I'm half way through the re-write of my first childrens novel, and I've added a scene which talks about badger baiting..not in any detail though..it's an ongoing problem in the area where it is based but may be too strong for 8 - 11 yr olds..

“We could go and see the badgers again” said Aisling before the cat had a chance to answer.
“That’s not a good idea at the moment, Ash” Caprim replied. “I’ve heard that there was some baiting going on in the forest last night. I wouldn’t want you to get caught up in that.”
“What’s baiting?” she asked innocently.
The bird looked at Jenson for approval.
“With care though, please, Caprim” said the cat.
“OK” he replied and turned to the girl. “Some of your kind can be very cruel, Ash. They take their dogs into the forest and find themselves a badger sett. They use various means to trap a badger into some kind of pit, and then put their dogs in to fight with them.”
Aisling was horrified.
“Why would they do that?” she asked.
“Purely for entertainment” said Jenson. “They even have the nerve to call it a sport.”
“So what happens to the poor badgers afterwards?” she asked in a desperate tone.
“Sadly, the men kill them” Caprim replied.

x

In my opinion, it's too tame. There's no emotion, no anger or disgust from the animals, just a toned down report, making the voice very adult.

For an example of what I'm thinking, consider the voices of the animals in Charlotte's Web or Babe, when they refer to humans. Also, the scene in The Fantastic Mr Fox, where the family of foxes are being dug out by the farmers. The terrified young fox asks its mother, "How will they kill us? Will there be dogs?"

Very simple, but very direct and effective.

Thanks Colin..I will develop it..I had to ask though because my 14yr old daughter had a bit of a shriek at and went on about how she cried at the age of 9 when the dog went missing in a Secret Seven book! x

The example Colin quotes is a show - the text reflects the fear of the foxes caught up in it, so one empathises with the foxes. I feel that you are avoiding making yours a show because it would probably be far too graphic for the age range you are aiming at.
At this age range I would suggest starting with something a little simpler, such as trapping or shooting, which would be more dangerous to the character since any unwary creature could be shot or trapped.

- NaomiM

Interesting question. You are already dealing with a very challenging subject in writing about Alzheimers (and succeeding). I think I'd be wary of placing it too close to that story, as some children could find both in quick succession hard to take. But that said, I think it's OK. After all, look at the Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. I remember reading it at that age and being horrified at Aslan being sacrificed, but it was powerful and memorable and didn't traumatise me too much!
Susiex

Thanks Naomi..think I need to meet in the middle of you and Colin. x

Thanks again Susie!
It's a tricky one. Badger baiting is a very real issue in lots of places, and I live in the forest where the book is based where it is rife. Aisling had watched cubs playing a few nights before, and just before the above text, she has discovered a lot of money under Grandads floorboards. I know it's probably harsh, but I wanted something to take the focus off the importance of the money.
I don't really have any 'baddies' in the the first book..Alzheimer's obviously, and her bedroom door leads to the Dreamers End, a kind of black abyss, only when she's in a dreamstate of course, and no-one falls in..not in this book anyway. I have changed it a little..

“We could go and see the badgers again” said Aisling before the cat had a chance to answer.
“That’s not a good idea at the moment, Ash” Caprim replied with regret. “I’ve heard that there was some baiting going on in the forest last night. I wouldn’t want you to get caught up in that.”
“What’s baiting?” she asked innocently.
The bird looked at Jenson for approval.
“With care though, please, Caprim” said the cat.
“OK” he replied and turned to the girl. “Some of your kind can be very cruel, Ash. They take their dogs into the forest and find themselves a sett. Then they trap a badger and put their dogs into a fight with them. Sometimes, their own dogs come off worse.”
Aisling was horrified.
“Why would they do that?” she asked.
“Purely for entertainment” said Jenson, spitting the words out. “They even have the nerve to call it a sport.”
“So what happens to the poor badgers afterwards?” she asked in a desperate tone.
“Sadly, the men kill them” Caprim quietly replied.
Aisling felt sick.

?x


<Added>

I may well cut it altogether and just say that their were hunters in the forest the night before. We have deer, wild boar, sheep and even the odd big black cat here. We also have a couple of white stags ( though sadly the biggest one was beheaded recently for someones trophy cabinet ) so maybe they'll be an unsuccessful target..
Who knows lol x

Yes, I prefer this last version. There's more emotion in it and we feel the impact on Aisling. (Don't hate me, but 'innocently' and 'in a desperate tone' is a bit out of POV!!!)
Susiex

Aaargh! Lol..I've spent half the day going through & editing in the name of POV and I'm guessing because this bit is new I've slipped back into the mindset. It's difficult to put a tone to her voice without her feeling/felt all the time..you are right though..thanks x

LOL, Marla.
I'm revising the first draft of my novel and have a chapter where I slip right out of POV - not only out of the character's POV but directly into another character's - TWICE in a few lines.
Susiex

their were hunters in the forest the night before

Probably a good idea.
If you have a character of a white stag in the story maybe mention it is missing, suggesting that the hunters have bagged it. If necessary you could have it appear at some point wounded from a rifle shot, if you want to drive home the point that hunting is cruel.

<Added>

Also, although badger baiting does go on, it is illegal, but you excerpt gives the impression (“They even have the nerve to call it a sport.”) that it's not, and is still a common occurance.

Thanks..

Aisling had to do a project for school on 'Our Environment'. She had chosen recycling as her subject, but changed her mind when she heard about the baiting ( which will now be hunting ) and researched on the net. Then she discovers the legalities, as I didn't think the animals going into that would be realistic..(she says, referring to the talking cat & bird lol)..
Aargh, I despise the rewrite thing..when I paint a picture, I paint it once and work it until it's right. If someone else wants the same picture, they have to settle for a different one..

Thanks again for all your help x

...researched on the net. Then she discovers the legalities...

Just be careful it doesn't turn into an info. dump, Maria. Is there a Nature Watch Group in the area? There is likely to be someone there who knows the legalities of the situation, whom she could chat to.

<Added>

...maybe while making bat boxes and bird feeders - at least that's what our local Watch Group tend to do :)

Thanks Naomi..It did concern me a little..I've re-written the scene..It would be easier to just chop it, I guess, but it's quite relevant later on. This won't be a stand alone book..I've already outlined the next one and am weaving I suppose. Please let me know what you think!x

“We could go and see the badgers again” said Aisling before the cat had a chance to answer.
“That’s not a good idea at the moment, Ash” Caprim replied with regret. “I heard that there were hunters in the forest last night.”
“Oh?”
The bird looked at Jenson for approval.
“With care though, please, Caprim” said the cat.
“OK” he replied and turned back to Aisling. “You must have heard of the big, majestic white stag that lives here.”
“Yes I have. I saw him once when I was out with Dad. It was amazing. There are a couple of smaller ones too, aren’t there? I haven’t seen them yet though.”
“Well, some of your kind can be very cruel, Ash” said Caprim sadly. “They come here in groups to hunt him down. Whoever shoots him will win the trophy.”
“Why? What? They have a trophy?” she asked, and then she remembered visiting some old house when they were on holiday that had stags heads stuck onto wooden plaques all over the walls.
Aisling was horrified.
“Why would they want to do that? They’re not allowed to do that, surely?” she asked, feeling angry and upset all at once.
“No, they most certainly are not” said Jenson bitterly. “Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to stop them.”
“Don’t worry about it too much though, Ash” said the bird with some hope in his voice. “They’ve been trying for years and he’s still the king of the forest.”
Aisling felt sick. She decided there and then to scrap her recycling project.
Some of the other kids will probably be doing that anyway, she said to herself, and the more people who know about these cruel hunters, the less they’ll get away with it.

They flew home in silence. She thought about that beautiful white stag and how he’d looked at her and Dad before disappearing into the thick woods, and hoped that he was safe. The money didn’t seem so important anymore.

Oh, I liked that version, Maria.

One minor detail:

“Why would they want to do that? They’re not allowed to do that, surely?” she asked, feeling angry and upset all at once. “No, they most certainly are not” said Jenson bitterly. “Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem to stop them.”

- Stag hunting is allowed, especially in Scotland where you can hire a stalker and go out shooting on country estates. It is used for culling the numbers.

Hunting with hounds was still allowed in the South West in 2002, after which the National Trust banned it on their land. Not sure what the situation is now, though, since the ban on fox hunting with hounds.