My latest work involves the death of a baby from meningitus. I have started to research the effects on the family. Apart from the natural feelings of distress when I read parent's stories I am beginning to feel like a ghoul. Problem is I feel it is important to do this right, but do I have the right to use other people's pain to write a romance novel.The story is about a couple who had a perfect marriage(they thought)that fell apart on the death of their child.Story begins four years later when one partner has met someone he wants to marry.They have to resolve the past before they can move on.What do you think?
Kat

I think if you're doing it seriously and responsibly, not just tossing it in or making it light of it, that's fine. Maybe when you've done your research you need to let it settle a bit before writing, so the actual stories fade out and you can find a new, imagined story in your head. As writers we probably have to accept being ghoulish - that's sort of what Alan Bennett meant, I think, about seeing his dead father, among other experiences.

Emma

There's nothing ghoulish about research, unless you find yourself taking pleasure in reading about other people's pain.

I was doing research on various forms of cancer a few years ago. Specifically looking for lethal forms with mild symptoms. I felt dirty, but at the end of the day, I got what I needed to know. Some subjects will always be difficult to look into. Writing novels about child abuse etc can set boundaries of themselves.

But as I say, research from a purely 'professional' standpoint, and I don't see a problem no matter the subject.

Hey, IB - you're back!

Kat,

I think it's how you handle it and as Emma and IB say, as long as you write responsibly and seriously then it could be very valuable. Actually, some friends of mine lost their two year old daughter to meningitis six years ago. It is a truly devastating experience for the family involved and also for friends around them. In their case they set up a research project and have major funding projects. It's obviously a great thing to do but cathartic for them. It gives back some sense of control over the event, I think.

S

Perhaps you’re feeling extra sensitive about this because it’s a baby? There is a dreadful sense of lost potential when a young child dies but really, the death of any child is devastating, whatever the age. The majority of crime novels involve the death of someone… always someone’s child, even if the victim is an adult.

I'm just throwing this into the ring to help you get things into perspective. Handled sensitively, a story about the death of a child can be immensely powerful.

Dee

Got to agree with Dee. You wouldn't feel quite so reluctant if you wanted to write about a car crash, even if you wanted to put the same angle on it, ie the effects of the crash on relatives rather than the immediate "Casualty" moment.

I don't think it's ghoulish, but I would advise any authors who deal with delicate subjects to treat the subject with respect - that doesn't mean treat it with delicacy, but to at least try to understand it as fully as possible. It sounds like you've got this in mind, so best of luck to you. If you're putting this amount of thought into it then you're probably the right person to attempt it. Best of luck. Will you be uploading it here?

Colin M

Thank you for your encouragement, I think I was in danger of getting cold feet once I started researching it. As it is a romance I won't need too much detail,but I do need to write without making silly mistakes. Thanks again!

Kat

I very nearly lost my 10 day old daughter to septicaemia. If I had, I don't think I'd mind coming across something like that in a book, as long as they'd researched it properly, and not made light of it or the effect of it on other characters, even if it was a fairly small part of the plot. I might cry, or I might stop reading, but I wouldn't be offended, as long as it was taken seriously.

Emma

Emma
Your comment was most helpful and I will certainly keep it in mind as I write. Thank you.
Kat