote a tentative prologue - The Symmetry of Dreams - and posted it on WW and got some good feedback and suggestions to improve it, (many thanks!)

I have several more ideas for chapters and developments that could be worked into the story - the first time I've felt I could take an idea 'somewhere'. It's sort-of semi-biographical, but I gather that's often the case with first attempts at 'fiction'.

However, I just can't seem to get myself to sit down and start writing! I lose interest, find 10 other things to do, get quite scared and have that horrible feeling I used to get as a student when an essay was hanging over me....what is this telling me? Should I abandon my idea or force myself to knuckle down? Has anyone else had this, if so how did/do you get over it?
I NEVER feel this way about writing a poem, I just LOVE that whole process, however much I find myself struggling to get it right...

Is prose just not for me, or is there hope?!

x
tc

tc -

You mean you didn't feel that way writing poetry? LOL I do know exactly what you're talking about, finding other things to do, etc. Perhaps as you get into a routine writing prose just as you are accustomed to writing poetry, you might become less avoidant? Or maybe not. But maybe?

Ani

I don't know Ani....Maybe this is telling me this story isn't right, or perhaps because its linked to real stuff that's still ongoing in my life, now isn't the time to try and 'fictionalise' it...I am in quite a good routine in terms of my writing, or at least I am when I'm not writing this!
I've even been in bed in the morning thinking of how I could write a particular piece, getting quite keenn and excited, but then once I'm up and I can actually start the bloody thing, I find my motivation just trickles away.

I was part of Anna's Beginner's Group a while back and didn't feel this then - I really enjoyed it - but then we had a word limit for each exercise and I knew they would be short and snappy. Maybe I need to just set myself a low word limit for each day and not think of the whole thing stretching ahead of me.....eeek!

x
tc

Maybe it would help if you gave yourself very short, linited bits to write, and also, not writing in order? Pick whatever it is that you're itching to write about your story, and then worry about stitching it together later. I say that because the piece I am working on now has ground to a halt (and it's not even a novel, it's just a long short story) and I think it's because I'm trying to position myself to write what i want to write next, but the joining up bits are leading me astray. Maybe by writing out of order, but writing what I know I want to be in the story, I'll manage to get it written. (If I've become unclear, I'm only on my second glass of wine, but I can't hold it like I used to....)

Don't give it up, tc! You certaily got off to a rip-banging start.

Ani

Sorry, I failed to address part of what you had mentioned in your post. Of course, you'll have to decide if you're not ready to write about it, but often writing helps us to deal with events in our lives, so maybe it's good therapy. I agree that setting yourself a low word limit would help. Then at 300 words you can congratulate yourself instead of saying "700 words to go."

Ani

Yes, Ani, thanks. I like the idea of writing particular parts that I fancy and leaving other stuff. I had been thinking of this as a linear thing, but of course it doesn't have to be.

One other thing - I don't totally know where its going - does that matter at this stage? As in I don't have a plot worked out from beginning to end. I just read something Sue said where she mentions she has her latest all mapped out and plotted. That sounds fab, and incredibly impressive, but I don't think I could be as precise as that at this stage. I guess some folk work like that and others "wing it" more?
x
tc

No, I don't think you have to know. Of course, it's fine if you do know. But I think the end can become clear to you as you go. I haven't written a novel, but this is often what happens in short story writing. You start, and while you're writing, you see your way. Surprise yourself!

Ani

<Added>

Oh, and I imagine there's more scope for it in novel writing, anyway!

Hello TC, I'm with Ani, I don't think you have to know where a novel is going as long as you have a strong sense of the main theme. My personal feeling is that the more time you spend planning a novel - unless in detail led genres like crime or science fiction - the greater the limitations you place on your creativity. I know an awful lot of people with detailed synopses and storyboards who spend years discussing detail and never start at all, or give up halfway. I suspect it's often because the product doesn't match the pre-publicity, or that once it goes off beam, it can be interpreted as failure. That isn't to say that the method doesn't work, just that it's one of many and not as common as people think. I've read some of your poetry. It's absolutely beautiful. I wonder if one of the problems is that prose cannot immediately have the grace and depth of poetry, and that is putting you off? Also, you're a sprinter, and now you're rehearsing for the marathon. It's not going to happen without a lot of warm ups. As Ani says, stop worrying about getting your ideas down in a particular order, and don't panic that characters are unformed or shallow. You have 85,000+ words with which to develop them and their storylines, and halfway in they will get their own momentum, turn around and bite you on the bum, and you'll refashion the whole thing anyway!! If you're losing the will to write with this particular effort, I wonder if the problem is you're writing the wrong thing. Your prologue has an interesting premise, but it's a scene that belongs either somewhere in the middle, or at the end. Why not try a few other ideas over the next few days. I'm littered around this site telling people to use the four page a day rule - each day writing four pages unrelated to the four they wrote the day before because a) you learn to sit at the screen for a protracted but length limited period of time, b) you get rid of the dross in your front brain and c) it builds a confidence that gets results (the last friend of mine who tried it got £100,000 for his first novel. I nearly bit my tongue off with envy!!)... Good luck, and I love your poetry. Shyama:-)

tc,

I don't think your feeling this way means it's wrong for you to write a novel. I've written novels (on my third) and although I can't imagine not writing novels anymore, it can be a phenomenally dispiriting thing to do - whereas when I do flash, I can write exactly what I'm inspired to at that moment, there's no tangled plot to progress and it's done in 30 minutes, with a novel you face the prospect of having to spend months, years with it, day in day out, write the scene whether or not it's how you feel that day ... and all that effort not knowing whether there's any prospect of it being read (Jeez, I'm depressing myself now). To me it always feels I'm standing at the foot of Everest with a very long way to climb ...

But ..... that experience of being immersed in the same thing, developing it, living alongside your characters, resolving irresolvable problems is just fantastic and to me worth the downside. To me, there's nothing like it.

Which is all by way of saying, feeling the way you do doesn't mean you don't have a damn fine novel in you.

Who is it who has posted on their profile the George Orwell quote (is it you Elspeth? I sometimes read people's profiles - is that sad?) that writing a novel is like an illness, a laborious, painful process you would never undertake unless some demon inside pressed you on (or something, only he said it much better).

Take care
Andrea

Shayma - thanks so much for the nice words about my poems. Glad you like them - you may only have them to read for some
time to come!

I think I'm taking it all a bit too seriously. The message seems to be relax, do the bits you enjoy, play with it and don't focus on the big picture.

The immediacy of poetry IS seductive, I can 'create' and be reasonably happy in a couple of sessions, although infinite tinkering usually follows. The thought of 85,000 words is terrifying, but then also liberating, because I've only usually got ten words or so to say what I need to.

Andrea, I understand your message about the positive and negative sides. It is very daunting, but I do want to do it very much.

Thanks to you all for your help and advice, I'll stick at it and post whatever I manage on WW so you have been warned!

x
tc

Isn’t it strange, the different ways we approach novel-writing? Andrea sees it as a mountain to climb – I see it as a long-term relationship. I’m dreading coming to the end of The Winter House (SP 1073 ). I know I’ll be lost for days, maybe even weeks. I’ll miss Fynn, the house, the dog, the ghosts. I’ll wonder what would happen if I just keep going a bit longer… but eventually I’ll get over that love affair (Lewis who?) and move on to the next one.

I love the early stages, the vast expanse of unwritten words, getting to know the new characters, exploring new places…

Tc, I’ve given up all attempts to plot in advance. I know it works for some, but it’s not for everyone. I think of a couple of characters and give them names. I spend a while getting to know them in my head and then I put them into a location and see what they do. I only have a vague notion where they might end up. Sometimes it’s very scary. Only recently I’ve been lying awake night after night unable to see what the next word should be. But I’ve learned to trust my characters and they usually sort themselves out. I went to see Joanne Harris recently and was delighted to hear that she does exactly the same thing.

Keep going. Write whatever is in the front of your mind and string it together later. Don’t force yourself and enjoy the relationship.

Dee
x

Thanks, Dee. I was kinda hoping you'd have some advice!

I like the idea of a very free approach, though I doubt I'd have your aplomb in carrying it off. I'd be terrified!
But I won't try and structure it so hard and will try to learn to let it almost take me places, instead of me forcing it.
I think the character development is obviously something that I'll find hard - not really a strong point in poetry!- but I'll certainly have a go at fleshing the characters out more and see if that gives me direction.

Crumbs, there's lots to remember! But I feel a bit better about it all now...
x
tc

tc, any time you think I can help, you know where I am. As for character development, try working through this list. I think it was Ani or Sharon who first posted it. (my apologies if that’s wrong) If your characters can answer these questions, you’re doing OK. And if you know your characters well enough for them to answer these questions, they’ll be solid enough to rely on. You can let them lead the story instead of pushing them along a pre-destined track.

NAME
SEX
HOME
HEIGHT
EYES
HAIR COLOUR
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT OUIJA BOARDS?
FAVOURITE BOARD GAME
FAVOURITE MAGAZINE
FAVOURITE SMELL
WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD
BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD
FAVOURITE SOUNDTRACK
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU DO WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
ROLLER COASTERS ~ DEADLY OR EXCITING?
PEN OR PENCIL?
HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
FUTURE SON’S NAME?
FUTURE DAUGHTER’S NAME?
DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS?
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME?
CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA?
FAVOURITE ICE CREAM
DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE?
DO YOU SLEEP WITH STUFFED ANIMALS?
THUNDERSTORMS: COOL OR SCARY
IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON, DEAD OR ALIVE, WHO WOULD IT BE?
WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE POET?
DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCOLLI?
GIRLS, WOULD YOU EVER ASK A GUY FOR HIS SHIRT?
GUYS, WOULD YOU GIVE A GIRL THE SHIRT OFF YOUR BACK?
IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOUR, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
IF YOU COULD HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE?
IF YOU COULD GET A PIERCING, WHAT AND WHERE WOULD IT BE?
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM?
IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SOFT DRINK?
FAVOURITE MOVIE
ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS?
IF YOU COULD LIVE ANY WHERE YOU WANTED, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
IF YOU COULD BE ONE GARDENING TOOL, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
WHAT’S UNDER YOUR BED?
WHAT’S YOUR DREAM CAR?
FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH?
FIVE THINGS YOU HAVE IN YOUR POCKET/BAG

To me, the moment when I commit to writing one idea, rather than half a dozen others, does feel like that mountain's ahead. Trying to think what it feels like after that - it is a huge relief to finally begin committing to paper what's been swimming around in my head for months. After that, not so much a long-term relationship as having been given a visa to enter another world, allowed to live alongside my characters in their story. It becomes addictive, to the extent I can feel my stomach fizzing with excitement when I approach my PC. When I was approaching the end of the fourth draft of Corozal & Dexire I knew I would be taking a break from it to regroup, and dreaded leaving them behind. The next few weeks, I felt really aimless. But it passed. And I'll be going back there soon to begin draft five ...

I think Dee's right that it's different for everyone, so my advice would be to try out all appealing advice and then discard what doesn't work for you. I followed John Braine's advice to write an earlier novel start to finish in one go, no revision, no looking back and for me it was a disaster. But apparently it works for others. Many ways to skin a cat, and you'll find your own.

Andrea

What an interesting thread.

I thought it would be a novel idea for me (will I ever tire of that joke?) to embark on a novel.

I started it off, then stopped. I didn't know my MC well enough to do such things with her! Then I realised I didn't much like her, and no one else would either, so I killed her. She's been replaced now, and I got all excited about the story, started rushing ahead in my head - but then couldn't put it down on paper.

At this point I think it's a fear of commitment. Must try to push through this barrier.