I've had to do a few of these, mainly to accompany short stories, and I'm really not very good at them. I usually go with 'Nik Perring is a writer and workshop leader from the north west of England,' which, I realise, isn't very exciting.

What does everyone else write? Do you hate doing the Miss World speech as much as me?

Nik

Here's one I've just drafted to go with something coming out in the autumn:

Nik Perring is a writer and workshop leader from the north west of England.

He writes all sorts. He really does. Most of it tends to be a little bit odd, or dark or weird. He’s had short stories and poems published as well as the occasional feature. And a children’s novel.

If you’d like to find out more about him or where he’s going to be then you can do so at his blog, (where he doesn’t write about himself in the third person) which can be found at http://nikperring.blogspot.com or his website: http://nikperring.tripod.com

I've just looked at the folder with them in, and I realise I keep having to re-write them, depending on what it's for, and they're all as dull as ditchwater. I hate doing it too, and find it hard to write anything that doesn't sound drearily formal or horribly showy-offy or grimly facetious: I like yours, Nik, though.

This is my 50-word standard bio. I'll wake you up when I've finished.

Emma Darwin’s first novel The Mathematics of Love was published by Headline Review in July 2006. She lives in London and is writing her second novel as part of a PhD in Creative Writing at Goldsmiths College. www.emmadarwin.com

This, for a Poetry Café gig, was one of my more lighthearted openers, being a Londoners-only joke:

Emma Darwin was born and brought up in London on the north side of the Thames, though she has since moved south of it...

Emma

That's really cool, Nik, because you manage to maintain the form while showing your sense of humour and giving a flavour of your writing and presentation style.

Yes, I hate doing bios because my parents brought me up to think it was terrifically bad form to show off in any way. Much more acceptable all round if you rubbish yourself repeatedly in public!

I've since changed it (just emailed it) and I think I prefer this version. Ho hum and bother!


I like both of yours actually Emma - and I even got the joke.

my parents brought me up to think it was terrifically bad form to show off in any way

That's the thing, isn't it? Mine were exactly the same. I just try to look at this as not showing off, more doing a job. Still, it doesn't stop a wee cringe when I hit 'send.'

Nik.

Nik, if you email quickly you can get them to change it. I've done that.

Yes, we weren't told off at home for showing off, but the school-yard culture is horribly strong, as is the English atmosphere. The 'don't show off', 'pride comes before a fall', 'don't blow your own trumpet' thing is a real inhibition, which is ridiculous when it's something you honestly earned: why not? I try to think of it as actors do: my calling card and track-record.

(And then there's the publicity value of something that's just sheer serendipity, but you can't leave out, which is a far, far worse form of showing off, and the ultimate in Bad Taste and Bad Form and everything else. We were brought up never to mention it, I hate doing it and grind my teeth each time I type it, but I'd be shooting myself in the foot not to. It's easier when the bio's lighthearted, and I can put it as '...and if asked she will admit to being a great-great-granddaughter of...')

Emma

Mine was sent back witha request to be "more quirky"

Here it is, as appears in RD&T

'Claire Allan has worked as a reporter for the Derry Journal for the past eight years. Aside from work, she has a passion for reading, buying inexpensive handbags in Tesco and blethering on the phone.
'She has been married to Neil was six years (she was a child bride) and they have one slighty hyper three year old, Joseph.
Claire also has time share of a serial killing goldfish called Dorothy. Rainy Days and Tuesdays is her debut novel. You can visit her website at www.claireallan.com'

Claire, that's a nice full bio they let you have. Mine in TMOL is very brief:

Emma Darwin was born in 1964 and brought up in London, Manhattan and Brussels. The Mathematics of Love is her first novel.

and that's it. The Morrow version is longer, but just as po-faced.

Emma

I use this one at the moment:

JwBennett, self-styled neomythologist, is a British writer of dark fantasy, horror and the occasional contemporary fable. Raised in the wilds of Africa and Cornwall, he is presently at large somewhere in the UK.

JB

I don't think any of those seem like bragging. They're just straightforward. And the Darwin thing - well it's such an unusual name I would be wondering and it's nice to know somehow. Don't really see how that is bragging either. I know it doesn't have much to do with the book but what details on biogs do? It's just an interesting detail about the author - makes it a bit more colourful.

'Sapph writ this.'

<Added>

Not rich in biographical detail, admittedly.

I wrote a lighthearted one for WTLF, based around the fact that my main character has a whole list of things he wants to do, like see the earth from space, break records and run up down escalators.

Sally Nicholls was born in Stockton and spent her childhood trying to make life as much like a children’s book as possible. She gained a BA in Philosophy and Literature at the University of Warwick and an MA in Writing for Young People at the University of Bath Spa, where she won the PFD prize for the author whose writing showed the most potential. She was twenty-three when she wrote her first novel, Ways to Live Forever.

Although Sally has never managed to see the Earth from space, she was briefly a world record holder as a participant in the world’s largest pillow fight. She loves being a writer, as it is one of the few jobs that lets her run up down escalators and call it work.

They said they loved it, but then they took out the jokes on the basis that the biog will be read before the book, so the reader won't get the jokes and it'll kind of spoil the book. I see their point, but i still liked the humour

Yeah I liked the humour too Sally. Still I'm sure they know best.

N